Mediocrity is messy.
I live in it, I know.
It messes with your mind.
It messes with your perspective.
It messes with your heart.
It messes with your faith.
It messes with your dreams.
It messes with everything.
I’ve spent my life striving to get out of this mess, but it seems I land right back in it.
I’ve climbed up the walls of mediocrity with the breath of hope-filled dreams, only to slide right back down into that dreaded mess over and over again. I have fought hard to earn the dream of excellence, to receive the praise of worthiness, and to feel the power of extraordinary…
Only to forfeit the fight with ordinary, average, good- but not great.
As I get older, I’ve learned it really doesn’t go away… That hope of becoming more than who I am. As I grow older, I am reminded quite regularly that I am just that- middle of the road nothing far from fairly good at mostly everything. Every aspect of my identity has been tested for that high bar, and I always fall short.
The history goes way back.
I landed in the middle as your average student, musician, dancer, employee, wife, mom, daughter, sister, writer, friend, Christian, teacher, youth leader, and any other label I’ve worn in my life. Some days, I’m perfectly at peace with living in this place. Other days it stings.
I’ve learned to navigate my life through it and in doing so, I’ve learned a valuable truth:
I may be ordinary, but I have experienced some extraordinary moments.
Those are what I live for, and I want to teach my kids how to reach for them more than the spotlight.
My daughter recently had her swim banquet celebrating the end of the season, as awards and medals and trophies were given to those valuable team members who earned such praise. My girl made the final championship meet, where she placed 10th, 11th, and 15th…
This was, of course, extraordinary to her mom, but surely not to her.
While many of her swimming buddies were running around with medals weighing down their necks, she approached me with her compensating ribbons stating her disappointment and defeat. I knew this was incredibly difficult for her after she worked so hard and hoped above all hope to get a medal.
I am familiar with that face… it broke my heart to see it on her.
And despite my arms wrapped around her with words of praise and encouragement, she will slip down those walls into the mess too. She will have to grapple with this mediocrity and sort it out on her own, as she is old enough to realize her mom’s love doesn’t change things- it’s only a comfort to her fall.
We are your average folk over here. We don’t dwell on the top of the mountain; we are usually camped about halfway up. And despite it being a bit rocky at times, I think we manage pretty well. It took a lot of hard work to get this far, so I’ll take it.
I believe the majority of people live in this place…
But here’s the thing-
In the middle of the mountain, we can experience mountaintop moments.
I can safely say that I have had a multitude of extraordinary moments in my life. Sometimes I reflect on them and smile with both pride and gratitude. Those were my finest moments… the ones where I was nothing near mediocre, but perhaps close to being pretty damn exceptional. When those moments come…
That’s the sweet spot of life.
My greatest victories didn’t earn medals or awards- but they earned a ton of praise and affirmation from the two I needed to hear it most. Me and my God.
I have felt much like a champion, in many circumstances in my life that offered moments of extraordinary choices:
I triumphed when I was tested.
I forgave when I could have fought.
I acted in humility instead of pride.
I found strength where I thought I had none.
I chose to give more and take less, instead of give less and take more.
And truth be told, there were those desperate days I just got myself out of bed and felt pretty damn victorious.
I want my kids to have this kind of vision too…
I want them to look for the moments when they excelled at something that was far beyond their reach.
I want them to have a true understanding that accomplishments and talent stretch deep and wide within who they are and that winning a game, getting that trophy, or earning that award isn’t the only significant achievement they can hold with integrity.
I want them to be most proud of those moments when they made a decision to live much higher than the bar was held. There will surely be many opportunities for them to discern greatness in the throes of pain, pressure, testing, compassion, serving, sacrificing, loving, forgiving, exhaustion, doubt, grief, sickness, relationships, jobs, disappointments, failures, and conflicts.
Sure, it’d be nice to be an exceptional swimmer, soccer star, entrepreneur, and writer amongst our family…
But really?
I believe we can capture moments of excellence, where we shine much brighter than any medal or trophy out there. That kind of light lasts a lot longer too. I know. I still remember some of those moments I handled with greatness over 30 years ago. And guess what? I was an excellent swimmer when I was a kid. I DID earn those trophies and medals.
I can’t for the life of me remember one of them now…
They are all gone, along with my swimming abilities.
But my mountaintop moments?
They’ll be remembered forever.
Mountaintop moments in the middle of the mountain.
That’s exactly it and exactly what I want my daughter to understand is the real medal.
Loved this.
YES!! Exactly. 🙂 Thanks so much, my friend.
Aw, beautiful Chris and can definitely say I hope so much for this, as well for my own girls, too! 😉
We ALL have extraordinary moments, don’t we? Here’s to THOSE!! 🙂
Yes, yes, yes!
As a middle-age average person myself, I draw inspiration over and over again from Corrie Ten Boom who didn’t survive WWII and become a tramp for the Lord until her 50s and beyond. I’m not saying we’ll be great in our 50s and beyond…but who knows the Lord’s plans for us! 😉
Oooh… Katy! I want to go read more about her now! I just love that story already. Who knows the Lord’s plan for us? It’s exciting to know whatever it is, we can bet it will be perfect either way. 🙂
So pretty. I’m always striving to be better. I have to slow down and enjoy how perfect everything is now. Thanks for the reminder.
It’s so easy to sail through our days of mediocrity, isn’t it? But in those days are extraordinary moments. It’s SO important to capture them!
This resonates with many, I am sure. Including me, of course. I was an aspiring singer when I was younger and earned many accolades for my God-given gift. I still sing, at church, but the praise and “awards” are no longer there. Now I struggle with mediocrity in both my writing and photography. I may never rise to the top but I will cherish those moments in the middle of the mountain. Thank you for this Christine. It’s lovely and true…
Oh Elaine… I loved your response to this post! You KNOW I can relate, my friend. We can cherish our moments in the middle of the mountain- and celebrate how extraordinary they really are. 🙂
Too beautiful, Christine. I needed this today. I’m right in the middle of that mess. I don’t think I’ll ever get out. It was a rough weekend of mediocrity, too, where everyone around me got to see it in me. Sometimes I think God wants others to see me in all my embarrassing weakness, so that they can know without a doubt that the grace of God makes the difference. It’s the grace by which we stand in our excellence, failure and mediocrity.
God’s grace is ALWAYS extraordinary, isn’t it Hillary? And when it transcends through us? Mountain-top moment indeed! Lets embrace that, shall we? 🙂
I’m like Elaine – I struggle with my writing and photography.
I also struggle with my looks. We’re such a go big or go home family, that I often wonder what will happen for the kids.
I think you offer your kids many mountain-top moments in the ‘go home’ more than the ‘go big’ Tamara….
Think about it. Those precious extraordinary moments usually sneak in then. 🙂
I’ve been drowning in my own mediocrity lately. I needed this tonight. Thank you!
I drown too, my friend. Lets keep capturing the extraordinary moments, while living on the middle of the mountain okay? 🙂
I was just thinking about this and how i would write about this without sounding ……..? you did it beautifully. sharing
Do you know I have been wanting to write about it, but I was feeling the same thing!! It’s not really ‘acceptable’ to call ourselves and our children ‘mediocre’. But I was hit with it so hard after the awards banquet, I felt compelled to address it.
It’s truth. So I’m so glad you think I wrote it well, Laurie. 🙂
I agree with all of this. I have always felt right there in the average middle. I still dream of bursting out into greatness!!
Me too, Nicole! Me too. 🙂
Cool post and something I needed today as I was in the crazy trenches of motherhood, aka total grocery store meltdowns. 🙂 Thanks
Been THERE Natasha! Been there. 🙂
How wonderful this is, Chris. Especially this: “I may be ordinary, but I have experienced some extraordinary moments.” Wow! We are pretty ordinary over here too. Those extraordinary moments really catapult us though. Thank God for every last one of them. Thanks for your always beautiful and much needed encouragement, my friend!
Those extraordinary moments are truly the gold nuggets of life, aren’t they? I thank God for every last one of them too!!
Beautiful
Enlightening.
you know what, Chris?
I don’t believe in mediocrity, ordinary, common, simple…..
All of those small things can be
ABUNDANTLY extraordinary and life changing.
xxxx kiss from MN
Honestly, I don’t really either. But the world does… and it tells us over and over again about it. So as I see it, the world can tell us what it wants, but we can measure our worth in our own extraordinary ways- through those mountaintop moments of the BEST we can be. 🙂
I think when we notice those small moments in our lives — really honour them, they become far greater than the big dreams of greatness that we might pursue. Really, “greatness” is just an idea, and a rather subjective one as you noticed in being proud of your daughter, while she was sad and discouraged. But what was great, is the foundation laid between mother and daughter in sharing that present moment. THAT was extraordinary. 🙂
Love that, Leslie. You are so right. Our profound moments are truly the measure of greatness in our lives- not those big trophy highlights. Thank you for that, my friend. Your words are always so encouraging to read!!
Mediocrity is tough to battle with because somehow it is comfortable that you don’t want to leave it. I know, I’ve been battling it for as long as I can remember too!
I admire your resilience girl. Take it easy. 🙂
Thanks lux! There is this fine line between dreaming of those mountaintop moments and accepting that camped in the middle is pretty darn good. It’s always a difficult line to walk on…
love this post. I can so relate to being average, but I think God must have made me this way for a reason. Maybe if I was more talented I would be super big headed and arrogant!
Also you never know, you may yet discover a talent you never knew you had!
I think about things like that too, Ally! I truly believe that there is a reason for everything and surely God’s intentions with my life are one to care for and protect and nourish who I am and fuel His Purpose. I’m guessing if I made it ‘BIG’ I would have tripped off His Path… I trust we are all right where He needs us to be. 🙂
Wow!! This really says it all. Thank you so much for this post, Chris. It really cuts to the heart of where I am right now, where the mountain seems to be miles and MILES away.
I’m glad you were able to relate to this post, Gina! And I do hope you can celebrate some mountain top moments right there in the middle. 🙂
Oh, my goodness! “As I inch closer to 50, I’ve learned it really doesn’t go away… That hope of becoming more than who I am. ” — thank you for this. This reached something inside me that so needed to hear this. A little girl still striving! I can relate to you and your daughter! You are so right that our kids have to grapple with this just like we do. I live in an academically and athletically highly competitive town, and I have to constantly remind myself of this.
Just beautiful! Thank you for these amazing reminders of true excellence:
“I triumphed when I was tested.
I forgave when I could have fought.
I acted in humility instead of pride.
I found strength where I thought I had none.
I chose to give more and take less, instead of give less and take more.”
Love you, Lady!
I love you Bonnalade. 🙂 And your response to this post was SUCH a blessing to me- to know that we both strive and struggle and camp out in the same place- but always strive for those extraordinary moments. Oh yes… and when we can grasp them? Sheer greatness indeed. May we truly celebrate them all. <3
learning after all these years that the everyday normal life is pretty cool 😀
It is, Andi. It truly is- especially when we truly grasp those extraordinary moments in our ordinary day.
Those mountaintop moments are priceless, but I think you have to be very self-aware to recognize them. I also hope to teach my kids about those moments. They are to be celebrated, for sure.
I know you have surely been having many of those mountain top moments in your life, Jennifer!! I celebrate them all with you, my friend. You keep recognizing your own greatness, okay? 🙂
Chris, you have no idea how much this post means to me!!! I kinda lied you know. I said I wasn’t blogging much because I was busy. Well, I was and I still am but come on, no blogger will not find a way to blog! I haven’t been blogging much because I felt too average as a blogger. Everybody I know are thriving and coming up with all these beautiful words and I can’t. Everybody was writing books and here I am still Googling how to spell words!!! I forgot that I started my blog to celebrate ME. The average wife, writer, mom. Because no matter how ordinary one can be, as long as we are able to make one person smile, happy and feel loved, we are doing something extraordinary.
THANK YOU for the reminder!!!
xoxo
YAY!!! Oh Jhanis I am SO glad you read this!! Girl, you just don’t know how truly extra-ordinary you are! You don’t. Seriously. YOU are such a unique and gifted writer- I have yet to find anyone who writes like YOU!! CELEBRATE THAT. You are exceptional, being YOU. And I have yet to read any of your posts and not be moved or shaking with laughter… and I’m guessing many feel the same way.
Above all- I totally understand the mediocrity and discouragement in a sea of such ‘greatness’. I do oh I do I do I do…
But there is no one like you. No one like me. No one like us. So carry on, my friend. Dig deep, and keep going… keep being you.
Oh my goodness, yes! It’s so easy not get caught up in the feelings that you suck when really you are just ordinary, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. “I believe we can capture moments of excellence, where we shine much brighter than any medal or trophy out there.” This line really spoke to me. I think we all have our moments to shine, even if it’s for a moment, and it’s remembering to capture and remember those moments. I would rather have my moments of awesomeness than always having to fight to stay on top. The lessons that you are teaching your kids are exactly what I want to teach Eve.
Oh Bev, I just loved your comment! Such a beautiful response, my friend. I love that we feel the same way about this topic!
“I would rather have my moments of awesomeness than always having to fight to stay on top.” <--- I never thought of it that way. I love that insight.