I remember vividly, those long dark nights and empty days of life as a first time mom. I remember the tears, the fear, and the constant anxiety that welled up over and over again, as I tried to care for my baby. I remember the countless days with no end in sight…and the terrifying nights of no sleep as this anguish settled into my heart questioning what to do to make my baby well. I remember feeling utterly alone, and desperate to find peace in it all. I remember the emotional toll of heightened hormones and unpredictable turns and twists in what was supposed to be a miraculous and beautiful journey into motherhood. These years were the hardest years of my life, having babies who didn’t sleep, who were sick all the time, and who seemed to cry relentlessly.
Oh, how I remember.
I remember fits of rage and the breakdown of tears. I remember the exhaustion and the belief that I couldn’t continue one more second, one more minute, one more day in it all.
And I remember the profound love for my child that kept me going- every second, every minute, every day I wanted to surrender and give up.
I recently read a book that reflected many stories about the suffering, the struggles, and the undeniable love that women have endured and survived through their own motherhood experience. It was incredibly profound, to learn of so many women who have been through their own darkness and managed to survive through it all. As I read each powerful story that these remarkably brave women shared, I was reminded of my own desperate moments in those early years, and I immediately felt a new sense of comfort in knowing I was not alone.
“Mothering Through the Darkness” was inspired by two talented women, Jessica Smock and Stephanie Sprenger, who were determined to create an anthology that offers mothers a voice in shining a light on a very profound and private subject that needs more support, awareness, connection, and community. There are moms everywhere who struggle with Post Partum Depression, anxiety, palpable pain and secret anguish behind the closed doors of homes everywhere. There are moms who are terrified at their own emotions, thoughts, and purpose in parenting.
This book is needed.
It represents the whispered anguish of moms who are starving for help, encouragement, and support in what can be a very isolating and terrifying existence. It offers hope that women who have endured such traumatic hardships, have survived with both the wisdom and the strength to share their own powerful tales with the intention of helping moms out there who may be suffering themselves.
Moms who are drowning in the depths of despair, need to know they are not alone, there is help for them, and most of all-
As I read through each woman’s story, I was captivated by the detailed descriptions they all shared so authentically. Many of them brought me to tears, as so much of it resonated with my own experience. I was surprised at my own personal response to this book. Although I was prepared to be deeply moved and saddened by the trials of so many precious mamas who went through such hardships, I was also comforted by them.
Even years later, my own memories of those early years still haunts me, and this book helped me truly realize I was never alone in barely surviving those blurry traumatic moments, days, weeks, months, years that seemed to go on and on devouring my own sanity.
I could share each and every story here, because there isn’t one that isn’t important, significant, and inspiring. I hope and pray that if you know someone who may be struggling as a mom- that you would reach out to them, help them, and perhaps get this book for them. I KNOW it would help, it would heal, and it would give that mom an anchor to hold onto while she feels she is drowning.
Oh how I pray this book falls into the hands of mamas everywhere who need that live-saving lifeboat right now, to lift them out of those deep dark waters that can often feel like a torrential flood.
Please help share this powerful resource with someone. It will not only comfort them, but guide them through some very important ways they can be lifted out of their own darkness. Through this collection of raw and real stories, you will read many ways these mothers found a way to help themselves manage their anxiety, depression, OCD, anger, fears, grief, apathy, suicidal thoughts, utter exhaustion, failure, brokenness, psychiatric diagnoses, mental health issues, dangerous distress, and much more.
This book needs to be placed in the hands of many who suffer in silence.
One of the most profound stories I read was written by Alexandra Rosas. What struck me was how she received the help she needed so desperately. It came in the form of a tuned in and compassionate labor and delivery nurse who sensed something was ‘off’ with Alexandra and followed up with her at home a few days after discharge. It was the call that saved her.
“On the morning she called, at the sounds of her voice asking me how I was, and if everything was all right, I could only answer by choking with tears. She asked me for my address and told me to sit and wait, and promised, “I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”
I held on to the phone, and the emotion I’d been hiding from everyone else burst through.
The depth of this sadness brought me to my knees. Clutching my chest, I sobbed. Heaving and gasping, and not understanding any of what was happening to me.
….Tears streamed down my cheeks as I stood at the window and watched for Mardi. I had to make it, to hold on, for the twenty minutes until she got there. My life had become just that- surviving small blocks at a time.”
Because of an intuitive and compassionate nurse, who took the time and the effort to check in on Alexandra, and had the incredible heart of compassion and comfort to reach out to her…
This precious mom received the help she so urgently needed.
“I was saved by a woman who knew just what I needed. The hope that she gave me is the only way that I survived.”
This message is for us all.
There are women everywhere suffering, suffocating, and desperate for a Mardi to show up in their lives.
May we all keep our eyes open and dive into those deep debilitating waters that some moms are submerged in and help them come up for air. And if you are one of those moms who are suffering quietly in the confines of your own home, trying to survive your own darkness…
Please know you are not alone. You can get help. Take those scary first steps and reach out to your doctor, your friend, your nurse. There is hope and healing on the other side.
From those of us who have been there…
Go buy the book HERE. If not for you, perhaps for someone else.
*I was honored to have the opportunity to receive this book in exchange for an honest review.*