Motherhood is marked by big things. We witness our children taking courageous steps, hard falls, and triumphant leaps through our journey in parenting them. There are big things we often celebrate, commiserate, and reflect upon as they grow.
Ask any mom about the big moments and she will gladly share the stories that light up her eyes and bring out that smile, or perhaps she will well up in tears at the miraculous twists and turns that brought her child through great suffering and pain. Maybe she would declare the highlights of first steps, first words, or hilarious stories that still make her laugh so hard she cries. My favorite big things are a mix of them all.
So many accounts of new stages and endured phases we can relive for the rest of our lives. There will be more to come. The big things are always big enough to remember. Memories fade through the years, and I think back on many years of motherhood with a blurry frame of mind and fainted treasures of time I no longer remember. Thank God I remember the big things. I’m just grateful I wrote my kids letters throughout those early years, to reflect back in time and find the little things I may have forgotten.
It’s those little things I want to tuck away in my memory most. Lately, I’ve realized that those little things are even more valuable than the big things. I would hate to look back on these profound parenting years and only see the big things.
I want to remember how every night my boy tells me he can’t go to sleep without my hugs and kisses and bedtime snuggles. “Mom, I need you to love on me, or I can’t go to sleep.” I want to remember how my daughter stopped in the middle of our chaotic morning rush to thank me for doing everything. Her hair braided, breakfast made, and lunch packed- she walked over to me and opened her arms, pulling me in and nuzzling her head on my neck. “Thank you so much mom, for doing everything.”
I want to remember how before every swim meet, my girl asks if I have a good feeling about this one. Always nervous, worried she won’t do well- she reaches for my affirmation and encouragement, as though I can envision the outcome. She believes me and trusts my prediction.“Mom, do you have a good feeling about this meet? Do you think I’ll do good?” “Oh, yes honey. I have a REALLY good feeling about this one.”
I want to remember the birthday songs my kids and I created, full of hilarious lyrics and pretty sweet harmonies too. I want to remember how my son never lets me forget to pray in the morning on the way to school, and either does my daughter. I want to remember all of those sweet moments that fill our everyday lives, the ones that fill me with a sense of awe and amazement and joy. The little things may go by in the whirl of the race in the mornings or in the late-night push for bed. I don’t want to miss them, lose them, or forget them. I know I’ve allowed too many to slip by already. What a shame.
From now on, I will try harder to capture those tiny moments that catch my breath and grasp them tightly in the palm of my hurried hands. The minutiae of days gone by, caring and raising these children is where the true meat of the meal is, if you think about it.
When I look back one day on the blurry hazy years of parenting my kids when I am old and my kids are grown, when they ask about the details instead of the highlights…
I want to be able to dive in and declare all the little things that truly made raising them my greatest joy. I hope I can be able to recount the small moments that offer more than the big trials and triumphs in their lives. Instead, I’ll reveal an intimate view of the hidden treasures buried deep beneath the obvious and accessible landscape of all the big things.
And each time we go down memory lane, I’ll tell them, “It’s really the little things that you want to treasure when you have kids. Don’t forget the little things.”
*This piece was originally published over on MomBabble.com.
I don’t think you need to try harder…you already are capturing the tiny moments. 🙂
Aw! Thank you so much Linda. I am SO GLAD to see you here!! I miss you, my friend. <3
Beautiful. And you WILL remember them 🙂
Thanks love. I think I’ve missed quite a few, but I *try*.
PS: I was JUST praying for your day tomorrow. You can DO THIS.
Aw, beautifully said and I am right there with you as I truly try my best to take in all the little things with my girls here, too. Hugs and thank you for the reminder <3
You do such a great job of it, Janine! Those small moments matter more than anything… 🙂
Oh Chris, you are so right. I wonder how many of those little moments that have already become hazy. But it truly is the little things that I treasure. The big accomplishments are wonderful too of course but I want to hold on to those small moments too. They might bring a smile to your face, or send your heart swelling with love, or they could even be a-ha parenting moments…I wish I’d written them down.
I know Michelle, I’ve missed many. I just know I won’t remember much of even the past five years… I wish I KEPT writing them down. Let’s try to hold on to them as best we can.
Thanks so much for coming by and sharing this one, my friend. 🙂
A wonderful post about the greatest gift we get as parents. Just this morning my teens and I had a funny conversation about the senior prank day my son’s class is creating and I simply asked him to not tell me if it was going to cause his class to be known as “that class”…lol He promised it wouldn’t be.
They grow up too fast!
I love it, Kisma! Yeah… we think we will remember it all, but I know I don’t. I hope I hold onto as many of those moments as I can. I need to work on that more. My memory is HORRIBLE!
Hi Chris! What a great point…that I’ll remember the big things, no worries about that. But the small things? That’s where life really happens. The small words, the ‘under-the-radar” laughs and kindnesses. Big things don’t happen too often, but the little moments are in the everyday.
You might want to write them down too. What beautiful things to treasure in rereading, not to mention wonderful material to write about someday too.
Blessings,
Ceil
I need to do better at writing them all down, Ceil. I got distracted once I started this blog- and then stopped writing my kids those long letters. Sigh. At least they’ll have some good stuff from here. 🙂
May daughter getting off the bus every single day: “I missed you today mama.” Gets me every single time. A nice reminder that I am in their thoughts, as they are in mine.
Well, except the other daughter says “can I have computer time when I get home?”
Win some, lose some. LOL But, it’s all good at the end of the day still.
LOLOL!!! Oh that’s priceless Leslie! I get it. My kids will do similar things. Let’s hold on to those wins! 🙂
Christine!! Do tender and exquisite! I love how you also document these small profound memories here..how I long to remember more of such moments..I just saw a baby and shuttered at how time has gone by sp quickly. Hold on to these precious gifts! Keep praying in the car..I regret I stopped (out loud) when teen years took over. Such a beautiful post!
I hope my kids still *want* to pray out loud in the car and together when they are teens! Oh, do I hope for that…
I am convicted as I continue to think of all those moments that are lost in my memory… I must be more intentional about documenting them.
I absolutely love this, Chris! Thank you for sharing all of your sweet little memories. I so wish I would have written my kids letters when they were young. I’m kind of stuck with the big things for now. Someone mentioned keeping a note on my phone with the little daily things. I really need to start that :). I want to “capture those tiny moments that catch my breath” too, my friend. Beautiful.
Thanks so much Candace! I love that idea about keeping a note on your phone. I may need to try that too. I know I have missed so much and my memory is fading FAST.
Lovely! It reminds me of the Dr. Seuss quote – “Sometimes, you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory.” So true, isn’t it? sometimes we get so busy we let those little slip by without much notice, but those are the spic of life. Thanks for the reminder!
I love that quote, Lisa! *EXACTLY that*
Life keeps flying by and I forget to document those precious moments… I just hope I can hold on to more of the memories. I’ve lost many along the way.
This is simply beautiful…
“When I look back one day on the blurry hazy years of parenting my kids, when I am old and my kids are grown, when they ask about the details instead of the highlights….”
Oh you took my breath away. How often I think about when they’re older and what they’ll remember, and what I’ll remember. I cringe when I think that they may remember the mom who went on about all the messes… but I smile when I think of all the special little things. Like the special birthday traditions, the evening “chats” and snuggles, the cuddling on the sofa watching a show, and the family game nights.
Thank you for sharing.
xoxo
Those are beautiful moments you described, Jennifer! I could feel the joy rising from your words. 🙂
I wonder what my kids will remember too…
It’s in the everyday moments that life happens. I have plastic containers holding children’s handmade treasures of years gone by. Although they now sit on the top of a closet shelf, and I do not open them, just seeing them there reminds me of those elementary school days. Keep doing what you are doing, Christine. Sounds like you are wise in your priorities, moment by moment.
I love that you still have those treasures kept in the closet, Lynn. I think I am missing so much- forgetting too much. I need to be more intentional about writing it all down now- like I used to do. The older I get the worse my memory is!
Yes Chris, the Little Things are the Greatest!
Since the day my little one is born, I do try to write (once a week) about these little things that make me glad and happy, all the small changes he is going through.
If we concentrate on all the little things in our lives, we’ll see that Life is perfect the way it is. The Little Things are and will always make the difference.
And you are right our kids will love it too!
Thanks for this gentle reminder. You made my day my friend.
Love from sunny Paris
I LOVE that you write down those moments every week! That is wonderful, my friend. 🙂
Love from snowy Ohio in spring. LOL
(Can I come to Paris?)
So true and yet so hard sometimes to remember! You’re off to a good start, you’ve remember some extraordinary moments already. You’re a great mom Chris. Thanks for reminding me to breathe – as we head out on an 11 hour drive home from spring break;)!
I hope you made it home and had a smooth drive with the kids, Allie!
You are so sweet and I love your encouragement. I feel the exact same way about you, my friend. You are an AMAZING mother.
It’s silly but it’s my Facebook Memories feature that makes me remember all of the little things I forgot. But what if I didn’t have the app? I want to drink in and remember those moments anyway!
That is actually a very cool way to remember those things Tamara! I don’t share enough on FB to have too many little things there, but I love that you can have them documented like that!
Yes, so well said and so TRUE! It makes me think of yesterday afternoon. Eve and I were in the kitchen and I was cleaning up for dinner. We brought her little tent castle into the kitchen because she really wanted to be in her castle AND in the kitchen with me. I put on some music and we had a little dance party. It wasn’t anything new or big, but it’s moment like those that being a parent is all about (and as I write this, I have tears in my eyes as I think about how happy we both were in that moment). This reminds me that I need to do a better job of writing things like this down.
YES!!! Don’t you wish you could have taped that? I can picture it… you and Eve dancing in the kitchen. Just SO sweet!! Write it down. Write it all down!!
Love this. I, too, embrace all the little things in life. Some of my favorite memories are the random ones…the impromptu dance parties, the picnics on the dining room, etc.
Exactly, Cary! Those moments are the ones we need to hold onto and remember… 🙂
Oh my gosh, this is a hugely important point. I wish I knew just how much I’d forget when my kids were younger. Heartbreaking to know I let so many memories fade from not writing those little things down. But, I did write some of then down, and you’re right, they’re priceless. My kids constantly want to hear stories about things they did and said, and sometimes I run out of things to say because I didn’t write enough of it down! Oh, if I could give one bit of advice to new parents, that would be it. Write it down!!! A huge motivating factor to have a blog:) Have a happy day Christine.
I’ve let so so many of them go too, Julie. Sigh… Such important advice for all new moms indeed! I was JUST telling my Cass about the time she got into the feathers (in the craft bin) while I was on a work call. She threw them all over and then proceeded to do snow angels in them all over the floor. Here’s the kicker- when I came back to her after the call, she had stripped naked and peed all over them. Yeah.
It was the worst *clean up* EVER. We still found feathers embedded in the carpet for years. lol
That stuff I remember. 🙂
*SOB* it’s so so true, isn’t it? It’s the little moments that make our kids who they are. The hug and thanks from Cass, the “love on me…” You know what you did? By writing it here, you are remembering and you can go back and read this and one day your kids can read it and know how very loved they are. XXOO
EXACTLY Kristi! (Another motivation for publishing it over here) Do you know I print out the posts that are about them and save them in separate boxes for each of them? I do. 🙂