I’ve been a Christian for 33 years, and Lord KNOWS I have entered dry deserts, deep valleys, and massive pitfalls through my walk with Jesus. I have risen so high on His love, sometimes I feel like I am soaring from the sheer power of the Holy spirit. I have felt that soul shaking heart trembling awe of experiencing the glory of God. I have walked through my days seeking His will for my life and His direction for my path. I often listen for the whispers of His guiding voice. I have also been submerged in sin soaked waters gasping for air, begging and pleading for His Mercy.
Our walk with the Lord is never easy, nor simple.
Am I Right?
I can have moments of questioning and doubt, desperate to find validation, confirmation and evidence of His Truth. Do you? These Mustard Seed Moments, often leave me feeling empty and defeated. I can stay stuck in them for more than just one moment, and feel the anguish of everything I believe start to tremble and crack- threatening to crumble into millions of pieces. It can be terrifying to have these thoughts, these heartaches. Especially if all you ever believed to be true is now at stake. I’ve spent my life clinging to my faith, in the throes of all the wavering waves that can hit anywhere at anytime- and sometimes- it’s my faith that gets submerged in the water.
But, I’m so grateful God is always faithful in and through it all- loving me right where I am.
No matter how saturated I become in my disbelief, I find comfort in knowing that He still believes in me. No matter where I turn in search of Truth, He will be there.
And friends, I promise the same for you.
God believes in you. Yes, YOU.
And God is there for you too.
I wrote about my Mustard Seed Moment over at Her View From Home. It was one of the most difficult things I’ve ever written. Perhaps my words may resonate with you? Head over and dive into my despair, but I pray you find hope and comfort in knowing He is in those moments too.
We may dry up, fall down, plunge into pits or soar in the Spirit. We may shake and tremble in awe of His Presence in our lives. We may seek His will in all we do, and we can certainly slip off the cliffs of our mountain tops and wade in waters that are dark and murky and far from clean.
We may also doubt and question it all. Stay stuck in those Mustard Seed Moments, as those waves pull us under.
No matter all our fluctuating circumstances and our ever-changing emotions and our inconsistent decisions-
I find comfort in knowing God stays the same.
He is and always will be The Great I Am.
Mathew 17:20 NIV
He replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”
Been there my friend. Validation is something I have cried out to receive many times. Pointing out that even if our faith is just the size of a ‘mustard seed,’ all is possible with God. Thanks for this today!
My greatest comfort is knowing He has already declared in His Word that we will have times like these- and that even when our faith is shrunken to that tiny seed, it still yields His Power. I just an in awe of such a thought.
**God believes in you. Yes, YOU.** ( you mean, ME, TOO? )
Without HIM, I am nothing.
With Him, ALL things are possible.
WOW!
Thank you for the continue reminder, dear Chris.
Yes YOU!! Oh yes oh yes oh yes… YOU and YOU and YOU.
Thank YOU for always shining His Light, in a world that so desperatley needs a lighthouse like you.
I find it comforting, because sometimes I’m not sure if my faith is smaller than a mustard-seed or larger, but I still struggle to think that God thinks much of it. I hope you’re doing ok, Kitty, and I hope your faith isn’t being too, too tested at this time.
Love you <3
It’s been quite challenging, this questioning season. But I truly find resolve in all the ways God reveals himself to me, when I beg to see His Face. I’m so grateful our God is never changing amidst our constant ebb and flow of faltering and often failing Him. We have to remember His love is UNconditional, and that will always give me peace. You too, okay? And btw- you need to publish your powerful poem- so many more can see it. It is stunning. <3
I’m heading over, much your intro has me nervous…
This dive into doubt had me nervous too, Allie! And as it rises from time to time, I am always astounded how God reveals himself to me.That happens in the most creative and powerful ways- each time I beg Him to ‘show up’.
I am finding solace in your words Chris as from time to time my faith feels like nothing compare to God love. I doubt a lot. And then when I stop searching I find him waiting for me to continue the road.
Thank you for being YOU and be blessed. Always.
Marie, I’m so glad my words were a comfort to you. I am assured that no matter how much we waver, God never does. We can always land back in His arms safely.
Heading over there right now, too.
Thanks, my dear friend- for always being such a great support to me. I’m glad the poem spoke to your heart. Let’s continue to find peace, despite the questioning… <3
Oh, Chris. Bless you. Like Allie, I’m a titch concerned …
You are so sweet Kelly. I have since realized how this ebb and flow of faith – although difficult, is quite transformative. I was truly scared at first, but this questioning always seems to lead to a deeper confirmation in time. I find comfort in knowing nothing changes with God- despite our wavering. <3
I know! When Jesus told the disciples to follow Him, we should understand that it’s such a tall order. It’s never simple and live doesn’t get easier (at least at first). But then, it’s so rewarding in the end, isn’t it?
Beautiful encouragement.
That poem is so beautiful..it soars! Faith is a funny wobbly thing loke Peter taking a step out of the boat and sinking in fear but Jesus has his arms outstretched despite the fledging faith! Love the insight here! I never thought of our faith being somehow unfaithful! Or is it just our humanness filled with doubt..which actually makes us yearn for Christ more as we crawl like babies on or knees to his lap! Such a truthful post
I always love your truthfulness and vulnerability about your faith..its all not straight and narrow!
Thank you so much Kathy!! I love your take on this. When I was experiencing this trepidation, I kept telling my friends how I ‘can’t quit God’ despite my questioning. God’s such a permanent part of who I am, I think those human tendencies simply spill out on Him naturally. I believe our Father understands this all too well. 🙂 I’m so grateful for God’s grace through it all.
I always think of Jesus on the cross, asking, “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?” The journey of faith can’t be without pitfalls, even for the stoutest believer. That you felt this, and wrote this, and also wrote that, tells me you’re a living, thinking, feeling and faithful sojourner.
Oh Eli, thank you so much my friend. XOXO