There are many lessons on losing we can teach our kids. I think it’s one of the most important aspects of life they need to master, because losing is surely a huge part of living. We grow more from the bottom than the top, I say.
Recently, my son was in an annual JiuJitsu tournament. He competed with kids in his age group from several different schools, and for the first two rounds of grappling, he won his matches with ease. I took a picture of him after one of the wins, and posted it on FB with the hashtags: #Fierce #Strong #Winner. This is all true.
But there is so much more to this story.
As the day unfolded things changed, and my heart continued to twist into regret that I used one particular hashtag: #Winner. There is a profound hypocritical piece to this, of which I am still struggling to resolve.
You see, after those two wins, while we waited during the half time break, my son came to stand by me as he said “It’s so easy, mom.”
Here is where it gets real.
My boy is good at pretty much everything he does. It all comes easy to him. He’s incredibly gifted in athletics and academics, and can pretty much do anything he wants to do and do it quite well. He is used to winning, familiar with success, and rarely fails or falls.
I don’t like that one bit.
Do you want to know why?
I explain the entire story and all the reasons it’s important to let our kids lose over at Her View From Home. There are great lessons on losing we can offer our kids…
Do you have a kid who is good at everything? Or does your child struggle with trying to win? I have one of each, actually. My girl works incredibly hard at everything she does, and I don’t believe she’s ever come in first place for anything. My son on the other hand, regularly wins with ‘ease’.
How do your kids react to losing? I wonder if you feel the same way I do about all the lessons on losing we can teach our kids…
Come on over to my post, “Why I Want My Son To Lose” and share your thoughts with me, would you?
Going!
THANK YOU!!! 🙂
Going to read it now. And Christine – this is my daughter!
Thanks so much for reading it Allie! I love that you get this- with your daughter. XO
There are so many great lessons in losing. This is incredibly important in our current “everyone gets a trophy” lifestyle. Headed over to read the rest, my friend!
I completely agree Candace. Our kids need those opportunities to grow and learn how to cope with losing. Those can be our greatest experiences in the long run! Thanks for reading my post over at Her View, my friend! XO
That was an incredible story. As parents it’s our job to push our kids when we see they need it. Some of my proudest moments were the ones weren’t I didn’t necessarily succeed or get a good grade, because those were the moments I was pushed harder than I had been before, and they helped me to grow and learn. That’s what we want for our children.
Exactly, Bev! Those are the experiences that truly grow us. Thanks so much for reading my post, dear friend. XOXO
Oh, summer is crazy and I’m falling behind on reading my favorite people, top of the list-YOU. So glad I’m here and now heading over, there. Because you have described my 13-year-old son, and I’ve been concerned about this same thing. A rare perspective that you have, but a very important reminder. See you over at Her View From Home:-) One of these days, I’m going to submit there.
Powerful story. It’s really important to guide kids especially during the tough times like losing. It’s like break or make stage in their lives.