Post Surgery Update
It is 6:00am, and I have been lying in bed in pain awake for hours. This surely isn’t easy my friends, but I know it can only get better from here. I kept thinking of how so many of you precious loved ones might be wondering about me, and I thought I would just give you a brief update so I don’t wrestle with feeling the burden of wanting to reach you as I lay back in bed again and again until I feel well enough to plunge back into life.
For those of you have read this entire story, I gotta tell ya this part! I was escorted back to pre-op where I immediately saw my surgeon down the hallway at the computer. I yelled out to her to catch her attention and asked if she had her power drink today waving both thumbs up in the air! (Apparently, nobody does this sort of behavior… only I do.) She gave me that awkward smile and nod. I felt assured. Ha! She was nice enough to come visit me and chat about her pregnancy and that she is feeling good and I told her I wrote all about her and my fears on my blog. She’s just lovely. I absolutely adore personable Doctors. They make a world of difference.
During the two- hour pre-op fun, my dear friend and pastor came to visit Derek and I, and keep me company with lots of laughter and hugs. I am just so blessed and grateful for him. I was getting especially tired of waiting with my caffeine detox induced headache and my stomach gurgling… all hooked up and ready to go, until they came in quick and swooped me away. I vaguely remember yelling with frantic surprise as they pushed me down the corridor, “What did you put in me? Something is happening!!!! Oh God… I’m getting all weird!” My husband and my Pastor/friend laughed at my exit. I giggle to myself at the thought of it. Classic Chrissy.
The surgery went well! Unfortunately they scoop your drug induced limp mumbling self into a wheelchair and push you out the door, the moment you can slur a coherent sentence and peel open your eyes. I was worth not much of anything afterward, but being escorted in my anesthesia-induced stupor up to bed when we got home last night. I listened to the children outside and my neighbor’s bull horn go off every time a child neared his lawn of outstretched tombstones. I’m not too fond of his yearly tradition of ghastly goodness.
I was in a lot of pain. And completely out of it. I don’t do anesthesia or narcotics well at all. I am still dizzy and sick and weak and shaky from what loads of medicine they put in me yesterday, as I’m sure it will take the weekend to really clear me out. From now on…I am on Tylenol. That’s it. And if I were to describe the pain I am feeling now, I guess it comes close to a bat to the side of my head, ear and neck. I can’t open my mouth. So I slurp drinks and yogurt to get something in me. My jaw radiates a pain with a throbbing pulse, and my ear aches deep within and all around. The incision starts at the front middle part of my ear and curves around to the back of my neck. It’s ugly, people. Much like a frightening Halloween monster. No stitches or gauze… just some kind of film covering and crusting on it as it’s seeping blood and oozing crud out of it, and completely grossing me out. I don’t know what the stuff’s name is that is keeping the incision together, but apparently it will? I’m not so convinced. I can’t turn my neck anyway, but I feel like every time I move I am breaking open the incision, as I hear popping and crackling. My throat and chest still hurt, apparently from being incubated.
I am so relieved I had set up sleep-overs for the kids last night. It would have been dreadful for them to see me in the state I was in. I miss them so much. I wondered about them all day and night. I know they called Derek to talk to him and see how I was. I know they are worried. I want to go to the school today and see them, but I am not sure I can stay upright or stand for that long. Not to mention, I would scare all the children with my wound anyway. I am so weak. Ugh. I hate this.
But ya know what? I am filled with so much joy! I am so grateful I made it through the surgery. I have an amazing husband that is caring for me, beautiful children that had a fun Halloween, and this gorgeous and comfortable home to stay in. I constantly think about all the incredibly rich relationships I have, that fulfill me with innumerable blessings every day. I am incredibly encouraged by the thoughts and prayers of so many people I love. I am so deeply grateful. So thankful…
I hope to dive back into life soon. For now, it’s back to bed. God bless you all.
I love you. XO