I need to breathe.
My house is a mess. I have Christmas glitter particles everywhere and food droppings from the last week still scattered along with the dust bunnies and dirt on my floor. There are mounds of laundry waiting to be washed and I honestly can’t tell you when I last changed the sheets. I stare at a tub full of Christmas crafts I have set out to make with the kids. The tree and most of the house decorations are up, but the ornaments will go on tomorrow night with the kids and hubs…
The Elf will be making his little appearance in the midst of my kids’ slumber. It took me an hour to find that little sucker… I thought I had hidden it so well, that it was forever gone. Moments of panic were had, until the last tub revealed that nutty looking red figurine wrapped tightly in a reindeer blanket. I had no idea that I hid it there. No idea.
My list of things to do is scribbled on random pieces of paper that are either stuffed in my drawer or lost in my car. I don’t know where or how to begin this Yuletide Season without any kind of clarity or plan. The weekend spent with loved ones and major food consumption was delightful, yet attempting to navigate the loss of structure and not one moment without the kids, left me with some dangling frazzled nerves.
And here we are.
Here it is.
The Holy Season is upon us.
The Advent has begun.
And it is the most frantic, hurried and stressful time of the year.
Season’s Greetings, my friends.
Here we go…
I wish I were one of those people who could just go with the flow of life’s moments and embrace them as they come without constantly feeling the simmering weight that grows so heavy on my heart. I need things in order and completed with calculated conditions.
Clearly, I’m crazy.
If I am not prepared and acclimated to the moment that blows in on the Spirit, I can’t breathe it in correctly. I hyperventilate with short panicked air-trapping breaths and function right through it.
Man, I so wish I was free-flowing. I want to be the person who welcomes the wonder and breathes it in with deep reverence when it comes.
My functioning self over-rides my passionate heart. I miss it. I miss the magic. Over and over again.
I want to exchange my productivity for peace.
I want to change the dialogue in my frantic thoughts and frenzied steps and intentionally, purposefully…
Take it in.
This season, I am going to use the power of purposeful intention. I am going to stop myself in the midst of my scurried ‘to do’ and just…
Take it in.
Each Holiday party and gathering I attend. Each event or activity I plan. Each card I write and treat I bake. Each ornament that is hung. Each toy that is bought. Each cookie that is made. Each bible story that is read. Each candle that is lit. Each gift that is wrapped. Each prayer that is spoken. Each errand that I run. Each Christmas craft created. Each dustpan filled with glitter. Each melted candle and home-baked food. Each off-key piano Christmas tune. Each note the elf writes and Santa sighting. Each flicker of enchantment in my children’s eyes. Each holiday house lit with wonder. Each hot cocoa cup and snowflake falling. Each family visit and phone call made. Each glorious verse of every beautiful song. Each picture taken and sermon given…
I won’t let it echo off the chambers of an empty, busy and frantic heart.
I will breathe it in. Slowly. With intention.
I will compel myself to…
Take it in.
These moments matter.
They will be either scattered bits of memories or cherished treasures of history.
Would you join me?