My son had picked out an awesome “Flash” costume to wear in his Kindergarten parade at school… because of course, my kid is as fast as they come and he’s proud of it! I volunteered for the fun celebration, and many of the kids had the cutest costumes and were crazy excited for the party!
Except for one child.
This child was the one kid my son didn’t like very much at all. My son had complained several times throughout the year that this boy had called him all sorts of names and was mean. Our discussion of kids who are mean always turns into how they must be hurting. I try to guide my kids in understanding why some kids might be mean to help them gain insight and awareness with a new-found perspective. It never excuses the mean, just explains it.
So in the classroom, all the kids were scurrying around taking turns to go into the bathroom and put their costumes on. The excitement was brewing and the energy was high…except for this one child. He was mad. This little boy, dressed in the same clothes as the day before, crust around his nose and a stench of days of dirt… didn’t have a costume. As we marched through the school and out around the building displaying the elaborate costumes for all the endearing parents to see, I caught up with this boy and asked why he didn’t have a costume. He sighed and said, “I wanted one SO BADLY but my mama wouldn’t listen and she never got me one.”
I was heartbroken and convicted.
I hugged the poor little boy and said how sorry I was. At the end of the party, I approached my son to share this news with him. I offered an idea, one that he surely would not easily accept. I challenged my sweet boy to give beyond measure. I asked him to give his beloved costume to the boy who was mean to him. He resisted as any five-year-old would…but then he grew warmer…as it resonated with him…that this poor child didn’t have a costume on Halloween. We didn’t know why, but we knew he was hurting because of it.
My son has several old costumes to choose from and yet, his brand new “Flash” costume was his favorite. I had bought some costumes on clearance last year that he clearly liked too. I suggested he could wear one of those that evening Trick or Treating and give his Flash costume to the boy.
He agreed. Bless him.
As all the kids were frantically packing up their backpacks with a sugar-induced frenzy at the end of the fun-filled day, I approached the teacher and asked permission to slip Cade’s costume into the boy’s backpack. I wrote a note to go in there with it that attempted to soften the pride with which this may be received. My son and I approached the “mean” boy and told him he now had a costume for the night.
This sad little boy lit up with a big grin and said “Wow!” As he got into the bus line with the others, he kept looking back at me with both elation and confusion- I believe he doubted the gift and the goodness from where it came. Perhaps he didn’t quite know what to make of this new and rare feeling of gratitude. I’m guessing he didn’t trust the gift or the gratitude.
But I did. And I tried to confirm that message with my nodding smile each time he looked over at me.
And from that moment on, this little angry boy became this endearing child in need. My son understood the transformation through his young eyes too. And best of all, my son learned that if we love the ones who are angry and without… although difficult…it feels good and right and good again.
We decided to take this on as a tradition every year at our school. The next year, I sent my daughter off to school with two extra costumes for any children who were without. In the car, we talked about what a great idea this is and how we should do it every year. I reminded my son of the previous year’s generous act and how that was such a great gift to this boy. It was now my daughter’s turn to bless someone!
“Let’s do this every year you guys! Wouldn’t that be a neat tradition?”
“Yeah- I like doing things like that.” They each exclaimed.
Every year after, I brought a bag of extra old costumes to every Halloween class party for both of my kids. Every year, those kids who didn’t have a costume, dove into the bag to find one to wear.
“So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.”
Do you have an extra costume? Or the means to buy one? Why don’t you join our tradition too?
JOIN OUR TRADITION!!!
Beautiful Chris! Thank you!!!! What a sweet lesson for your children to learn. To see and feel the needs of others and respond will follow them as they grow.
That is my prayer always, Becky!! I want to teach them about compassion, empathy and giving always!! Thanks for reading this, my friend!! Praying the conference blesses many!!! Can’t WAIT to hear all about it!
I love y’alls tradition!!!
Thankfully we are done with the need for costumes at school but what a great idea.
And, you are so right – if more people had the same idea this world would be so much nicer!!
It’s just one way my kids and I can make a difference… I love how it unfolded and I love doing it every year since!!
This is simply beautiful! I have tears in my eyes Chris! Sharing!
Thank you so much Michelle!!! I love that this touched your heart!! It touches mine every single year… with each new child that gets a costume!! 🙂
What a beautiful story and tradition. Our elementary school just emailed us this quote today and I believe it applies here: “If you go looking for a friend, you’re going to find they’re very scarce.
If you go out to be a friend, you’ll find them everywhere.”
LOVE that quote Emily!! It’s just so true. Give first. Always… If we could all live that!!
Ohhhhh I adore your “way”. How wonderful that at such a young age you taught your kids what empathy really was about. Not the costume but the act of doing. I do hope that young boy is in a better place today and every day after.
Thanks so much Kerri!! I am seeing the joy of giving in my kids, and oh, how I love that!! Empathy- compassion- giving. Three traits I will always strive to teach my kids. <3
What a sweet story and a lovely tradition with your family!
Thanks Bev!! We all really enjoy doing this… and I can’t even describe the joy I see on these kids’ faces when they realize they DO have a costume after all!!
Aww, Chris, I just finished writing about my experience with Emma’s field trip yesterday and reading this totally made me even more weepy. Just beautiful and can’t thank you enough for sharing. Hugs 🙂
It’s amazing how a mama’s heart gets so emotional, isn’t it? Oh yes… I am really in that ‘mode’ right now. Here’s to our precious children, my friend!!
This is so so gorgeous Chris. I want to join this tradition. You’re so wonderful. So much love to you and these amazing kids you have.
Thanks so much my friend!! It is just one small but significant way to make a difference in a kid’s life for that day. I absolutely LOVE what it does to their spirit when they realize they WILL belong. They WILL enjoy and embrace this special celebration too. Oh the JOY!!
Oh bless. I don’t really have words for how much I love this. This is what I’m trying to teach my boys…to be aware of the world around you…be aware of the hurt going on in others and is there anything we can do to ease it. It’s a hard, life long, lesson to learn.
YES!!! That is exactly what I am trying to teach my kids too Stephanie!! It truly IS a life long lesson to learn… for us all. <3
Oh, wow, Chris, what a wonderful story!
Thanks for coming by to read it Ginny!!! 🙂
I love this entire post. Kudos to your son for being a bigger person. Sometimes as parents we under estimate how amazing our little people are.
So true Michellette!! I think it’s so important we challenge our kiddos to stretch beyond themselves and learn what compassion and empathy and giving are all about…
Thanks for reading our story!!
Now I want to be a Carter and do this too! What a blessing you guys are! Love love love this! And my heart aches for that “mean” boy. I hope somebody gives him a tight tight hug today! And everyday!
Me too, Jhanis!! Me too…
Thanks so much for you heart in this, my friend!! It’s truly a wonderful little mission we have taken on. It brings us so much JOY!!
TEARS! You would do something like this! And, so would precious Cade! LOVE it and you guys!
AW!! Thanks so much WPB!!! It was amazing… and every year since it continues to be. <3
Ahh, I love Cade and Cassidy! And YOU! What wonderful children. Is Cade already betrothed to another or can I put Scarlet’s name in there? (what is wrong with me, seriously?)
Girl… get in LINE!! LOLOL But this mama has SCARLET standing in that line first for him. We will manipulate things just so… someday!! (Can you imagine? OUR FAMILIES UNITED!!!!) 🙂
Hi Chris! I love that line “We’re Carters and that’s what we do.”
What a legacy of love and mercy! I don’t know who to be most proud of, your son, daughter, or you.
This is a lovely post!
Ceil
Perhaps Cade! He still says that was his favorite costume, bless his heart!! 🙂
That’s a wonderful suggestion and I hope I can implement it this year and the years to come!
DO IT!! I had a teacher friend of mine tell me I would be her favorite mother just because it helps the kids who feel neglected and isolated feel like they DO belong after all. It’s such a beautiful small significance in their lives, and in ours!!
Oh, Chris, what a sweet angel you have. And what a beautiful mom you are. I love how you parent on purpose and the beautiful souls you are raising. That little boy will always remember your kindness and what your son did for him that day. I just know he will. This was such a beautiful story and such a wonderful reminder in all the ways we can share the love of Christ. It really is just about meeting a hurting soul where they are. xo
Thank you so much my beautiful friend!! These small pieces of giving CAN make a difference, and it brings such joy to my heart to see that happen!! Cade was so proud this year too, when two girls sadly without costumes in his class this year- ended up with the perfect costumes to wear! (I was out of boy costumes, so I brought a bunch of Cassidy’s old ones. And wouldn’t you know there were GIRLS that needed them. Oh so DIVINE!!)
And the small but meaningful tradition lives on… 🙂
OMG, Chris! I LOVE this so much!!! Unfortunately, my kids school doesn’t allow them to dress up in their costumes for Halloween, so it would be harder to do, but we could find a way I know. Even a costume collection at our church and take them all to a school where they could be given out. God bless you and your amazing children. You are all such beautiful, giving people! XOXO
Oh thank you so much my sweet friend!! I LOVE your idea! There are always ways to give… this was just one small but significant way. I’m so proud of him and as we were talking about it- he said, “Yeah, that was the best costume ever!” I know sweetie, I know. <3
You have an awesome son and you should be SO proud of his heart for the Lord and for loving other people. I pray that he will keep that love!
Thank you so much Stephanie!! I pray that same prayer for him everyday!! 🙂 So thankful you stopped by to read this.
Oh my goodness, I’m crying. Bless your beautiful and tender heart Chris. I just love how you did this and what you’ve taught your children in the process. This is wonderful.
Thanks for sharing and for linking up to the #SHINEbloghop.
Wishing you a lovely weekend.
xoxo
This year I had two girls without costumes… one looked so defeated as she sunk her head in her arms at her desk, while the other kids frantically scurried to get their costumes on. She was precious- and I knew that I brought Cassidy’s old dance costume for her. She LIT up when I told her she had a costume. Poor thing just forgot hers-
She looked beautiful- and she told me she was a dancer! Perfect.
The other girl was a bit more challenging. She wasn’t the other costumes like superwoman or red riding hood- so I ran home minutes before the parade and grabbed “Marilyn Monroe” after ransacking Cassidy’s dress up bin and leaving her floor COVERED in costumes- I FLEW to school and parked illegally in front of the school and raced in to find her in line for the parade. I took her in a classroom for her to change and OUT CAME MARLYN beaming so bright! With a wig and boa and white dress and all! She was adorable- and spunky, and it was perfect. 🙂
What a beautiful thing to do and teach your children, Chris! I’m going to share this and hope more people follow your tradition.
It’s just such an easy thing to do that really makes a difference – if only for a day. This year I brought a bunch of girl’s costumes (I was out of boys) and the light in those two girls that didn’t have costumes – and then DID… Joy. Pure joy. 🙂
what a beautiful lesson!! We are so blessed that my daughters kindergarten teacher has this kind of heart and always makes sure to bring in extra costumes on the celebration day.
We recently took this concept a step further in our home by actually inviting the boy with whom my son was having some “issues” with at school to our home. My husband talked to the parents first and explained the situation that was happening, and the very first thing the boy did when he arrived was apologize to my son for the trouble he was causing him at school. And they got along just fine here in our home. Will it become a lasting friendship? Will the boy never, ever slip back into his bullying ways? Probably not – but I hope that they at least gained a measure of understanding that day.
That is so sweet! And I’m sure this is a lesson that will stick with both of you for a long, long time. Thanks for sharing on Equipping Godly Women Fellowship Fridays!
It does- and it just this year I had another amazing experience giving costumes to two girls!! My son was truly ‘proud’ to watch it unfold and talked about it several times after. Oh, how it is wonderful to see service being taught and offered and embraced!!!