My next friend is just such a fantastic, genuine and fun blogger!! Adrienne writes a variety of posts that are always worth taking the time to read. She uniquely calls her blog “The Mommy Mess”. And who can’t relate to THAT? Please welcome a dear friend of mine in the blogging world!!!
Hey there, I’m Adrienne. I’m honored to be over here today with Chris!
So, I’m an all boy mama. I have two sons, ages 14 and 8. They’re not cute little toddlers anymore and this big kid mom gig is a lot different than the good old days when I had them fooled. I actually have to work at making them like me now. Who knew?
I’m usually one to rant and rave about how I love being a mom of boys.
“Oh, Boys just love their mamas!”
“Oh, no. I’m glad I didn’t have girls!”
“Boys are just more fun!”
And while these quotes are (mostly) true, there are some days I’m left wondering how I will swim out from under the sea of testosterone I live in.
You see, I have three boys in my life. Two children and one husband, so that’s like 3 boys, right?
Sometimes, being the only girl is no fun!
So today, I thought I’d talk about all of the stuff that isn’t so wonderful about being a mom of boys.
1. The Potty Problem
Here’s the thing with boys. They pee everywhere! It’s my number one pet peeve in housekeeping, and one I’m afraid will never go away. My youngest likes to talk to me when he’s in the potty, which leads to lots of pee everywhere. I even have to take down the shower curtain weekly and wash it. Gross. I have to wipe the surrounding walls. Behind the toilet, to the left, to the right…it’s a never ending chore. I would have been fine if my kids just never potty trained and went off to college in diapers. Nobody ever told me how awful this potty problem was, so I’m telling you. You’re welcome.
2. The Bodily Function Problem
If there’s a hole and it makes noise, my boys will use it. For making noise. At the worst times. In the worst places. When I’m in the worst mood. What gives with farting and burping? It’s gross. Why is it so funny? I don’t get it either, Sister, but both are a big hit here. I mean my husband is 40! If someone farts or burps, even he laughs. It’s like I live with Beavis and Butthead except there’s three of them and they don’t wear AC/DC t-shirts.
3. The Gang Up on Mom Problem
Every now and then, like oh, I don’t’ know? Every night. The boys gang up on me. It starts to get late, the farting and burping become funnier, and mom becomes grumpier. This is when the testosterone is in full effect. It’s like they come out at night. The later the more annoying. You see, I’m with the boys all day. By the time my husband gets home, he’s ready to let loose and wrestle, be loud, fart, and be as equally annoying as my children. This makes my need for some peace and quiet hard to find. That’s when I hide on my bathroom with my laptop or go to Yoga.
4. The Volume Problem
Seriously, ya’ll. Boys are loud. And guess what? As they get older, they’re voice gets much deeper and they get more loud. Sometimes? It’s terrible to admit this…but the sound of my son’s voice just irritates me. It’s not his fault, it’s just so loud. I always feel bad because I’m irritated before he even has a chance to tell me what he wants to. I’m ready to run and hide at the mere sound of my name, “Mom!”. I know. I’m a terrible mother.
Secret: I wear earplugs when I have PMS. Something about PMS and volume just don’t mix. Thank God for my long hair covers them up. Shhhh. Don’t tell.
5. “The Talk” problem
Ok, this is a big one. I think there’s a double standard when it comes to raising our boys to stay pure. My husband and I are on different spiritual levels, but even my close friends who are married to Christian men say they struggle with this topic. Old school? Unrealistic? Call it what you want. I’m not planning on keeping condoms under the bathroom sink, and I don’t plan on being a grandma before my time. Luckily, we’re not quite there yet, but, I definitely think there’s a double standard when it comes to raising boys to be pure. That’s just not fair.
Are you an all boy mama? What’s been your biggest peeve?
All girls? Let’s hear it!
Adrienne is a homeschooling mother of two and blogger at www.themommymess.com, where she writes about the mess of motherhood, marriage, and all things mom! Her writing is always honest, sometimes sarcastic, and never perfect! You can also find her as @TheMommyMess on twitter.
As you both know, I am a Mama of two boys (two girls, though, too) and you nailed it here! Yes, Yes and Yes! The pee thing…OMG. #5 is a tough one here, too. So much of it is the double standard and I totally agree that PMS and volume do not go hand in hand and the bodily function/noise thing…a constant here. As a boy mama, I agree with all of this!
What is up with that double standard? It makes me mad. If they were girls, my husband would lock them in their rooms forever, but for boys? It’s unrealistic. WTH?
Oh, Adrienne – so honest yet so funny! I have one boy and 2 girls and I LOVE my boy, because he’s simple. He laughs at his own fart jokes and at 7, he will still do anything he can to put the work “butt” into a sentence. The volume is loud, so loud that it embarrasses his big sister – but for now, being able to do that is his superpower…and he needs one in a house full of women! Great post, girl!
Thank you, Illene! Boys are a lot of laughs, aren’t they?
Great perspective. Have 1 pre-teen (girl) myself. It is a whole new world. While it’s great that they are more conversational, I’m with you there are times when their voices can be less than pleasant (see, you are not the only “terrible mom out there;)
Haha! I feel so old when I’m constantly saying, “be quiet”, “shhhh”. But, man! Somedays I just can’t take it.
Thanks for having me, Chris!
My PLEASURE Adrienne!! 🙂
I’m a mamma of two boys too. Mine are still young but I’m seriously afraid of what my grocery bill is going to look like in a few years. I can see the handwriting on the wall. Not only are they starting to eat more at dinner but their friends come over and raid my pantry. Yikes!
Oh, the groceries are ridiculous. My oldest has just started eating me out of house and home, but that part? I sort of love!
Hahaha…I have two boys and a girl. My boys are 17 and 21 and guess what…they still horseplay! I’m sure you can imagine…lol! The bathroom thing…let’s just say I NEVER had any of those rug/toilet seat cover combination thingies…VERY FUTILE when you have boys! Thanks for reminding me why I LOVE my boys so much! Have a wonderful week! 😉
I have never wasted a dime on those things! They’d be stinky mess the second I brought them home. Cute little baskets filled with magazines on floor? NO WAY! Boys still rock, but man they can be annoying. Hee Hee
Oh I love Adrienne! I’m so glad to see you here! I have one boy and two girls, and yes, the one boy pees EVERYWHERE! I wondered how he did it until I saw him in action not too long ago (he’s only five, so that’s not too weird!) He stands there, looking up at the ceiling or off into space and just kinda jiggles around, pee going every which way. GROSS. But I will say, when it comes to noise levels, my girls are actually louder than my son. The girls scream. And cry more. And make me want to cry more! 😉 As for the talk, I know this will be a challenge for me when we get there. Like you, my hubs and I are on different spiritual planes and see this entirely differently. I hope that when the time comes, we can agree on how to approach the topic. blech.
I’m so glad you can relate the “talk” issue. It’s frustrating. Ultimately the boys will have the will to make their own choices, but it’s our job to lay a foundation for them. It’s important to me. I wish I had waited, but unfortunately, I didn’t. Sex was something that wasn’t even a problem in our home. I had four older sisters before me, all active, and birth control was something you went out and got when you started your cycle. Sad. But true. Sigh…
I’m the mom of two boys, 4 and 7. The burping and farting at the dining table is ridiculous! And why does it take 30 minutes for them to poop? Sounds like the older ones are just as bad – if not worse! – than the younger ones. This is why I’m drinking wine right now. 🙂
Yes! Wine is recommended! 😉
Hahaha! What a funny but true post. I have one boy. He is so fun and fun loving, but the potty free for all spraying, check. The bodily function noise-maker, check. The volume problem, check. Thank God I haven’t needed the talk nor the gang up on mommy. Great post!
Thanks God I’m not the only one!
This piece had me laughing out loud … oh, the joy of boys! Thank you for my morning smile. xo
Hey Michelle,
I am SO glad you laughed! 🙂
I have one of each and can relate to much of what you are saying with just 2 boys in my home. Needless to say there my sanctuary in my crowded quarters is often me, a closet and a family-sized bag of Peanut M&M’s
Oh, peanut M&Ms? Yes, please!