Today I am deeply honored to be sharing an incredibly powerful story that my precious friend experienced, in which she believes God’s Angels saved her and God’s love lifted her heart out of doubt and into belief. Denise reached out to me after reading my post about Cassidy’s claim to see angels. She told me that she has quite a story that can beat that one! I couldn’t wait to read it, and she blessedly wanted to share it here. Friends, Denise is sharing a part of her life that is as raw and real as humanity gets. Her testimony is personal and powerful, and I am confident it was meant to be read by people who have experienced the same depths of darkness that she had endured. I am convinced that God will make himself known to all who seek him with an open yearning heart, whether drowning in despair or begging for purpose and meaning in things of this world and beyond. God is all about hearts, and saving them. Here is one heart saved…
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Every time I move, I carefully wrap up each of the angels I’ve collected over the years in newspaper. My angel collection started in the late 90s, and most of the angels I’ve accumulated are ornaments for my tree each and every Christmas. My collection was never accidental. It didn’t start because someone gave me an angel, and I decided I needed to get more. No. I started collecting them deliberately. Each angel represents my belief that angels are real. To me, they illustrate God’s light, love, and His miraculous nature.
You see, I not only believe in angels, but I’m also sure angels saved my life. They helped my faith journey change from one of confusion to one of clarity. As a girl growing up, my mom took my sister and I to church every Sunday. She was raised Southern Baptist and that’s how she chose to raise us. I believed that God was real. I remember being 7 years old when angels visited me at church one day. They told me that I was special, and God loved me. The experience, the images, happened in my head. As I grew up I naturally questioned their reality. Perhaps I just wanted to see angels, and I imagined them.
By the time I turned 12, I questioned everything. One day at school, I heard some other students in my class having a discussion about God. Another girl in my class chimed in with the comment, “There is no such thing as God.” I was shocked. How could she say that? So, I said, “Of course God exists.” She responded by asking if I could prove it. I couldn’t. As I mulled over what she said, I found I couldn’t prove it. Perhaps she was right.
When I got home, I declared to my mom that God didn’t exist. I’m sure this news hit my faith-filled mother in the gut, like a hard punch. She didn’t lose a step, though. She asked why I thought this. I told her my revelation, “You can’t prove He exists. Science explains it all.” My mom took this in and quietly responded, “Can you prove He doesn’t exist?” I couldn’t respond, because I couldn’t prove God’s existence either way.
At that point, I became agnostic. My mom then told me to talk over my questions and feelings with my dad. It was then that I learned that he was agnostic, too. He had searched for answers nearly his whole life.
And although I had my reservations about God, my mom made me go to church every Sunday; this time at the Presbyterian church we recently joined. I didn’t believe all that was said, but I listened anyway. It was all possible. Then, once in high school, I got involved with the Senior Youth Group for four years. Even though I went to church and participated in the youth group, I remained agnostic.
Despite not being sure of God’s existence, I begged for His help several years later, at the age of 24, as I stood on a balcony’s edge. I said a prayer, “God, if you do exist, please help me! I need your help.” Moments later, I stepped off that balcony and fell 11 stories to what I presumed was my death. I don’t recall seeing any trees below me before I stepped off, but falling through a tree is what saved my life. To this day, I’m convinced that God heard me and sent His angels to save me. They made sure I fell through that tree so that I could live today.
As my body started healing from the trauma, doctors told me that I was a living miracle. They had never expected me to live even as they fought for my life. Then, one day as I looked around my hospital room, I noticed the cards and balloons friends and family sent me. For the first time, in a long time, I felt loved. As I took everything in, I realized, in my heart, that God did exist. He saved my life. He and His angels performed miracles to keep me alive. My need to collect angels commenced in that moment, and my faith in God has not faltered since that day in 1996.
I’ve amassed many angels since that day. Most are packed away in a box until my toddlers get older and less likely to destroy them. Each time I hold an angel or look at one, I’m reminded of how far I’ve come in my faith.
I’m also reminded that God performs miracles. After all, He and His angels saved me.
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Denise is a 40+ year old stay-at-home mom trying to navigate the world of motherhood. She blogs about parenting, food, and life as she sees it at Adventures of a Jayhawk Mommy (http://jayhawkmommy.com). She enjoys solving mysteries (Okay..reading mysteries or watching them on TV), cooking, and drinking way too much caffeine than she should. Basically, anything she needs to do to survive the toddler years. You can follow Denise on Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/jayhawkmommy) and Twitter (http://twitter.com/jayhawkmommy). 
*waves hello* Denise I just read that story the other day, and now this 🙂
I’m so glad you wrote it out and shared it. Hearing this in more depth is brilliant, so thank you.
I definitely believe in angels. I also believe God gives us other people to help us get through things. In fact, I think He probably works in more ways than we can ever imagine to try to keep us afloat, and cogniscent of Him 🙂
*waves back* Thanks, Lizzi! I do believe angels are around us all the time and truly believe in guardian angels now.
Beautiful story! I believe we all go through times in our lives when we question God’s existence. I actually think going through the doubts is what makes us stronger in our beliefs. It is hard however, once we know, often through some trial that angels have carried us through, to have our kids then start questioning His existence. This year we had a miracle in our family where my husband’s life was saved… But it is also the year our oldest decided God doesn’t exist. Strange. The angels carried my husband and I through our trial; and our oldest turned the other way. It’s his turn now to do the searching and I hope to one day feel the angels wrap their arms around him. I’m so glad that you were saved and found the love you were looking for.
Thank you, Leah! I’m sure it must be hard on the other side of it. I know it wasn’t easy on my mom when I declared I didn’t believe. My mom never lost faith in me, though. My dad still struggles and remains agnostic, but I believe he’s getting closer every day.
Thank you for sharing this here today and does sound like God in his own showed and proved to you that he does not only exist but his love for you, too. I was raised Roman Catholic and also very much do believe in angels. I honestly don’t have just one defining moment but nonetheless do have a few moments over the years that has reaffirmed my belief.
Janine–I’ve had lots of small moments since then. In fact, a couple of years later I had a moment where I really felt and God and Jesus at a Koinonia retreat. Soon after, I decided to convert to Catholicism and was baptized and confirmed into the Catholic Church in April 2000.
WOW! What a powerful story. So glad you are OK. Sometimes life plays out in ways we don’t expect, doesn’t it?
Boy, isn’t that the truth! 🙂 Thanks so much!
What a beautiful story! Thank you for sharing this experience.
Thank you! 🙂
WOW. What a scary and ultimately beautiful experience. So glad you are ok.
I’m a bit agnostic. Jewish by birth – raising kids as both Jewish and Christian, trying to figure stuff out.
I don’t know what I believe, but I do believe in something.
All I can suggest is to keep searching for answers. You may never find them, but it doesn’t help to keep learning. 🙂
What a beautiful story and witness to God’s hand in our lives. I found myself in tears reading this. Just the thought of the many people in the place that you were in – not knowing what to believe in; not knowing if there is a God that loves them – breaks my heart. Thank you for sharing this! I will pray for your family each time I think of you.
Thank you so much!
I’m glad that God heard you that day on the balcony!!!
I grew up like you – in a Southern Baptist Church. If there was anything going on we were there. Over the years there have been several things that have left me unhappy with so much about organized religion. I still very much believe in God and we have taught our boys about God but we aren’t any specific religion.
Part of what held me back from God was organized religion. Seriously. Everyone claimed their God was the right one and only one. I got frustrated. What was I to believe? So, when I accepted Jesus, a couple years later, I sought out a church that held the beliefs I held, one that saw God in the manner I saw Him. I do understand not belonging to a faith though. 🙂
Thank you for sharing this. I definitely believe in God, and in angels. But as for the rest, I am in a period of many questions right now. This story gave me help and was well timed. Glad you are a liliving miracle. Clearly God has big plans for you.
Thanks, Alexa! It took me a couple more years later to believe in the rest. There is nothing wrong with questions. 🙂
Wow! I do believe in angels. I also know that when I’ve hit my lowest points and asked God for guidance, He has been there and has shown me in ways I am so very thankful for. Glad you are here to tell your story!
Thank you!
Hi Denise! What an amazing story! Well, it’s not a story really, it’s your life. It always is fascinating how we come to faith as adults. I can ‘t imagine the depth of your pain standing out on that ledge. You will probable remember that moment, as well as your deliverance, as long as you live.
Thank you for sharing with all of us your journey. i am so grateful that you have a place to tell it! It’s such a powerful witness to the love God has for you, and always did. Bless you for the faith you have shared today.
Ceil
Thanks for your kind comments, Ceil.
a powerful testimony – so glad you shared.
I think so often we deny the miracles all around us — or, we give the credit to someone else.
Which is odd, since it seems everyone wants proof that God is real and moves in our lives.
I’m sure that some will think I’m delusional to think Angels saved me and God had a hand. What convinced me the most was one particular doctor who looked at me and said that he didn’t know how I managed to live. They were convinced I wouldn’t. He said I was a miracle.
Beautiful story and so heartening! I am glad you were saved and wonder what great things you have been up to in your life since!
Thanks for your kind comment, Jodi! Life has changed a lot for me. I do have a blog (which you can link to by clicking my name) that chronicles my life now. It took a long time for me to heal fully, physically and mentally. Now I’m married with 2 little girls and a baby on the way.
Wow!!!! What a story and testimony! Never heard anything like it! On some level I sense your deeper faith when you stepped from the balcony..
It’s an incredible story, isn’t it Kathy? I’m just so glad she lived to tell about it.