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This Is What Your Digital Kids Really Need—It’s NOT What You Think

May 6, 2017 By momcafe 26 Comments

Do you have a tween or teen digital kid, engaging on Snapchat, Instagram, or any other social media network? Maybe you have a grade school kid just itching to get a phone. If so, you need to read this post and learn about an incredible educational opportunity in parenting our kids in the online world. My dear friend, Galit Breen, offers expert advice and guidance in helping us parents manage our kids’ online activity- something we ALL need to learn. It’s terrifying territory to let our kids be in, isn’t it? I worry all the time about my own kids and this unending landscape they tap into on their phones or ipods. If you feel the same way, Galit is your girl! Please read her important story about what could easily happen to our kids, and then check out what she has to offer! I’m honored to support her work in helping us all keep up with our kids’ online use in the ever-changing and evolving digital world…

Digital Kids Parenting Kids On Social Media

What our digital kids need from us is to talk to them directly and honestly about HOW they can be safe and kind online users. At the end of this post, I have a really thorough checklist for you about just that! CLICK HERE to get that checklist and begin keeping up with your kids’ online use today!

Can we talk for a second about the worst day of my (tween parenting) life?

Because … it was bad. Really bad.

In a nutshell, my daughter’s 6th grade teacher was Snapchatting inappropriately with a student. The day I learned about this, our family had just returned from a coveted January vacation.

*Getting out of the bone-chilling cold mid-winter in Minnesota is seriously underrated. I’m convinced that everyone who didn’t tell me about this the first 10 years I lived here was holding out on me. Big time.

Anyway, when we got home, my daughter’s Math teacher was suddenly … gone. Replaced by a long-term sub. “Where in the world did the Math teacher go?” became our family’s version of, “Where in the world is Carmen San Diego?”

Until that morning, as I was doing the get-out-the-door shuffle with my kids—serve breakfast, clear the dishwasher, pack the lunches, empathize that the library books went missing again—my husband texted me this: I know what happened to the Math teacher.

He had found a revealing article in the local paper and texted me the gross summary.

And there I was facing all three of my kids and just about the very last thing that I wanted to tell them was that there are grownups in this world who would send messages like that to children.

The day I realized that my kids could experience something vile like this, that they were far from invincible, was just … the worst.

Now listen up, because this is important: the reason that this specific girl ended up okay—and NOT a sad statistic—was not because her parents kept her off line until a certain age—they did do that and all of this still happened. It was because they talked to her about these kinds of things before they ever needed to.

#LessonLearned

This is SO important!

Doing things right is one thing—it’s quite another to do things in the right order.

That’s why I made THIS CHECKLIST for you: because this is what your digital kids really need from you.

As you read through it, I want you to pay close attention to WHAT NEEDS TO HAPPEN FIRST—before cell phone contracts and monitoring apps and systems that shut off the Internet at a certain time of night.

Because if the parents of the girl I told you about hadn’t done this all so PERFECTLY, her story would have ended very, very differently. They saved themselves and her a TON of heartache by doing this ONE thing. And I don’t want YOU to go through the same super-scary things we read about happening to kids online every single day.

Curious about what you’re going to learn in this checklist?

We’re going to hammer out:

  • The ONE thing that the safest and wisest kids ALL have in common. (Yes, all of them!)
  • The LOW TECH solution to the HIGH TECH problems that your kids face. (They face these things Every. Single. Day. We can’t ignore that!)
  • The surprising thing that even the most well-meaning and loving parents do that SABOTAGES their kids’ safety. (Don’t ignore this. It’s too important.)

 

So—what are you waiting for? Download the checklist and get ahead of this learning curve right now!

 

Galit Breen is the author of Kindness Wins, a simple, no-nonsense guide to teaching your kids how to be kind online; the TEDx Talk, “Raising a digital kid without having been one”; the online courses Boom, Done Digital Parenting™ and Raise Your Digital Kid™; and the Facebook group The Savvy Parents Club. She blogs about raising digital kids at TheseLittleWaves.net and you can get her parents’ guide to their new(ish) digital kid RIGHT HERE. 

I am an affiliate member of Galit’s amazing work, because I believe in her heart, her knowledge, and her investment in helping us parents make sure our kids are safe in the online world!

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Filed Under: Encouragement in Family, Encouragement in Motherhood, Featured Post Tagged With: checklist, Digital kids, Instagram, online help, parenting, snapchat, tips online parenting

Comments

  1. Janine Huldie says

    May 6, 2017 at 7:27 am

    Love Galit. So thank you for sharing this and will be checking her list out now as a teen parent myself who could use all the help on this. Thanks!!!

    Reply
    • momcafe says

      May 7, 2017 at 9:36 am

      We ALL need as much help as possible, don’t we? Galit is our GIRL. So glad you downloaded it too, Janine!

      Reply
    • Galit Breen says

      May 8, 2017 at 1:14 pm

      Janine! Yours is the first comment I saw and it made me SMILE so big! So happy to be in this together with you!

      Reply
  2. Kristi says

    May 6, 2017 at 9:49 am

    Yikes. I want to know more about the math teacher. Downloaded Galit’s list 🙂

    Reply
    • momcafe says

      May 7, 2017 at 9:35 am

      I know right? Ugh…

      I’m so glad you downloaded Galit’s list! Totally worth it. 🙂

      Reply
    • Galit Breen says

      May 8, 2017 at 1:17 pm

      Kristi! So fun to “see” you here! That math teacher, omg, right? Here’s the story: http://minnesota.cbslocal.com/2016/02/18/eagan-teacher-charged-with-stalking-12-year-old-student-via-snapchat/ #shudder

      Reply
  3. Bev says

    May 6, 2017 at 12:54 pm

    I’m so grateful for Eve’s young age and inability to access these things, but I know that day is not too far off in the future. As a parent, the internet can be a scary place and it’s good to be prepared. Thanks for sharing. I’m about to go download the checklist.

    Reply
    • momcafe says

      May 7, 2017 at 9:34 am

      It’s never too early to start preparing our kids for the inevitable online life. Thanks so much for stopping by and downloading the checklist Bev!

      Reply
    • Galit Breen says

      May 8, 2017 at 1:18 pm

      Bev + Chris, I LOVE this convo! So much proof that we NEED each other’s support and help during this digital age! You’re both spot on that it all happens so fast + we have to get ahead of these things rather than react when something happens!

      Reply
  4. Allie says

    May 7, 2017 at 10:50 am

    Christine. This post had me rivited. I’m going to go back and click all the links and download the checklist. I think I’ve had my head in the sand. Thank you!!!!!

    Reply
    • Galit Breen says

      May 8, 2017 at 1:20 pm

      Allie! You made my WHOLE DAY with this comment! Thank you so much for being the kind of parent who’s willing to be proactive about this topic! That means EVERYTHING to me!

      Reply
  5. lisa thomson says

    May 7, 2017 at 12:33 pm

    Hi Chris, what a timely and necessary topic. My kids are in their 20’s so not sure if it’s too late for this particular guidance. They seem to have a handle on it. This is important for all parents with tweens and teens, for sure. Galit’s sharing her story and checklist is going to save many from the perils of social media predators (even the ones they know). I’ll be sharing this all over.

    Reply
    • Galit Breen says

      May 8, 2017 at 1:22 pm

      Thank you so much for this comment, Lisa! Whenever I speak about this topic, I always think that kids your kids’ ages really did have it the hardest—no one was talking about all of this so much and yet, they were still living it! Kudos + thanks to you, mama, for blazing the way for the rest of us!

      Reply
  6. Tamara says

    May 7, 2017 at 5:35 pm

    Galit is amazing. Also, so disturbing about the math teacher!
    Also, right on about leaving midwest (or New England) winters!
    This checklist is EVERYTHING.

    Reply
    • Galit Breen says

      May 8, 2017 at 1:23 pm

      Tamara, your comment is EVERYTHING! I can’t thank you enough for every last word you wrote here! (*And for getting it about leaving the winter cold! Ha!)

      Reply
  7. Ceil says

    May 8, 2017 at 10:35 am

    Hi Chris! I know that this will resonate with parents of all ages, either planning for the digital world for them, or dealing with it now. How can we know what is inside of people’s minds? It’s great to be in a positive frame of mind, but you have to be protective and vigilant too.

    Thanks for this timely post!
    Ceil

    Reply
    • Galit Breen says

      May 8, 2017 at 1:23 pm

      Hi Ceil! Thank you so much for this thoughtful comment! It makes my heart SOAR knowing there are parents thinking in these ways! being proactive with our kids is SO important!

      Reply
  8. Kenya G. Johnson says

    May 8, 2017 at 12:53 pm

    Off to download. Thanks for sharing. There’s a big reality check when you know someone who knows someone who knows. I imagine the reality check is even bigger when it’s so close to home. Glad the girl isn’t a sad statistic!

    Reply
    • Galit Breen says

      May 8, 2017 at 1:24 pm

      Thank you so much for your comment, Kenya. There is—truly—so much truth to what you wrote. It’s eye-opening, for sure, to have something like this happen in your own community/school!

      Reply
  9. Julie Jo Severson says

    May 9, 2017 at 9:28 pm

    Ack! Wow. How could I not download it? Thank you Christine and Galit. Galit, I live in Minnesota too. The Twin Cities. I’ve lived here all my life and still can’t get used to the cold. But this is home and always will be (unless God has some wild unforeseen plan!)

    Reply
    • Galit Breen says

      May 10, 2017 at 4:24 pm

      Julie, it’s so nice to “meet” you! From one frozen but committed mama to another: SOLIDARITY, sister!

      Reply
  10. Roman says

    May 10, 2017 at 7:59 am

    The big job is done! Thank you for the post and for downloading checklist. As I am a digital dad, I can say, that our digital children, first of all, are in need our attention for their life. Attention, not control and strict laws.See the difference!
    Our children should have the interest to share with us an info, that they get from social media and the internet. To discuss the info with us.

    Reply
    • Galit Breen says

      May 10, 2017 at 4:26 pm

      Roman, I really + truly love and agree with this perspective. This right here that you wrote: “Attention, not control and strict laws” is perfection!

      Reply
  11. Kathy says

    May 11, 2017 at 4:52 pm

    Oh my gosh chills are running up my spine! This math teacher..wow!!! This happened soooo close to home. I thought things happened to ‘someone out there’..horrifying!!! This is such an important post Christine –it is harrowing how social media is so very scary and there’s so many outlets now..you are so very wise to share this list with your children and being a voice for so many parents who NEED to hear this and abide by this list!!!!!
    Tremendous resource here. I love your powerful voice in the world So proud of all your amazing writing and getting your voice out in the world to help so many!!!

    Reply
  12. Candace Playforth says

    May 12, 2017 at 8:10 am

    Wow! That is such a disturbing story. It’s all too common these days unfortunately. I’m big on talking to my kids and keeping an open dialogue on these issues. Thanks for helping raise awareness on this incredibly important topic, Chris. And thank you for a wonderful resource, Galit.

    Reply
  13. Kelly L McKenzie says

    May 13, 2017 at 10:58 am

    When my two were in high school, I went to a wonderful talk about just this. It was a good seven years ago and the room was full of concerned parents. The things I learned there helped tremendously with skating through the teen and tech years. Yes, parents need to be educated! Good on you, Chris for highlighting that here and keep spreading the word, Galit.

    Reply

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