Our first day of summer was May 22nd. We dove straight into the pool that first week and never looked back. It’s been a busy season with swim team and day camps and cook outs and social events. And yet, I still struggle with letting go of my online life to live in the offline world. I’m guessing that many bloggers are challenged by the summer season, where kids are home from school and summer fun is begging to be had by all. And despite my convictions to be in the moment and grab at all the good that summer brings, I still suffer from the pull of all things blogging that often haunts my peace when I am not getting things “done”.
It’s been a slow weaning process, and I am still working on how to balance it all. I want to stay in the online world I hold so dear to my heart and continue all my amazing relationships with so many blogging friends. I want to read up on the countless blogs I follow, and support my fellow comrades as much as I can. I want to peruse Facebook for hours to see all the pictures and statuses of beloved friends and I surely want to respond to so many posts that are constantly being shared in Facebook groups I belong to and the communities that I treasure online.
But I can’t do it all. I can’t.
My days fly by in a blur of driving my kids ‘to and from’ about a dozen times a day, feeding them constantly and doing the endless chores that parenting two active kids entails. My laundry piles grow in the summer, as do my grocery bills. The time to sit in front of my laptop and soak in the words of others from around the world is limited at best. And as much as I long to dive in and continue to write and read and share and engage, I find that I am sacrificing one for the other too many times.
So what to do?
That is the question I have been asking myself since summer began.
I’ve let go of a lot of blogging responsibilities, through the force of nature really. Time IS limited, no matter how much we try to stretch the minutes out. So as I have attempted to squeeze in as much blog activity as possible during those ever slight ‘in-betweens’ of living, I feel like I fail miserably at keeping up. Oh, how I wish I could do it all.
Don’t you?
But I can’t. You can’t. NO one can.
So I began making some decisions that will set some boundaries to my blogging and hopefully allow me to live freely this summer without feeling the constant pull and pressure from the online world. Maybe these ideas will help you too…
1. I limit my Facebook engagement by turning off all notifications that go directly to my email inbox. This was hard at first to do, because I wondered what I was missing all the time, and when I would go onto Facebook , I felt overwhelmed at all the posts I missed and all the people I would want to interact with about oh so many things! Most bloggers are involved in several Facebook groups, and there are many I love with people I consider close friends. It’s hard to not invest my time with them all, and even harder to feel like I have ignored or neglected so many sharing threads, questions, concerns, status updates and blog information between them all. But now, I make a conscious decision to dive into Facebook when I know I have about an hour to engage as much as I can during that time, and that is my limit. Not having all my notifications go into my inbox is incredibly liberating to me. Most bloggers know all too well, that if you take a day ‘off’ from online world, there will be hundreds of email notifications to sort through when you return. I no longer have that to worry about! WOOT!
2. I limit my link up parties, sharing threads, and blog reading. I enjoy link up parties so very much, and Facebook group sharing threads too! There are so many great writers I love to read, and these are wonderful ways to discover new writers and blogs. They are also time consuming. I don’t have that kind of time in the summer to visit many who participate in these wonderful opportunities, so I will only do this when I can and when the topic for link ups really inspires me.
3. I will write when I am inspired, and not force a post. Oh, I have so much I want to write about! But when the summer fun and busyness continues, I find myself not wanting to sit down and really delve into sorting through my thoughts and words. When I feel the pressure to publish a post, I will weigh it against my writer’s gut… and not write just to post something. It’s tempting to simply pull off a post just to keep my blog active, but that isn’t why I write. If I write to inspire and encourage, then it must come from a deeper place. If I don’t feel it, I won’t write it. It’s okay, if my blog sits for a week empty of new fresh content, because chances are- all my readers are out offline having their summer fun too.
4. I will try to read at least five blogs a day. This is totally doable. It’s a small amount for all the blogs I know and love, but at least it will keep me in touch with many bloggers I love to follow and also keep me connected to the blog world. It’s my minimum expectation, which will lower my stress level too. If I somehow find a good block of time to read more blogs, then surely I will! But as a safeguard to feeling overwhelmed, I will go by the five a day rule.
5. I will limit all my social media engagement by setting a time limit. Whether we are on Pinterest or Twitter or Facebook or Google Plus or Instagram… and many, many more social media outlets- this is where time truly takes rapid speed. It’s amazing how we can spend what feels like a few minutes on any of these wonderful outlets… only to find an hour has flown by, or maybe more! This is another area I will set firm boundaries on, and only enter these ‘time warps’ when I have the actual free time to do so. Sure, I will miss a ton of good stuff- but at what cost? Sacrificing real life images, conversations, and activities. I want to live them, rather than read about them.
6. And lastly… and this is the most important one, and the hardest choice of all. I will NOT feel guilty for setting these limits! I love my blog friends just as much as my offline friends! When I set these limits, I feel like I am being rude, perhaps disrespectful, or even neglectful of friendships I cherish. It feels a bit like I am not returning a phone call, or stopping by for a much needed visit with a real life friend. It truly does. It feels like when you are with a group of friends chatting it up, and one friend never responds. It feels like when your friend is hosting a party and you don’t show up. It feels like a friend who shares her account of a raw and powerful experience, and you don’t hug her and comfort her aching heart. These are the things I might miss… from the Facebook groups, the blogs, the social media, and ultimately my time off the online world. It’s so very difficult to let go…
But as with all friendships- there are seasons that wax and wane and the solid ones make it through. Much like our beloved offline friendships, the love and respect and admiration holds on- even when time flies and weeks go by without seeing one another and sitting together sharing our detailed busy lives.
So I will trust that despite the distance, and the deliberate disconnect- my beloved bloggers and I will do as friends do, love each other through this stretch of thin air and full sun…
And check in from time to time to say “I miss you and can’t wait to catch up soon! Hope you are having a wonderful summer!”
Oh, and hey-
I really do miss you, and cannot WAIT to catch up soon!! I hope you are having a wonderful summer!!
Right there with you and have been totally unplugging more myself. I honestly am limiting what I post this summer, as well to be more present with my girls, because I know I don’t want to miss a moment of this time with them. So if that means I lose a few views here and there so be it. I am not going to cry over it or lose sleep. I think all we can do is our for are kids and the rest just has to be I suppose.
Exactly, Janine!! It somehow comforts me to know other bloggers are doing the same! We all deserve that break, and to be present in our children’s lives!!
This will be our first summer blogging and I was curious how to balance, thank you for the suggestions!
It’s really hard to balance it all, especially during the summer!! I think it’s really about priorities, and being intentional with our time. Much like all year round, but even more invested in what matters most! Good luck and I know we will stay in touch, my friend!!!
First, I love the new look! Like, LOVE it!
Second, are we twins? I’ve been dealing with this change the past few weeks, too. I literally just emailed another blogging friend how I’m accepting the “new” look of writing and blogging this summer. I’m letting go of my usual school year expectations, and just being present with my kids and whatever I have time to do. Whatever I can do is what I’m meant to do. It’s perfect just the way it is, even if it’s not up to my expectations. I’m so glad to know I’m not alone, and I love your summer tips for unplugging and staying present with those who matter the most.
Love ya, girl!
Thank you SO much about my blog redesign, Charity! I do love it too!!
We are twins? Oh how I love the sound of that!! I couldn’t think of anyone else I’d rather be twins with than you!! Yes… to it all! We really need to honor the shift in our summer season and limit what we truly can do. “What I can do is what I’m meant to do.” <--- LOVE that.
Oh momma, I get this! Especially with being on my summer road trip. This week I am at my sister-in-laws, so I have more time (and actually co-hosting a link up tonight), but the next three weeks I will be in a different place EVERY night. No way can I keep up. But I do have my faves (you:), who I will stay with:). And FB – LETTING it GO this summer, for real. Just doing instragram. Easier to manage. Have a WONDERFUL SUMMER!
YOU are going to do it RIGHT, girl!! I just love love love all your summer traveling plans!! And I meant to get back to your blog to tell you that I am in Westerville!! Just mere minutes from Gahanna… sigh. To think we were SO close. 🙂
I’ve had to set limits for myself in order to finish my book and just keep up with life. #1 is huge! I’ve had to cut back on reading blogs, which kills me, but there’s only so much time in the day. Finding that balance is hard, but so important!
It really is so important to define our priorities and invest in them, much like your book and your life all around Jennifer! It is really hard, but as you said- SO important!
This concern has been following me around this week, as well. I hate losing the writing habit over the summer, but as a recent conference as me taking a step back on blogging and my future direction…sigh.
I think turning off FB emails is huge. I’m half tempted to take FB off my phone for the summer as it is…
My main goal this summer is to be more present.
I love that you can take FB off your phone, Jenn! I am going to do that now too, since you mentioned it. I rarely pay attention to them, but boy do they clog up my phone! I hope you can take this break to really find peace in your blog direction and it’s mission/purpose. I know how difficult it is to do that, but so important to really feel clarity about it too!
Your main goal is perfect. Amen to that.
These are great suggestions, Chris! I’m wondering how I am going to manage this summer, and it would probably be good to come up with a strategy before summer is in full swing! Another thing that might help is with Facebook is to create an Interest list of those pages that you most like to interact with, and then just click on that so you get a filtered view that shows what you want to see the most when you have time (rather than wading thru everything in the short time that you have).
And I LOVE your new blog look by the way!!
Thanks so much Michelle! I really love the new look too! And thank you for that incredible advice! I never thought about doing that, and I tell you- when I DO get on FB, I scroll through advertisements and updates and posts I do not need to see!! Drives me nuts! Your idea is brilliant. 🙂 Good luck with finding your own balance, my friend.
Chris, I think this is the perfectest of perfect plans, and I’ve been doing something similar for about six months, when it comes mostly to Facebook. I’ve found that I can read a lot more of the blogs I love if I don’t “do” facebook, or I can do facebook. As you said, it feels icky and icky when you realize how much you’ve missed but also we just have to choose. When I’m dying, my son will either remember that I had time to kick the ball with him or that I was on my computer. xxoo for you writing this.
AMEN to THAT, Kristi!! Here’s to being IN the moment. I love that you have been so intentional with your balancing act as well. Good for YOU. 🙂
Such wise, wise goals, Chris. I was a swim mom and well know the demands of just that one sport. It’s all consuming. I’ll miss your lovely, thoughtful comments and will come hunt you down come September! Have a wonderful, unplugged Summer of fun.
OH girl, let me tell you- I will most definitely be coming by to read your incredible posts!! Seriously. You’re one of my faves, Kelly. I can’t stay away from your words!! I’m just so glad we have connected. <3
I totally agree with #3 and #6. Go live your life, Chris! We’ll still be here. I remember when I had my first child so long ago and I really struggled to get to church and be comfortable there with a fussy newborn. Some wise person said, “church will be there.” I so needed to hear that.
Exactly Katy! I’m so glad that wise person told you that. We stress out too much about missing things, and the struggle makes us miserable! Thanks for your encouragement, my friend! Have an awesome summer!
I am on board with every single item on your list. You know I’ll be here , even if we both visit less this summer. I hope it’s a great one Chris!
Aw! Thanks Dana, and you know I feel the same way about you. I KNOW you will have an amazing summer, and I am just thrilled about that for you! Enjoy and embrace it all, and I can’t wait to read about it someday. 🙂
Whoooooosh. Chris, this was so good for me to read. I just started my blog late spring of this year. Not sure what the heck I was thinking launching it right before summer vacation. I recently wrote a post about which moments my children will remember, and I don’t want them to remember just me sitting in front of the monitor. I want them to remember me playing pingpong and mowing the lawn and listening to what they have to say and pulling through the drive through at Dairy Queen. But, then there’s that pull within in me to write the things down and read the things other people are writing down and not wanting my new blog to flop, sitting there all by myself listening to crickets. I LOVE this post and will use it to help me keep the balance this summer.
Julie, you JUST started your blog? I fell in love with your writing – your gift, from the first post I read. <3 I am just so glad you decided to publish your words for all to read.
And you describe the struggle SO perfectly! I struggle most with wanting to spend the hours writing about those moments I am living and wanting to read about so many other inspiring moments from beautiful writers like you.
Here's what I've learned, in over five years with my blog... Much like everything else- it will all be here when we get back. It's much like a big public swimming pool on a very hot day. The activity never ends, and we can come and go and dive in at any time. 🙂 Pace yourself from the start, and you won't burn out. I've seen so many amazing bloggers grow too exhausted and stop blogging. It breaks my heart! Think marathon, not sprint!
Yes to all of this! I turned off all of my Facebook notifications awhile back and I haven’t turned back yet. I plan on scaling back on blogging this summer. There are so many things I want to do with Eve and other projects for the business that I want to work on. I want to worry less about blogging and social media and enjoy the summer. I think we all need (and deserve!) a break. And while Eve is too young for summers to be any different from the rest of the day in terms of our schedule, I still want to take full advantage of the summertime.
“I want to worry less about blogging and social media and enjoy the summer.” <----- EXACTLY Bev!! You and me, girl. Lets take 'full advantage' of the summertime for sure! Embrace those moments with your precious Eve. <3
Hi Chris: I certainly understand the realities of balancing family life and work/blogging life. The summer is really tough, with all of the fun and craziness. I’ve found myself setting social media limits, not just during the summer, in order to keep the balance working. I hope that your new balance works out for you during the summer, and once the school year starts up again as well!
I love that you set limits for social media all year round, Anna. There really needs to be a balance every season, not just summer! I’m still ‘perfecting’ my own, but I am beginning to feel the weight lifted and true liberation with my plan!
Summer break hasn’t started for us yet.. and the kids will be in camp (by choice) for the month of July so I don’t know if I’ll let go too much, but something certainly will give! Maybe I’ll post only twice a week instead of three times. Oooh, such a rebel.
You are daring to change to TWO a WEEK?????!!!!! Oh girl!!! DO IT! DO IT!! DO IT! (Hear my chanting?) 😉
Unplugging is relaxing! So it’s just a good idea to do that this summer.
Have more fun in the sun and less online. I think that’s my cue for logging out. 🙂
YES! That is my plan, Lux! And good for YOU, for taking that cue! 🙂
Some great tips! I especially like the “turn off notifications” one — I still have them coming to my email – but I turned them off on my phone. I check my email a couple of times a day and move stuff over to folders for “get to later” ones. The same with blogs – I move them to a folder and get them to either all in one chunk if I know I have the free time, or aim for 10 per day. because I am super fast reader.
I got read of Pinterest long ago, and I only use Twitter to share my own posts, and others I like. I don’t really engage much on there because it’s a huge time suck. Instagram is losing it’s appeal too; even though I love photography of course.
I really just want to narrow it all down to what my first love is: Writing. All those other things take time away from actual writing. and reading other blogs is a part of that because you all are so inspiring. What did I do in summer when I was a child? Well, certainly I was off having adventures — but when I got home – I wrote about them. I loved putting those adventures down to the page, drawing my childish pictures in the margins. and then show it off to anyone I could find.
I really think we should hold on to those first loves. I think that’s the real Us.
I just love all these ways to unplug! I really need to stop checking Facebook so often. I need to enjoy summer with my girls, and I really want to write more…I have so many post ideas and they are not getting written! And of course, I want to read more blogs. 5 a day sounds doable!
I’ve decided to let go of other things besides blogging: Personal hygiene, lawn care and sleep.
Not real smart, eh? I wouldn’t do that. I believe there exists that line between bliss and chore that we just have to find. Blogging should never feel like a chore. Find that line where it still makes you happy to do it, and whatever it looks like – for frequency, engagement, all the stuff – live there.
And every month, take stock of where you are to make sure you’re still in the right spot.
I totally understand and think it’s great to set limits. But, I wonder if I can do this. I guess we’ll see. Have a great summer!!
This is exactly where my head is at right now. I’m in – I’m with you! Two days into our official summer break I can see that there is much less time to spend at the online world, so I’m working out time limits, etc. just like you.
Love this. Have a great summer!
Great tips! I LOVE #3 and #6. I will write only when I feel like it and not feel guilty on my off days. These summer days are fleeting and I don’t want to be stuck behind a screen instead of playing w/ my kids. While we were on vacation I forced myself to limit my FB surfing…and it was great! I survived and had a great vacation.
I can’t believe you guys were out of school May 22. We just ended this past Monday, June 15, so this post is really relevant for my life. Thanks for the wise words. I will keep you posted if and when I can do it.