Let me explain, because I really am not a name caller. I have shared many times about the MamaFreak within me…maybe you have that too? You know, all the different ways we totally freak out when we are protecting our babies? Well this is somewhat similar…
It’s the knee jerk moment, (hence called the “MomJerk” Moment) that impulsively and abruptly happens when our children do, say or experience something that makes us unravel down the slippery spiral slope of sudden stress. It’s that immediate reaction to something about our kids that is raw and real and has been learned along the way. It’s that ever-present doom that opens its mouth and gobbles us whole. We immediately run toward that cliff and jump off and crash into the never-ending wading waters of worry. Take a long swim and start to drown.
That MomJerk Moment, is what I am referring to.
Let me give you some of my very own examples…
As soon as I hear my daughter start to cough at night, I immediately go into a “MomJerk” moment with thoughts that spiral down, invade my mind and shake my soul:
“Here it comes. Oh dear Lord no… NO!! No. No. Oh I beg you God! I can’t do this again. I can’t see her suffer anymore! She will be sick for weeks and I can’t make it through more endless nights that will be horrific and painful and long. I know she won’t get better and then we will end up in the hospital and then there are the bills… we can’t afford any more bills!! And what surgery or procedure or medicine is next??? Oh, how in the world can she miss so much school!! She is gonna fail fourth grade and I am going to have to hold her back, and then she will totally rebel or sink into a deep depression and start cutting herself and run away. She will forever be scarred and never ever get over not passing fourth grade! I need to pull her from school now and just home school her. I have to find a curriculum NOW!! Oh dear Lord how I will I teach her anything without losing my MIND? I am doomed. We are doomed. She is DOOMED!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Kinda like that.
Anyone? Anyone have those “MomJerk” Moments? The ‘hold it together’ mom sustains herself fairly well, until the knee-jerk hits the fan! Walking just fine along the motherhood path and then BOOM! The MomJerk within hits!
Oh so many times I can’t count. Want a few more examples to better understand? Here’s a few more:
“Oh this day is too much for him! He has not stopped running all day again with his cousins. I know he is so excited to see them, but he is sooo overtired, what was I thinking? I should have napped him yesterday. If he misses his nap again, he will have horrible night terrors all night and then I will be up dealing with him and I can’t handle losing more sleep tonight! I just can’t! Maybe I should put him in the basement with me, no he won’t go for that. But I KNOW he will wake up screaming and crying and kicking around his cousins and I won’t hear him!! I will have to sleep upstairs on the couch. My back will be completely screwed up. Okay, I will just stay up all night. Yes, it’s easier to just stay up. I will be too anxious anyway, just waiting for the volcano to blow! I am totally going to run myself down and get sick, and we are ALWAYS sick for the holidays! He’s going to wake up everyone in the house and his poor cousins will freak out and get scared! Then he will probably get sick too, because he missed his nap for the fourth time and then his asthma will kick in. And then he will get his SISTER sick! No. No. NO! Oh Lord, I can’t handle this!!! He’s gonna be a MESS!!!! I’m gonna be a mess! His sister’s gonna be a mess! It’s all gonna BE. A. MESS!”
Or…
“Oh this is just great. She can’t even understand her math NOW!!! It’s the first week of school for God’s sake! If she can’t even get the review from last year, how on earth will she make it through fourth grade?? Oh Lord, she will never make it. I should have held her back. Now she will struggle all year long and I will have to pay for tutors to help her! We can’t afford that! She will be a mess and cry every time she does her homework and I don’t have the PATIENCE to help her through her work for THREE HOURS every night! This year will be a total NIGHTMARE!!!! Everyone will make fun of her at school because she is not getting anything in class. Then the evil bullies will start to hunt her down and eat her alive. Oh Lord, she can’t go through another horrible year! She can’t! Maybe I need to pull her now. Yes. I can’t take watching her fail again and again. And GOD forbid she gets sick this year! Then, well that’s it. I will just plain give up. I can’t give up! What will I do with her? A sick, uneducated child. What will become of her life?? No. No. NO!”
Do you have “MomJerk” Moments? What do yours look like? Would you share?
Wow! Yeah those “mom-jerk” moments are killer! You describe them so brilliantly. How many of those moments end up with a happy ending, filled with happy memories for them while us moms are left feeling absolutely spent (and silly for the now-realized ridiculous thoughts that we were having?) I wish I could say that I’ve sworn off mom-jerk moments for good but who am I kidding? Great post (as always!) Love the picture with movement – so fun!
Oh yes! MANY of those times it ends up being NOTHING!!! Oh the stress we mothers go through EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. I try so hard NOT to go “there”…but it’s like I said- a total natural Knee Jerk! It’s just in us. (Sigh)
Pretty much daily. Like all the time! I totally related to every single word of this. I do the instant spiral down ALL.THE.TIME. Great post! :)-Ashley
Oh I am sooooo GLAD I am not alone in this! Thanks so much for sharing that you do the same… I feel better knowing there are other MomJerks out there!! 😉
I have these moments all day long. All Gia has to do is throw the fit she does every single time I put her to bed and my mind goes to her doctor or school calling DCFS on me for all the bruises she has and by the end, I have myself in jail with my mother-in-law raising my kids.
That is HILARIOUS!!!! My favorite part about that nightmare is you in jail and your MIL in charge of your kids!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Oh dear friend, I WILL COME get your kids for you, so next MomJerk moment…add me to the end! 😉
LOL! Yep, all the time!
Hi! Stopping by from MBC. Great blog!
Have a nice day!
Thanks so much for stopping by Veronica!!! Glad to have another mom confirm the MomJerk within us all!!! 🙂 Very encouraging!
Oh, yes! I have gone from my daughter melting down in the morning to her being in jail as a pregnant teenage delinquent in less than 5 seconds flat
OR
8 seconds from my son crying over something his father has said to him to my son ending up being emotionally unstable and unable to maintain any real relationship in his adult years all because he feels rejected by his dad at the age of 11 due to the off handed-comment his dad made about my son’s new hat.
Hard to follow? Maybe, but it made sense in my head and seemed inevitable… for a moment…or two. 🙂
Oh those are GREAT ONES!!!! I am still laughing!! CLASSIC MOMJERK MOMENTS!!! 🙂 Love them and love you!! Thanks sooo much for sharing them…
I don’t think you can be a mama and not have these moments!! I go from molehill to Mt.Everest in 3.4 seconds at least once a week. I have to remind myself to take the ol’ deeeeeep breath.
Oh I love that!!! Molehill to Mt. Everest!!! Perfect description Amy! It’s so good to hear other mom’s do this too! Thanks sooo much for reading and commenting! 🙂
{Melinda} Oh my, you hit a nerve here! Sometimes I think my whole life since I became a mom is just one LOOOONG “MomJerk” moment! My son has cystic fibrosis so I totally relate to that terrible feeling when you hear the coughing. My mind spirals, too!
Trying to turn those worries into prayers. It refocuses my mind and calms me and reminds me Who is really in control. And it’s not me. Thank you, Jesus! 🙂
P.S. So glad we connected — love your place here. 🙂
Oh yes, that is the key to our MomJerk moments! If only it were just so easy to immediately give it to God! Sometimes I battle it out with him for quite some time… 🙂 Thanks so much for taking time to visit! I hope you get a chance to read some more!!!
I have many of them. Most are small – like when my 1 year old (who isn’t walking yet) grabs onto a moving toy and walks along with it. I’m just picturing her falling on her face and crushing her nose, so I follow her with my arms out ready to catch her. I dont want to stop her because she’s having so much fun and practising her walking, but it kills me.
Oh yes! I remember those days following my little ones with my arms out open ready to catch them when they fall, afraid of every little bit of hurt!! I was such a crazy over protective mom… nervous at the thought of something happening! My favorite “bad mom moment” was when my little guy was at the park and I looked away for ONE MINUTE and then found him sucking on something…it was AN OLD CIGARETTE BUTT he picked up out of the dirt!!! AAHHHHHH! That just confirmed my need to be insane about protecting them! 🙂
I know what you mean. My moments are not always leading 20 years down the road; sometimes I go to the idea of the whole day going rotten after one comment (in the certain voice). But the day can always turn around…well, maybe not always but sometimes at the very least.
Yes! Sometimes, all the energy wasted worrying about things isn’t even close to what actually happens. Oh those moments with one slight “tone” or sigh…that always pinches a nerve for me that can certainly taint my day! Thanks so much for reading and commenting Angi!
Been there, done that.
Well it’s wonderful to have another “MomJerk” friend!!! 😉 Thanks so much for reading and commenting Andrea!!!
Yep, this is me to a T! I love the name you gave this over-analysing, over worrying state. I will have to use it when my husband tells me I am being ridiculous. “Leave me alone, I am just having a Momjerk moment!”. 😉
HA! Love that!!! I think it’s a woman thing… cause my hubby will do the same thing! Oh us ladies, we have and hold all the worries don’t we? I’m glad you like the name! Please use it freely with any “momjerk” moment you have!!! 😉 Thanks so much for reading Kim!!!
Ugh, yeah! I like to think that I’ve attained a measure of cool, collected calm now that my kids are teenagers. But then the old nightmare of “will my kids get into college, will they be happy adults, what did I do to totally mess them up” rears its ugly head. Sadly, I don’t think we parents ever get over the momjerks.
I have wondered how moms with teens must feel with probably much BIGGER life issues to MomJerk about!! Yes, I know I will be there someday! We moms will ALWAYS have them…it’s just what we do! 😉 Thanks so much for visiting me!!
I met a woman who for decades (her children are grown) always gets dressed and showered every early morning before kids wake up, before the day begins not because she is just a generally ambitious or person of exquisite hygiene, but because then she knows she will be ready when ‘it’ happens, or ‘the call’ comes. How’s that for being prepared for her MomJerk moments! Man, I thought I lived with that anxiety all the time, my stomach still drops every time one of my children yells during play because I’m just sure someone is unconscious or gushing blood. But I am often wearing no bra, yesterday’s clothes, and unshowered so maybe I’m more at peace than I realize! Or maybe just really lazy and unclean….hmmmm, things to ponder. 🙂
OH MY GOSH! First of all – wow to the woman who got up every morning to prepare herself for the worst. LOL And a impressive WOW to you for NOT getting up in the morning to prepare yourself for the worst!!! LOL I must be as “relaxed” as you…actually I am MUCH more relaxed if we are measuring our “non-worry” hygiene and clothing articles! I trump you every day! OH- if only being prepared really meant dressed and ready to go… don’t. think. so. Need I explain this? na…
Dad-jerk (is that an oxymoron?) moments are just as potent. We even pace around like Richard Lewis (remember him?) My youngest suffered a dislocated finger early in a soccer match. I immediately thought she’d be done for the day, for the tournament, and might not ever want to play again. I blamed myself for her playing that position at that time, blamed the other team for rough play, blamed the officials for not calling anything (there was nothing wrong done on the play, by the way, and the girl who stepped on her hand checked on her at least three times afterward), and even blamed the field conditions, the food and drug administration, the Royal Air Force of Great Britain and UNICEF.
Two minutes after getting taped up, the kid wanted to go back in.
Dad jerk, indeed.
HA!!! I just LOVE that you have “Dad-herk” moments too!!!! What a great comment!! I could just picture your girl getting right back in the game, and you going to yourself, “uh…nevermind.” SO relieved to know dads have those lovely moments too! Thanks so much for reading and sharing!
Yes, I have those momjerks everyday! Will her feet be okay and her teeth ok and her sinus headaches and her back get perfectly fine and that he stay okay with her and she with him and the little ones not have any asthma attacks or serious illness and not fall off their bikes. A momjerk for me is all about “a phone call”. . .and let us not forget “the text”. . .
Will she be okay all alone in the winter months…will she be okay alone? Will she fall again and hurt herself even worse!? Will she need someone to help her and will someone be there for her? Will she get sick and need more antibiotics? Oh Lord I pray she doesn’t go “there”… Will she be okay all alone at night, is she in too much pain? No more hospital visits God please keep her from getting sick! Can she travel okay oh I worry so… should she stay at home, did she make it safely here or there. Goes both ways. 😉