Encouraging Letters to Teens, From a Mom
I have had a wonderful year of writing in 2019! And as I reflect on all the words I have written for various parenting sites around the web, I realize that many of my articles have been encouraging letters to teens, from a mom- aka ME. Each one was inspired by the experiences I’ve had raising my kids.
Parenting teens can be complicated, messy, challenging, and maddening. It can also be the most incredible part of this motherhood journey because our babies are rapidly transforming into grown-up people right before our (tired and tearful) eyes.
This stage of parenting requires much of us and much of them and my gosh, there are so many things we need to teach our kids before they leave our home and do life on their own.
The following encouraging letters for teens, from a mom, are for all teens and all moms because each letter dives into real-life lessons and unconditional love- both of which we constantly deliver daily to our precious kids.
I hope they inspire you to encourage your own kids with the guidance and grace we are called to pour into their hearts and into their lives.
It’s not always easy. Growing pains sometimes hit hard.
But one thing I know for sure is that the heart of any mom who is raising a teen is FULL.
Full of patience and grace, compassion and concern.
And you will find that and more in these encouraging letters to teens, from a mom.
Dear Daughter, Remember This When You’re Stressed About Grades
Dear Daughter,
I hate seeing you so upset when you get a bad grade on a test. I hate seeing you get anxious about the next test and what it will do to your GPA. I hate watching you well up in tears when you tell me how hard you studied and you still didn’t do well. I hate the stress all your classes are causing you…
So, dear daughter, listen to me, okay?
Your grades don’t define you.
READ THE FULL LETTER HERE.
To My Eighth Grade Boy In Your Last Year of Middle School
In just a year, you’ll be heading off to high school. But I’m not ready for all that just yet. It feels like too much too soon.
So, let’s celebrate where you are right now. You have managed the madness of middle school with wisdom and responsibility. You’ve seen things I’d rather you not have seen and learned things I’d rather you not have learned, but that is how it’s supposed to be.
That is how this growing up thing goes.
Here are a few things to remember for this year and those ahead…
READ THE FULL LETTER HERE.
To My Teen, No Matter What Happens, I’ll Love You Through It All
There’s no one in this world who believes in you more than I do. I will always be there for you, no matter what you go through…
Life as a teen can take you through tough terrain, filled with failure and heartache, disappointment and pain. You will be faced with hard things and I know you have already had your share.
There will be a lot more tests and trials to come as you continue to get older and I want you to know that no matter what happens, no matter how bad things get, I’ll love you through it all.
READ THE FULL LETTER HERE.
Dear Daughter, Let Me Help Make Sure Life Doesn’t Wear You Down
You amaze me with such steadfast focus and extraordinary plans.
So, I’ll do what I can to help you get through these hard years. I’ll help you pace your steps and plan your course. I’ll be your encourager and a soft place to fall when the weight of the world pushes you down.
And I will remind you, my beautiful girl, don’t let life wear you down. Over and over again, I will repeat that same sentence to you.
READ THE FULL LETTER HERE.
Dear Teenage Son, This Is The Kind Of Man We Hope You Will Become
As you enter your teen years, your father and I worry about your grades and where you’ll go to college and whether you’ll ever learn to put your clothes away.
But nothing matters more to us than the kind of man you will become.
In these few years we have left with you, there are some important lessons your father and I want you to learn…
READ THE FULL LETTER HERE.
Dear Teen, No Matter How Hard Life Gets, You Always Have a Family Who Loves You
We’ve covered a lot of ground since you’ve been born and it seems you’ve learned many lessons well.
But it’s in your teen years where you’ll be put to the test on it all.
We’re at that turn in the road where I don’t always belong by your side. It’s this stretch of the path where my parenting changes and shifts in new ways.
Now, I will become your Reminder.
READ THE FULL LETTER HERE.
Dear Daughter, I’ll Sit With You in Your Pain Until You Begin to Heal
Today your pain is palpable and the darkness has cast a shadow on your beautiful spirit and bright light. Today is hard. It took you to depths you’ve never sunk to before. And there’s nothing worse than watching you fall, there’s nothing more painful than seeing your heart shattered and your hopes dissolve into scattered pieces of debris…
So, I’ll sit with you in the darkness as long as you need me to.
READ THE FULL LETTER HERE.
Dear Teen, I Will Love You When You’re at Your Worst
You see, love is strongest when we are weakest. When you love someone the way I love you, that love is immovable, impenetrable, unconditional, and forever indelible in my heart.
Love can coast through those times where things are fine and good and people are nice and life is easy. Love is quite simple when mistakes aren’t made or feelings aren’t hurt.
But when things get hard and painful and muddled, all the complex layers of love are revealed and love gets the chance to prove just how relentless and real it really is.
READ THE FULL LETTER HERE.
Dear Teen: You’ll Thank Me For Teaching You How To Say That Difficult “No”
You will be making decisions on your own soon, and you need to learn how to manage your time well. I want to teach you how to prioritize what is most important in your life, so you don’t fail to follow through. I want to teach you that although having fun is worthwhile and needed, you also must be mindful of your responsibilities.
It’s so hard to say no to the fun stuff, I know. And when you are on your own, there will be so many opportunities for you to go where all the fun is, because who doesn’t want to have fun all the time instead of doing hard things?
READ THE FULL LETTER HERE.
Dear Teen Son, Don’t Be in Such a Hurry To Become a Man
I know it’s hard watching your friends transform right before your eyes…
Their voices have grown deeper, their facial hair has become more than just peach fuzz, and their bodies are changing rapidly.
It’s hard being stuck in one place, while others move forward leaving you behind.
But don’t be in such a hurry to become a man, sweet son.
You can’t rush time.
You can’t race into manhood, as fast as you might want to go.
The truth is- manhood comes to you when it’s good and ready-
When you’re good and ready.
READ THE FULL LETTER HERE.
Dear Sweet Girl, Use Your Words Wisely Because They Are Powerful
I want you to be aware of how you speak about others when they’re not around. I want you to be cautious with what you say directly to people too. Think before you speak, always. Instead of being impulsive with what you say, be careful with every word. Think about how you would feel if someone was saying the same thing to you or about you to others. Use your words wisely, sweet girl, okay?
And another thing…
The way you speak to yourself matters more than you know. Your private thoughts have power and come to life in you, too.
So, what words are you choosing when you talk to yourself?
READ THE FULL LETTER HERE.
My Daughter Is a New Driver and I’m Learning How to Let Go
Dear Daughter,
You’re gone all the time since you’ve gotten your license. You take your grandma’s old car and drive everywhere, all day, every day, until late into the night. You’re so busy and I’m proud that you are being so reliable about your responsibilities. You are growing up and building a life for yourself, and it’s an incredible thing to witness.
I’ll keep waiting at home for you, wondering how you’re doing and if you’re safe…
And I’ll hope that you always know I am here, loving you, believing in you, missing you, and wishing that time would slow down so I don’t have to let you go.
But at this stage of parenting, that’s what it’s all about. Letting go.
READ THE FULL LETTER HERE.
Dear Kids, Your Siblings Are a Gift For Life
I know it’s hard to get along. I know you two are as different as night and day and it seems right now, every tiny little itty-bitty thing each of you does irritates the other to no end. I know you have different interests and different goals, different mindsets and different personalities that don’t quite intersect without some push and pull to be had. I get that. I really do.
But here’s the thing: you are connected for life as siblings and that is a gift you will someday appreciate.
I know it doesn’t mean much to you now, but just wait until your older and you’ll see . . .
And for all the moms of teens out there who need a little encouragement too…
All the ups and downs and twists and turns can leave us all feeling frazzled and frayed, frantic and fatigued…
Let me remind you that you, dear mom, are not alone.
Dear Mom, You’re Not the Only One
Being a mom of a teen can feel lonely and isolating. We manage hard things as our kids grow older and face new challenges and difficult decisions every day.
It’s no easy ride for our teens as they try to figure out who they are and where they fit into this expanding world they are trying so hard to navigate.
We vacillate between wanting to take the wheel and steer it for them and letting go while anxiously watching them drive off on their own.
Our teens are under so much pressure these days and that often means we feel it too. They have so much to worry about, which means we worry too.
Our teens are so vulnerable to making careless decisions that might change the trajectory of their lives, and we are constantly hoping and praying they do the right thing.
There are countless choices they make on their own every day and letting them go out into the world is the scariest and most stressful thing we are forced to do.
We try as hard as we can to guide our teens through their struggles and help them manage life’s obstacles that sometimes lead them down roads we’d rather not travel, taking sharp turns we didn’t predict. Raising a teen is H.A.R.D.
It’s a lonely life parenting teens.
But remember there are other parents of teens out there just like you.
You’re not the only one.
READ THE FULL LETTER HERE.
Hugs,
I can’t believe you’re a mom of teens because I remember them being my kids’ ages! Or close to it, right?
I’m sitting here with the dad of a 13 and 15-year-old and we’ve been talking about the challenges.. and blessings.
I adore your words.
This is so beautiful, Chris! Thanks for sharing some of the letters. Your book sounds amazing for moms of teens. Wisdom that can be used over and over. Happy New Year, my friend.
What a year you’ve had! You’re amazing. I’m so honored to be able to call you a friend.
Just reading the titles of all your letters has me nodding – what common experiences we moms of teens have! It’s strange to think of you as a mom of teens, because when we met online your children were so young. Isn’t it funny how your own kids grow in front of your eyes, but you’re surprised when other people’s kids seem to grow up overnight?
I know your teens are on the path to being amazing adults just like their mama!
Christine, raising a teen IS hard, but our mother’s love covers all their painful or exciting growth, as you point out. I, too, have tried to tell my teens that a letter grade cannot possibly define all they are, all their gifts, or explain the great love God has for them, His totally unique child. I, too, worry about my teen’s safety when he’s driving all over town. It’s amazing that you’re sharing your wisdom and encouragement with other parents on many online sites. Congratulations on this ministry!
Oh, Hillary, thank you so much for coming by to check out these letters I’ve written. I love that you get it all and we are in the same season of parenting together!