Today I decided to share what I am most thankful for, as I reflect and reclaim my truths. My truths. Although they are not always beautiful or good or perfect in any way, they are mine. I will embrace them with a new-found passion and purpose, so that I can once again find my footing and settle my ground. Sometimes when life whirls the winds breaking apart your pieces, you need to pull them all back together. So with intention and acceptance, I will once again, define who I am through my truths.
1. I am a good mother. I care for, protect and nurture the needs of my children. I attend to them in every way possible to ensure they are able to grow into the beautiful creations God formed them to be. I work endlessly to keep a clean organized home and to offer the provisions necessary for my family to thrive.
2. I am a good wife. I am a loving and serving woman, who meets the needs of my husband and finds joy in doing so. I place him as my priority on a daily basis, and he feels fulfilled and satisfied with our marriage.
3. I am super sensitive. I have always had a fragile heart. I am affected by every word and action that is directed at me. It penetrates me deeply, to my core.
4. I struggle constantly with anxiety. There is no way around it, only through it. And when I am overwhelmed by circumstances that surround me, I will retreat. When I feel threatened or vulnerable, I will coil up and crumble in my hiding place. I cannot function properly when I am in turmoil or under pressure, so I rarely can be fully present or engage.
5. My history hurts. I have lived a life of brokenness and pain that only I can claim as my truth. Through twisted turns of circumstances and choices that paved my path, I realize my story as my own. I will honor it always.
6. I never intend to offend. There is nothing that hurts me more, than discovering I have offended someone through my words or actions. There are times when I do without even realizing it, and I spiral down into self-hatred and regret. I never ever set out to offend. Never.
7. I spend my days reaching out and loving as many people as I can, because I have an intense concern and calling for people God puts in my path. I have lived this truth all my life, and I am passionate about it. This will never change.
8. I have never been a morning person- I thrive at night. I can’t get up and go like so many people, I need time to wake up and drink coffee and adjust to the day. I can function quite brilliantly for my kids every day, to get them fed and lunches packed and safely and soundly off to school. But any chance I am given to sleep in, I will take it. Somehow I have managed to have a successful life despite this truth.
9. I am a good person. I have never claimed to be great, and I never will. And although I make mistakes every single day of my life, I believe in my heart and soul and mind… that I am good.
10. God is in me. I cannot talk about who I am, what I am reading, what I am doing, what my goals and dreams and passions are without sharing God’s place in it all. Christ is my refuge, my mercy, my hope, my healer, my power, my joy, my comfort, and my greatest truth that defines who I am. I never ever force this truth on anyone, yet His Glow still abounds.
I am mostly thankful that although these truths are solely mine, I have so many beautiful people who honor them and still love me for who I am.