About ten years ago, I had one of those days… And I remember it like it was yesterday. Let me entertain you. I can laugh now, so you can too.
It was a humid suffocating heat, one late August afternoon, the kind of day you need to either be at the pool or in an air conditioned home. I decided to take my daughter to the zoo instead. Wading through the crowds in the stifling heat, was surely not my best idea for summer fun- but the zoo was our favorite place to be- my daughter loved the sights and sounds of all the magnificent animals and I marveled at her curiosity and excitement each and every time we went. We returned from a day in the smoldering sun traveling the trails of wildlife’s finest animal displays- all the while, inhaling the fumes of animal stench, soaking in the heavily weighted pungent air. It was grueling and wonderful- as most hot days at the zoo can only be… but well worth the exhaustion that it delivered just in time for her nap.
I was also nearly five months pregnant with my second child.
And sick as sick can come…
When we arrived home, I set up my daughter’s favorite Barney video to play, nestled her on the couch to inevitably grow weary in time for her mandatory afternoon nap. I taught music lessons every day while my daughter napped, so my first student would be arriving shortly and I needed to keep to the routine. The thirty minute video always settled her down, as I would spend that cherished free time getting ready for lessons.
I started my prep time by first slipping outside to our back deck to extinguish the burning flower pots with a good dose of hydration from the hose. Turning back to look through the sliding glass door as only a nervous mom does when she steps a few feet away from her toddler, I saw my girl walking toward the door smiling.
I waved to her as she stood by the glass door waving back. I thought, “Why did she get up? I thought she was exhausted! Crap.”
Then in a blink of an eye, I heard the dreaded sound…
“CLICK.”
I put the watering can down and ran to the door where she stood with a smurk only an adorable little two year old can pull off…
I started tapping on the glass and telling her to push the lock “UP!!! Click that back UP honey!!!!!” Desperately begging her to do as I say…
She giggled and ran away…
I was locked out of my house, in the scorching heat, hormonally high on adrenalin, sweating profusely on a scalding deck… completely and utterly FREAKED OUT.
“Come BACK!!!” I started pounding on the glass, looking into the house searching for any movement whatsoever that would tell me my girl is surely close by…”
Nothing.
I bolted around the house to try to find a way in… surely I left the front door unlocked in my pregnancy incompetence, yes? No. Windows? Every last one closed. I was now in a complete panic.
My two year old was locked in an empty house and I couldn’t get back in, and nobody was around to help me.
I ran back to the sliding glass door screaming for her to come. I was now officially losing any and all rational thinking, as delusional visions attacked my sanity forcing me to believe that my daughter had surely fallen down the stairs and cracked her head open lying in a pool of blood. Surely she had climbed into the stove which I probably left on last night, while cooking that chicken noodle casserole. No, she was stuck under a four hundred pound cabinet that fell on her precious little body, unable to escape the crushing blow.
I did what any hormonal, over heated, pregnant mama would do.
I grabbed hold of the handle to the sliding glass door, propped one trembling leg up on the wall of the house for support, and with a guttural roar…
I yanked that sucker out of the wall, tearing a gaping hole where the lock once held my baby captive in my home- the door’s lock now completely torn out of the frame, still attached and dangling off of the handle of the door.
I ran into the house frantically searching for my baby, screaming her name as the sweat dripped off my head and soaked my tank top. I couldn’t find her anywhere!! I went through every bedroom, downstairs to the basement and even into the laundry room and garage. She was nowhere to be found. I ran back up the stairs and as I rounded the corner of the living room, I peered over the couch and there she was…
Nestled deep in the cushion, sucking her thumb, sound asleep.
I gasped. Then cried. Then inhaled the deepest gulp of air, closed my eyes and hung my head, bent over while my hands landed on my knees as I exhaled sweet relief.
“Ding Dong.”
My first student was here.
“Well hello! Come on in! How are you doing today?” I cheered, trying to wipe the sweat off my forehead and pull myself together.
As I escorted this lovely girl into the house, she looked at my sweat-stained shirt and then at the gaping hole where the sliding glass door was once locked…
I walked over to the wreckage and managed to maneuver the door back in its place as best I could.
“Funny story…” I started. “But first let me carry this little bugger off to her crib before we get started.”
I picked up my sleeping baby, and walked her back to her room as I pondered the last 30 minutes of our life, and realized this one would surely go down in my history book of parenting. I then realized I would have some explaining to do with my husband when he got home from work.
*The following weekend, we installed a completely new sliding glass door, placing the lock way up high on the top of the frame… so no little hands could ever, EVER do that again.
Oh Chris, that story is hilarious! I can’t believe you had the strength to tear the sliding glass door off. I am sure it wasn’t funny at the time but what a memory!
It was TERRIFYING at the time… but now, pretty hilarious to tell and remember!!
Chris, this is is so something that could of happened to me with my girls and was reading this so thinking that. Seriously, what we mamas wouldn’t do to keep our babies safe. And by the way, you are truly an amazing and wonderful mom through and through 😉
This story is of of those stories that I will remember forEVER! I was just reminiscing about it with Derek last night when I told him I was posting it!
OH, this was a doozie of a day!
You pulled the door out of its frame?!?!? Woman, pregnancy gives you superhuman strength! What a booger little Cass was!
I remember being STUNNED I actually did it! I think the door frame’s lock must not have been as strong as we thought! Or perhaps I DID have superhuman strength… I felt a little bit like I just pulled a car off my kid. No, actually I felt like I wanted to pass out!
Mama Adrenalin rocks.
My first thought after reading this was “wow, you are one strong mama!” I mean that both physically as well as mentally. So glad it all worked out okay in the end. It’s amazing what our mama-induced adrenaline can do!!
Just a crazed lunatic mama Emily!!! I was DESPERATE!! And the door was obviously not held in by a strong enough frame… Thank GOD for that!!! We needed to replace it anyway, so we just shifted our ‘to do list’!!
You must have been so scared Chris. Today it sounds funny. But I am sure it was not at the time you were locked out. You’re little one is a funny bee. Good that she was safe on the couch! We are strong when we are facing such terrible situation. You amaze me Chris!
I was TERRIFIED!!! Now it’s one of my favorite stories to tell… just thankful it had a good ending! And quite hilarious to boot!
I love this story…from start to finish! My 2 year old booger locked herself in a bathroom full of chemicals years ago and after half the fire department came and got her out, she marched out naked and proud as a peacock and wouldn’t thank them when I asked her to. LOL LOVED reading this!
HA!!! I can just picture it Bonnie!! Oh those little boogers!!! This one is my all time favorite story… thank GOD it ended well! I could have used a nap afterwards though.. But put my ‘teaching hat’ on and went to work!! Sweaty, sick, and exhausted!!! 😉
Oh my gad!
What a story and what a great storyteller you are Chris!
Hope you are all well,
Amy
AMY!!! I LOVE that you came over to comment!!! YAY!! (I have been thinking about you SO much… haven been meaning to email to check in!!!)
Yeah- quite a tale, eh? GOh my gad is right!! Ha! Thanks for the encouragement dear friend! It means the WORLD to me!!
(When ya comin’ back? ;))
Wow, it is amazing the strength that pregnancy hormones + mama bear protectiveness can provide. I just have this image of you looking all pregnant and roaring as you pull off the lock in slow motion. I imagine how terribly NOT funny it was in the moment (for I have locked myself out of the house with a crawling baby “roaming” free and it is a terrible feeling), but in retrospect it does make you chuckle. I think it’s inevitable as parents that we do something like this at least once in our children’s lives!
I was SO sick, exhausted and weak… but not during those moments!! Oh no! Adrenalin does amazing things to a mama!! 😉
That is just hilarious (well, now it is, but I would’ve been right there with ya sweating and panicking)!
Thanks for a good laugh and for helping me remember the joys (and perils) of motherhood!
I was a HOT MESS Stacy!!! But it really is one of those stories I will continue to tell with a big belly laugh!! 🙂
Oh my goodness, Chris, you are SuperMama!! I would have given anything to be there so you didn’t have to annihilate the sliding door.
SO glad the sweet pea was overcome with sweet exhaustion by the time you broke into the house.
Squeezes to you, Mighty,
Dani
That day, apparently I indeed was something of a supernatural mama! Oh my gosh, it was crazy!! I wish you were right next door, Dani!! I wish you were right next door NOW too… <3
Oh boy – this is hilarious, mainly because it ended well. That little bugger asleep on the couch!
It really is hilarious now!! Back then? Notsomuch. Crazy what we do!!
yep – my darling son did this to us once. he was about 3 and his little sister was just under a year and busy crawling. As I peered through the big window in my front door, now locked — and glanced up the stairs – no baby gate secured, because I had just dashed for a moment to get the newspaper off the step. and there she was teetering and looking over the edge of the first step. and her brother standing behind her giggling like crazy. I mean, he thought it was a harmless prank- he didn’t intend any harm. but yes it is entirely possible for your heart to stop beating — and yet you keep living these horrible moments. thankfully, the brat…boy, had the presence of mind to pull his little sister back far enough from the stairs and then come unlock the door, grinning ear to ear.
briefly. 🙂
OH MY GOSH I WOULD HAVE FREAKED!!! Oh that is just sooooo crazy and terrifying and well, funny! Thank GOD your little guy pulled it together!! Oh dear… I would have just been a hot mess watching that!!
Welcome to my life. While this particular vignetter never happened to me, I can SO relate. Good on you to wrench that sucker open. I can only imagine the impression you made on the lovely student. Although, she was probably not surprised. Or maybe she’s dined out for years on it. “Let me tell you about the time my music teacher …”
Thank you for the laugh. It has put my day into perspective.
HA!!!! I do wonder what she *really* thought about the whole scenario! I am guessing, no one would be surprised who knew me! I’ve been a total goofball pretty much always… so there’s that. And I never was good at hiding my crazy from the kids! Actually- I think they enjoyed that. 🙂
You turned into a concerned Mommy Hulk! I can’t believe you were able to rip the door off. It’s a funny sight to think of now, but I can’t even imagine the terror you were feeling. My mind would immediately go to all the scary places yours did.
It’s amazing what strength, whether it’s emotional or physical, concern for our children will bring us. So glad all ended safe and well :)!
It really is incredible, the strength we can muster up in those urgent situations! I still can’t believe such a thing happened! It’s one of my favorite stories to tell the kids… 🙂
Hi Chris! Oh Lord, I would have been beside myself. You had to bust into your own house? And then deal with a student and act like everything was fine…Sigh. I think I would have been very hard pressed to pull that off.
Motherhood sure is a crazy ride, isn’t it? God bless your sense of humor!
Happy Mother’s Day my friend. You deserve that quiet nap time. And maybe a bottle of wine too!!
Ceil
I can’t believe I could pull off teaching too, Ceil!! I don’t know how I did it… but it just so ‘motherhood’… you look back and wonder how you do much of anything! Ya just DO. 🙂
I keep a window unlocked and a key hidden at the neighbors house because this has happened WAY too many times to count (i have 4 kids) and our doors are in way too sturdy to yank out. my best friends and my sister in law also have keys. You have my sympathies..just as soon as i quit laughing. Parenthood…its not for the weak!
HA! I can join you in laughing! And I love that you totally have major back up plans, Jessica! You are one smart mama! Yeah… we have a key hidden out back now. Why on EARTH we didn’t? Who knows… 🙂
Oh boy, yes, you certainly did entertain me! But how in the world did you pry the door open? Talk about super-human strength.
No clue how I did it… I used the house for leverage with my one leg… and all I can think is that those hormones have serious power!! Combined with adrenalin… and terror!! 🙂
Same thing happened to me once! My youngest locked me out when my other two were at school It was summer and so, so hot. I totally panicked for about 10 minutes – banging not he door, coaxing her to unlock it. Then, it dawned on me to try the front door. It was unlocked and I got in without have to damage, but if the front ha dbee locked, my next thought was to break the glass!!
YES!!! I would have broken the glass too, because back then I didn’t have a cell phone and no one was around in the middle of the day! SO glad the front door was open for you!! Whew!
That kind of strength can only come from a mom in mama bear mode. Wow you yanked it out of the wall? Go girl!! How much did that cost you. Christopher locked himself in the laundry when he was little. There wasn’t much he could do but it still scared me for a minute. But all the doors have those things where you can jimmy it open with the right tool. For all the jimmying I did, all needed to do was go outside put in the garage door code and come in to where he was. But you can’t think rationally in instances like that.
Yeah… ripped that lock out of the wall… I can’t remember how much it cost us. The door needed to be replaced, so there’s that. Whew! 😉
Oh Chris! So funny (and scary!). I can’t believe tired pregnant you ripped the door down. Awesome (and she! asleep on the couch!)
It was CRAZY!! I was sooo terrified!! That’s what adrenalin and hormones do… 🙂
GOODFRIKKINGRIEF!
Remind me not to mess with YOU, Muscles! Wow!
I hope that you tell Cass that story now, and embarrass her rotten for having locked you out and caused such a fracas, all the while being peacefully asleep 😉
Oh she knows the story VERY WELL!! LOL It was definitely the adrenalin that gave me that strength!! Or the hormones… or both. 🙂
How scary for you! My sister once got locked out like that when she took her daughter into the house and then dashed back out to the car for the groceries. She ended up having to call the police to help her get in!
Oh my!! That would have been my ‘next step’… if I could find someone with a phone!! 🙂
Does your little girl remember any of this? Perhaps for her it was just another wonderful summer day, except for the fuss that Mom and Dad made about replacing that back door? Glad that this story had a (reasonably) happy ending, and that you were able to conduct music lessons that afternoon. I can see why that day was so memorable for you!
She doesn’t remember a thing!! But my husband does… 🙂 It is definitely my all time crazy parenting story so far…
This was hilarious and really heart pounding at the same time. My youngest has locked me out of my house as well. It really is a scary feeling knowing they’re out of reach. I did not have the fortitude to rip open the door, but I did climb through the open kitchen window, landing in the sink.
HA!!! LOVE THAT Lisa!! Picturing that is just as funny as ripping open the sliding glass door! Oh, what we do… 🙂
I would have gone ballistic even without the pregnancy hormones – you probably could have rammed a hole right through your wall if you need to. Anything to save your child from all the terrible scenarios you envisioned. Asleep on the couch? Perfect. Kudos to you for not melting into hysterical giggles when you found her.
Oh, I was a freaking HOT MESS!! Literally, Dana! But it is one of my favorite stories to tell!! 🙂