I just had a heated argument with my 5-year-old. I was mature and authoritarian, and ‘adult-like’ during this interaction modeling excellent parenting techniques. The outcome was both beneficial and rewarding for my child.
Sure. If you have one clue, it’s that the argument ended in me saying “WHATEVER!!” in the most adolescent voice any 43 year old could ever convey! I whined and squirmed away from him and yelled like a toddler and grew up into pre-teen vocabulary with a “no way, am I gonna take that from you!” And a “you are so annoying!” I quickly converted to a full blown teenager with a “uh huh…. yeah go right ahead! You can whine and cry like a little baby!” “UGH! UCCCHHHHHH! GO AWAY!!!!” And as my son continued to whine and bug me for a treat before breakfast lying on me and groping for attention…. I flew my hands up with a “WHATEVER!!!”
Yeah. Parenting at it’s finest right there! Proud moment. Shine mom shine! Oh so lovely. Still fuming from it and still regressing back down now to toddler mode. Wanna throw a fit. Yeah, I do. Got a problem with that? Oh- and there I go back to the teen drama! Apparently, I am not in my forties today. I am cranky. I am hormonal. I am seemingly challenged as any ordinary growing kid. One glitch. I’m not a kid. I am the adult.
Yeah, not my finest moments this morning. You ever have that out of body observation as you continue to say things to your children you know you will regret and you are confident it is NOT at all what you should be saying? But you say it anyway? Cathartic. Impulsive. Childish. Immature. Self-serving. Inappropriate. Unacceptable.
I had an agenda and I was on edge. I didn’t have him as my priority, actually I didn’t have him in any realm of my morning. I expected to focus on ME and instead, I got a whole lot of HIM. Surprise surprise. Basic parenting model right there, child is needing attention from mother…acts out and is excessively needy while mother attempts to ignore him and get things done. Child gets louder and more attention seeking behavior ensues…..mom gets angry and frustrated and acts like a fool. Nice.
Time to get back to forty-something. Time to get back to my “job” and realize that once again, the day wasn’t given to me to do “my stuff”. It was given to me to be a mom. My stuff will come second, time to put my mom hat on and be an adult. Get off the computer and take care of this kid I was blessed to call mine. Ain’t it ironic that I am trying to blog about motherhood and it is SCREAMING in my face!?! I guess I should take my own immature advice, “Grow up and act your age!!”
But…. he started it!
LOVE this 🙂 Thanks!!
This helped me so much tonight that I’m sharing it on Facebook 🙂
Dan Walraven says
Thank you for your honesty and transparency. Though I am a guy, I can so relate to being immature with my kids. I would act more like my daughter’s brother than her father. We would try to one-up other in how mean-and-teen we could be. Looking back I am so ashamed. And, yes, I have apologized to my daughter for that behavior.
So, your writing tonight has been a marvelous reset button and reminder. Thank you for being so authentic!
That is so fantastic to hear from a MAN!!! Thank you so much for your wonderful feedback….so glad to know I am not the only one who needs to grow up at times. Thanks for posting and being honest right back! Keep reading!!! Sounds like you may have some good information to share along the way…. 🙂
Chris….love this one…you are so honest and real, raw emotions, a wonderful testimony to you and your wisdom about children and their many trials and tribulations.