If you haven’t already met my dear friend Mary Katherine of MomBabble.com, then you are truly missing out on a beautiful part of the online world. MK shares light and laughter and encouragement to thousands of moms on her Facebook page, and she is a true reflection of Christ-like love in every way. Today I am so incredibly honored to share a piece she wrote, that touched me deeply, because it is an accurate reflection of my own heart too. I pray her words and message speak to both believers and atheists. We can all do better.
Dear atheists,
I love you.
I wish that could be the primary and singular message I have for you today, but in light of the world’s active culture of religious train-wreckage, I feel like there is more to be said. I would like to start by asking for a reprieve from judgment. You probably just spewed your coffee on a computer screen. I’m not an idiot; I am certain that you have had the lion’s share of judgment from “the other side.” You’ve had an ear full, a belly full, and you are well-done and over it. But please hear me out, because this sets the tone of my entire letter.
My request: Please do not discount my intelligence because I am a person of faith. Start by considering that there are plenty of Christians who are smarter than you, and a multitude of atheists who are smarter than me. An intellectual pissing match doesn’t do anybody much good. When has somebody become a Christian or an atheist because they were simply out-smarted in a battle of wits on the internet?
Never.
And, after all—what do we all want to accomplish, here? I think I know.
I think everyone wants to live in peace with their ideals and beliefs. I think people want to be respected as friends, peers, and colleagues regardless of their faith or non-faith. Cheesy as it may be, people want to love and be loved in return.
(Beatle’s soundtrack in 3, 2, ..)
That is going to be very difficult because according to many belief systems, sharing faith with non-believers is a charge that is taken very seriously. Unfortunately, it is also a charge that is grossly misinterpreted, abused, and often mangled in its efforts. I am so sorry that you’ve been a victim of these exchanges. The reason I write this letter is because yesterday, for the first time in a while, I found myself in the proverbial hot seat. It was ME who was ridiculed and bullied for my faith.
I stupidly got involved in a debate on the basis of societal morality, and in the process was completely blasted and mocked for being a Christian. Did my faith falter? No. Did my belief system change as a result? Absolutely not.
But that doesn’t change the fact that the experience left me feeling bruised. Please don’t be mistaken—it wasn’t my ego or my faith that was knocked around. It was my feelings. I was spoken to as a lesser individual, less intelligent and unworthy of respect–because I was different.
In this age of thumbnail profile pictures, it is easy to view people as a floating icon. Too easy to get carried away in the flexing of our intellectual muscles to remember there are emotions—actual people—in the wake of our comments. And I also think we have forgotten that, at the root of things, ALL people share this common belief system: Humanity is severely fallen and could use a fix.
You will not find a Muslim, Christian, or agnostic who will argue this point. If you do, refer them to Oprah because they have found something (be it an idea, philosophy or miracle drug) that could be sold.
So if humanity is broken, the real disconnect is in our belief on how to fix it.
The fix for atheists (from my perspective) is to encourage people to think logically. That through logic, we will find that preservation for society and self relies on the ability to intermingle peacefully.
The fix for Christians (SHOULD be) to learn from God and the Bible how to better love and serve the people of this world, and in DOING so—share the faith. I can’t speak for other religions—but I have a feeling the intent similar.
Oh, how far we’ve all gotten off track.
There is not an iota of a chance that the planet earth will one day unite under the banner of one faith and live in peace. So we are going to have to forge an alternate path. I believe this begins with small changes and ends with big results.
My words to both sides:
Christians: I wouldn’t dare tell you to stop sharing your faith. My belief in Christ has given me new life and a spiritual freedom which I would love to share with everyone around me. But let’s look at Christ. YES He shared his faith and YES He was quite clear about being the only way. But what did He do before every.single.sermon? He shared love, met a need, or simply touched a life. You have to EARN the right to be heard by those who do not believe the same as you. Posting a picture of Jesus on facebook or bashing gays on equality message boards is not the way. Politicizing religion as a vessel to impose it on others is not going to save souls.
Take a breath, look around you, and seek a need. Then choose love—and meet that need. Be a friend. Not for the sole purpose of sharing your faith, but because the love in your heart inspires friendship. Serve your community. Work hard and talk less. By walking this path, you will find that less anger will meet you when you choose to share your faith.
Then–when you DO share—realize you can’t argue your way into someone’s heart. They are either open to your thoughts or they are not. But they will always, always be open to your LOVE.
Atheists: Recognize that Christianity is not what you see on Fox News. There are many faces, many interpretations, and many theologies within the faith. Like any cross section of humanity, there will be hateful people, humble people, idiots, and kind-hearted servants. Your group is NOT immune to this fact. Treat every person as an individual and you may find that some encounters with people of faith can be very positive, enriching experiences. Seek truth. Is it possible that you don’t have it all figured out? I’d say so. Can we all learn from others and find wisdom in different teachings? Possibly?
One set of my child’s future god-parents are non-believers. (Ironic, being that they are god-parents.) They are open-minded, loving friends who exemplify selflessness. If I can find and attest to those attributes in these friends, what can you see and learn from in others?
Frankly, I don’t have a clue what I’m getting at here. I often times find myself hammering away at keyboard, unsure of the resolution I am seeking. All I know is that after a terrible interaction on a facebook thread, I lost sleep last night. I know that was because of multiple failures. Failure on my part to convey a clear, loving message. Failure on my part to accept that people would react harshly to my beliefs. Failure on their part to not find the meat of what I was trying to share. Failure on their part to resort to mockery and belittlement.
It seems that the root of these failures in communication stem from a lack of understanding and respect. Understanding and respect are found only where love exists. And that’s where I guess I’m ending this rant.
Dear atheists,
I love you.
Mary Katherine
Aw, beautifully and perfectly stated. Thank you to both for sharing these thoughtful and meaningful words here for all to read.
Thanks for reading it, Janine!
Excellent! So true it is our actions on loving others that show Christ more than any words we say. And no matter our believe, judgements hurt others period. They do not transform hearts and minds but divide us instead.
AMEN, Lynn. Exactly that. <3
I love this! I’m not an Atheist or a Christian, but I can see how misunderstandings happen. A lot. I think an open heart, kindness, love – what could be better?
You’d think it wouldn’t be that hard- but oh my, it certainly seems to be. 🙁
BRILLIANT response. That’s one of the things I really struggle with about online – so many people forget that there’s a living, feeling PERSON on the other side of the screen. I’m so glad this was written.
It’s awful out there. Just awful. I often wonder who these people are behind the screens- the ones who spit words online that truly are evil, cruel, and sometimes disgusting. Who are these people?
Yeah, I loved this letter SO much too.
***But they will always, always be open to your LOVE.***
Exquisite.
Brilliant.
Smart.
Non-judgmental.
Amazing.
Fabulous.
I. Love. This. post SOooo much.
Signed,
Another Jesus Lover just trying to LOVE Everybody how they should be LOVED! xxx
Isn’t it AMAZING? Yeah, I knew you would love it. 🙂
I am quite impressed by this and surprised that I am, to be perfectly honest. I am an atheist and generally avoid articles/posts about religion, mostly because I just don’t relate. I do, however, believe everyone has a right to choose their faith (or lack thereof) – as long as it is not harmful to others (i.e. extremists, suicide bombers, etc). What I’m trying to say is this is beautiful. Love IS the answer, kindness IS the answer, compassion IS the answer… and all too often these things are thrown to the wayside. Thank you for sharing your thoughts! Much love to you <3
Abbie, thank you for your beautiful and inspiring response. I thoroughly agree. <3
Wonderful article. And I think the problem can be easily summed up by saying; everyone is just waiting for their turn to speak… and not actually hearing one another. You need to do some DEEP listening to truly understand another’s heart and journey. And therein also grows respect.
No one wins an internet war about anything; because it’s not the place for deep listening and active, respectful discussion. I got attacked by the gay community the other day because they completely misinterpreted something I said. They stopped reading at that ONE sentence… and didn’t finish the rest of the article, which clearly showed I was not homophobic. But they sent their minions after me. My inbox flooded with hateful messages from anons. Some even went so far as to tell me to “just kill myself.” Nice. Hard for me to respect your cause when you are such rage monsters – brave behind the anonymous icon. In the end, it was one of their own who actually said “you’re all idiots and I’m ashamed to be associated with you — read her entire article.” Did I get any “sorry” anons? Nope. Not a one.
Fine, no problem. I know I responded with Grace to each message until I just literally could not keep up anymore. I didn’t wage war – I simply redirected them to the main points and let them stand on their own. Love was the message and my responding hate with hate? Well, that would have destroyed my original words.
No one wins web wars. Disengaging is the best policy. Your actions will speak louder than any words.
OH Leslie, I am SO sorry that happened to you. You are just amazing for responding to it all with your gracious words- and ultimately YOU won that war. (Which post was THAT? I need to go catch up over at your place.)
So glad you shared this Chris. It’s a well-thought out article and it’s so true that love truly is the answer, regardless of faith. We need to respect one another and everybody’s beliefs. It makes me sad that too often people jump to the attack rather than asking for clarification.
It happens all the time, which makes me sad too Kristi. Sigh…
A big yes to this! Wonderful of you to share her words here. “He shared love, met a need, or simply touched a life. You have to EARN the right to be heard by those who do not believe the same as you.” LOVE that so much. She nailed it. Yes, we do have to earn it. Those who have impacted and lifted up my faith the most are the humbled sheep out there loving, meeting needs, touching lives, often doing so quietly, unnoticed by most except the one whose soul has just been graced as a result. Happy Sunday, Chris.
YES! Those people are the same ones who have impacted my faith the most too, Julie. Yes yes yes… <3
It is not our place to judge. Ever. There is only one Judge and it sure ain’t any of us! Our role that God has given us is to LOVE. I believe we can speak so much through our actions with very few words. If God chooses to give us the words, then go for it. But how much can we impact people with actions of love? The internet becomes a trickier place to do this because communication is mostly with written words. The sad part is that people feel like they can say whatever they want because they do not see the person face to face. It’s a sad truth that people are just mean. It’s the sin of this world. 🙁 But we can do as Christ calls us and love, love, love!
I flagged this post some time ago so I could come back to it and read it again! It’s beautifully written and spot on!
Thank you!
You have to EARN the right to be heard by those who do not believe the same as you. Posting a picture of Jesus on facebook or bashing gays on equality message boards is not the way. Politicizing religion as a vessel to impose it on others is not going to save souls.
For a topic that can tend to be biased even when the writer doesn’t intend to, you absolutely nailed it. The extract pasted above lit sparks in my soul. Thank you. X
AGREE Sera! You have to EARN the right to be heard by those who do not believe the same as you. So perfectly said. I’m so glad you were moved by this message.
Thank you for sharing such a beautiful perspective… I guess we forget the simple message that is Love. It’s hard to admit but after having had a very religious upbringing…. Many intellectual encounters and ambiguous or even no responses to questions regarding my faith have left me sour and bitter. I have even gone to the extent of wondering if I’m embracing aethism myself. In my journey I have realised as could be true for others as well is that religion tends to thrive on fear rather than love that faith inspires. You have reminded me to dare to love once again, myself inspite of my imperfections and others inspite of theirs. Thank you!
Rini, what a beautiful response to this letter. YES. I’m so glad these words moved you and opened your heart to love. Fear is a motivation for so much in this world and in ourselves- but love (I believe) can conquer fear if we allow ourselves to fully embrace it. The Christian faith is based on God’s merciful love- and yet many miss the mark and cling to the opposite- fear or anger instead.
INSPIRATIONAL STORIES
A man went to a barbershop to have his hair cut and his beard trimmed. As the barber began to work, they began to have a good conversation. They talked about so many things and various subjects.
When they eventually touched on the subject of God, the barber said: “I don’t believe that God exists.”
“Why do you say that?” asked the customer.
“Well, you just have to go out in the street to realize that God doesn’t exist. Tell me, if God exists, would there be so many sick people? Would there be abandoned children? If God existed, there would be neither suffering nor pain. I can’t imagine a loving God who would allow all of these things.”
The customer thought for a moment but didn’t respond because he didn’t want to start an argument. The barber finished his job and the customer left the shop. Just after he left the barbershop, he saw a man in the street with long, stringy, dirty hair and an untrimmed beard. He looked dirty and unkempt. The customer turned back and entered the barber shop again and he said to the barber: “You know what? Barbers do not exist.”
“How can you say that?” asked the surprised barber….”I am here, and I am a barber. And I just worked on you!” “No!” the customer exclaimed…..”Barbers don’t exist because if they did, there would be no people with dirty long hair and untrimmed beards, like that man outside.” “Ah, but barbers DO exist! What happens is, people do not come to me.”
“Exactly!”- affirmed the customer. “That’s the point! God, too, DOES exist! What happens, is, people don’t go to Him and do not look for Him. That’s why there’s so much pain and suffering in the world.”
“Only fools say in their hearts, “There is no God.” Psalms 14:1
Ah, what an INCREDIBLE story! Thank you for sharing this, Milton!