At the end of the day,
When the world stops moving
And I stop giving, serving, doing…
I collapse into my indulgent need
To be selfish.
Depleted and exhausted
Cranky and empty
I offer little
You want more.
I stretch through
You bend too…
We meet there.
My light now dim
We soak it in
You always get the leftovers.
You work so tirelessly
All day long
Numbers and figures
That are relentlessly torturing.
The pressure builds high
And the stress overwhelming…
You come home to collapse
Into a haze of meandering.
Not quite there
Your presence murky
Stumbling around the chaos
Trying to gain momentum
To grasp the tasks at hand.
Depleted and exhausted
Cranky and empty
You offer little
I want more.
You stretch through
I bend too…
We meet there.
Your light now dim
We soak it in
I always get the leftovers…
This is where we meet.
Life takes us here.
We find ourselves within the leftovers.
We navigate our way around our needs
Pushing, stretching, bending
Toward each other.
And realize the richness of our love
Lies in this undying haze.
We filter through and find our fill…
Our love lies in the leftovers.
1 Corinthians 13:7
7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
AMEN, SSSF!!!!! You read my heart you sweet soul sister, to the core & I LOVE that about you!!! In a different state, literally, you always know where my heart is & we are always connected! I LOVE that! XOXO.
You just lit my heart UP SSSF!!! Seriously- this THIS is how God works… amen? I am SO filled with joy that we are connected- in the truest form… and God speaks to us in unison. Hmm… so good!!
Sandy Ramsey says
Just beautiful. I understand this so well! Thank you!
Thank you so much Sandy!! I am guessing there are many marriages that have and endure and often EMBRACE leftover love… it’s rarest form is TRUE love, really. 🙂
Janine Huldie says
So true and sometimes no matter how hard you try you just have to give into that life and the love we have is in the leftovers. And believe me my friend I try hard not to have this happen, but it still does sometimes and at the very least I know it isn’t just me and I am not alone.
Although leftover love isn’t the best FORM of marital love… I think it’s the TRUEST form. If we can’t withstand our leftover love, and actually soak in it from time to time- then ‘endures all’ won’t have meaning.
another jennifer says
This is a timely post for me, being in the middle of tax season. The leftovers are about the only thing we have right now. We do filter through. And count down to April 15th. 🙂
When I was working on this post, I seriously thought of YOU- because I KNOW this is tax season, which I believe makes you a single parent for a while.
I think leftover love is true love. If a marriage can’t withstand the leftovers, then it will surely die.
Words…I love words. I love how you fit them together to express what so many of us feel. Loved it!
I adore words too… especially when they do fit together to eventually reach the message in its entirety! Oh how I love when that happens. “Writer’s high” baby!! 😉
Amen! And sometimes..the love in the leftovers makes me sad. Other times, I’m so glad it’s there.
I truly believe leftover love is TRUE LOVE. It is sad for me too, especially when it goes on and ON for weeks… but I find in our ‘moments’ of fill, we celebrate that we can embrace those leftovers in both of us. Somehow, isn’t it so beautiful? This is the good stuff really…
Katie @ Pick Any Two says
Yes, yes, and yes again! Those fleeting moments of “I love you” whispered with tired eyes half-shut, those cuddles that start out obligatory but quick turn genuine, those moments where you just don’t want to give anymore but end up so thankful you did — I completely agree that those are expressions of TRUE love.
Were you in my home last night? And every night? Oh Katie- you described it PERFECTLY and BEAUTIFULLY!! Yes oh yes, my friend. Exactly that. 🙂
My Inner Chick says
I don’t want the “left overs.”
I want the “Entire Meal!”
Perhaps in Heaven…No?
Xx Chris, God is using your words in a powerful way. I feel them all the way over here in Minnesota.
Oh Kim- I always just soak in your comments and relish in your words!!! Thank you love- truly!
Heaven. No needs to meet, perhaps? Ahh… No leftovers. Only six course meals fresh out of the kitchen!! ALL THE TIME!! 😉
Oh, so true!! The sad thing is normally I think the wife feels this but I’m pretty sure that many days my husband feels like he only gets my left-overs – gotta work on that!!!
It’s really 50/50 around here!! They are just different ‘forms’ of leftovers, ya know? I think there are so many moms out there that are just DONE by the end of the day… and don’t want to ‘serve’ another soul. And then there are women who work all day and are depleted from that. Men- both scenarios too. So many needs, and not enough energy to meet them!! Grace. Every marriage needs it.
The fact that you both manage to meet in the middle? Not that I’m an expert by any means – but I would think that’s what makes and keeps a marriage. You’re an inspiration for me my friend. Always.
Thanks love. We sometimes get it ‘wrong’ but more often get it ‘right’…. lots of grace must be given. And lots of sacrifice must be taken. In the end, that’s true love. It’s worth it all. You’ll see… 😉
Kristi Campbell says
I can’t tell you how timely this was for me. I just had an EPIC fight with my husband about how his needs to split his time better (Not to me, but to his two other children) and his escaping devices (reading, phone, movies, screen time), and well, I”m so angry at him for giving my son his leftovers, that sometimes I forget that I am hungry too. This was stunningly beautiful.
Thanks so much hun… I am so sorry you have to endure through such tough terrain with that splitting of attention where needs slip by the way side- and I hear your mama roar for sweet Tucker!!! It’s a fine balance – all of it. And Lord knows, sometimes it just goes off kilter, doesn’t it? I am SLOWLY learning to pour grace all over the place… because quite frankly, I am given so much of it too. Marriage thrives on Grace. This I know to be true. 🙂
Alison Hector says
Beautiful, my friend. Just beautiful.
Thank you so much Alison. That means the world coming from you! XO
Manal The Go Go Girl says
Simply amazing my sweet friend! I’m starting to believe you’re a real Angel:) Why did you come into my life? hugs
Perhaps I came into your life to be BLESSED BY YOU!!! Oh Manal… you are such a dear. I adore you. You are such a light…truly!!!
Lori Wildenberg says
Oh.. I love this, Chrissy…I love it! Sharing it over at our ministry page http://www.facebook.com/1Corinthains13Parenting. (Later this afternoon…moving into leftover time!)
Thank you SO much Lori!!! I love that you get this… and I can’t help but think everyone in a marriage would get this. SO grateful you read it and shared it Lori!!! XOXO
My mistake: Reading this in a moment of down time in my volunteering-in-Sophie’s-classroom Day…Oh the tears!
Knowing you and Derek, and the beauty of your relationship first hand is such a blessing! You are each so different from the other, both so real, such givers, such blessers! I live the life portrayed in this wiring yet, when I read it with YOU in mind, it strikes a special chord in the music of my heart. ALL you do ALL the time. All HE does all the time! All God does in and through you both constantly…such beauty in your leftovers : ).
I’ll remember this beautiful post when I’m worn and weary, when my precious hubby is cranky and withdrawn, and I will find the music ~ the love in our leftovers.
Thank you WPB
Oh WPB!!! Your comment just makes my heart SWELL!!! Having you truly know me… in real life… all of me… and Derek… and THIS is what you say? What you see? Oh, how deeply touched I am to read this. You BLESS me so… Thank you thank you thank you.
SO beautiful. So real. So honest. What you have just described is marriage.-Ashley
Isn’t it exactly that? I can’t help but think that this is where the true authentic love lives…
I am so glad you get this, Ashley!!! 😉
Lisa @ The Golden Spoons says
You have no idea how appropriate this is today! This morning my Bible study group was just talking about how rejuvenating “Sabbath timee” can be and how we NEED that time – alone time, etc. – to be able to give our all to our families. We had a particular discussion about spouses. I don’t like to think of it as giving him “my leftovers,” but truthfully, that’s what it is – sometimes that’s all I have; sometimes that’s all he has. I’m glad we are able to meet in the middle and find our love amidst the leftovers.
I LOVE that this was your topic in your women’s bible study group!! And perhaps this really is where our truest love lies… in the leftovers. It’s not that it’s pretty, or romantic- it’s about the giving and bending and sacrifice. Love endures!
Julie Chenell DeNeen says
That was beautiful…and I could relate so well. I was wondering if it related more to my husband or God. I always give them both the leftovers. Sigh.
Oh Julie- you are surely NOT the only one…to give leftovers to both. God’s Grace is sufficient for YOU. (Thank God, right?) As for Andrew? I believe he is in this for the long run… leftovers and all. 🙂
Jessica Cobb @Domestic Pirate says
In it’s IMperfection right?! 😉
This is lovely, Chris. I recognize that coming together at the end of a long day, and finding the soft landing spot that is also a place from which to draw strength. It is a precious thing. 🙂
There truly is nothing better than having that ‘safe spot’ to land on every single day… This kind of love- is the BEST kind of love.
Thanks for coming by Kim! SO glad you did. 🙂
Nicole @ Work in Sweats Mama says
YES!! This is AMAZING, Chris! And the definition of love. That we can meet in the middle and still give when we’re exhausted, spent, stressed, and just worn down by life, that is LOVE. That is what sustains us. Not the grand gestures, not the good times, but the coming together in all the in-between time and space.
Exactly Nicole. EXACTLY. 🙂
Your words made my heart ache. And I mean that it in a good way. My husband and I were just talking about this, and mourning that we don’t have more for each other. Still, we recognize that it’s enough for right now, because of what you said. Because it’s love. The bible verse is beautiful.
Thanks so much Rachel!! Ya know, I truly believe that is where TRUE love lies… in those moments where you don’t want to give anymore- that is often the case in marriage with kids, isn’t it? And yet, there is such love in acceptance and grace and giving and taking and bending and stretching- THAT’S where love strengthens those muscles… Love endures. I want to celebrate THAT. 🙂
This is so, so beautiful. xo
Thanks Shell… it’s true love, isn’t it? 🙂
“I collapse into my indulgent need
To be selfish.”
Oh, my gosh this is so me. So often I just want to be all by myself but I know he needs my attention. But I never regret giving him my attention b/c I know it deepens our bond.
You described EXACTLY how I feel EVERY STINKIN’ NIGHT!! And you are SO right Stephanie… I never regret when I pull myself out of myself- and give him my attention. It ALWAYS blesses our bond! Amen TO THAT sister! 🙂
This post resonates with me so well. Sometimes I feel like our schedules are so hectic certain times of the year, the leftovers are all there is. But I’m thankful to have those.
I came back to this post for research on marriage, and saw your comment! Thank you sweet friend. I love that it resonated with you too!! XOXO
Kristen Daukas says
I’m so glad you linked this with LOBS because I had somehow missed it!! I think we’ve all experienced this.. both as givers AND receivers. I know I am. Why do we give our “best” to a world that doesn’t deserve it and our “worst” to the ones who deserve the best?
Oh Kristen- I ask myself this question ALL THE TIME!! How DARE I waste all my energy on thing and people that shouldn’t be more important than the one I vowed to love most. Yeah. I get that.
(Sorry such a late response! Didn’t see this until now!)
Deb @ Urban Moo Cow says
Wow, your heart really shines through your posts. I feel calmer just for having read through a bit. And that’s a huge compliment coming from me at this point in my life. Wow.
Just seeing this Deb! Thanks so much for coming by, my friend. I’m so glad you feel my heart in my words. That’s exactly where they come from… 🙂
That’s a beautiful poem, it gave me a warm feeling inside!
Thanks Tarana! Love does that… <3
Jill @ Ripped Jeans & Bifocals says
Thank you Jill!! Inspired by the love I live… And blessed in the leftovers. <3
So beautiful! Love it.
It IS beautiful… marriage. Even and especially in the leftovers, where true love often lives. And the raw and gritty life moments dig us deeper into each other’s hearts… bringing us closer and more connected each day. I love that this scenario is beautiful to you. It’s beautiful to me too Meredith!!
Kristi Campbell says
I’m in love with your heart.
I’m crushing on yours too, girl. Totally crushing on yours… <3
Kelly Sage says
I really resonate with this. It hit me in a place that needed to wake up and remember to offer something other than leftovers more often. Thank you.
I have those ‘wake up moments’ too Kelly… and although many nights leftovers is all we have. There are many more, where we dig deep to find freshness and new vitality in our love. It takes effort- and sacrifice… but that is where true love lives. In both. <3
I hadn’t thought about it in quite this way before, but I can see it. Great post Chris.
Thanks Yvonne! It’s how we find our love many nights… but it’s beautiful really. Because it is always true- even in the leftovers. <3
So beautiful and true, Chris! I’m one of those people who thinks some meals taste better leftover, so I choose to see love in the leftovers as a positive thing. The reaching for his hand as we drift off to sleep…leftovers, maybe, but still love.
Ah… That is such a beautiful visual, Dana! I just love that. Your marriage seems SO strong, and that makes my heart swell with JOY. We’re so lucky, aren’t we? <3