Hey you…
Yeah you.
Are you hurting?
Physically. Mentally. Emotionally.
Are you broken in any of those places?
I see you suffering.
I see you in your painful circumstances-
And I wonder…
How do you treat yourself?
In your darkest, hardest, most painful moments…
What do you say to you?
I have a feeling it’s not nice.
Do you berate yourself? Viciously verbally attacking your suffering body, your ailing mind, your limited abilities with whispers of “What the hell is wrong with me? Why can’t I be well? I suck. I am weak. I hate myself. I don’t deserve ____, I can’t even ____, I’ll never____, Why even try? I wish I was someone else. I give up. ”
When you’re lying in bed, under your blankets, crying in pain, what do you tell yourself?
When you wake up, with sweat saturating your sheets and your mind is twisted into knots of panic…And you simply cannot face this day.
How do you respond?
I’d like you to listen closely to your inner voice. I’d like you to pay attention to how you treat yourself.
You have great power. Do you know that?
You can either surrender to your pain with the comforting whispers of grace or punish who you are with whipping chains of hostility.
Which side do you take in the battle?
Are you on your side?
What weapons do you use to fight the circumstance you’re in?
I fear you are under attack, and your enemy is you.
Are you holding yourself captive in loathing who you are?
In your weakest state, do you wage war with a vicious vengeance on the innocent, unarmed, wounded warrior that is you?
I see you on the battlefield…
Your fleet is self destruction. Your army, self defeat. The terrain has endless possibilities to expose the fragile vulnerabilities awaiting capture in the prison of your hate.
You need to know this.
Come closer…
Closer…
Even closer…
I need you to understand something.
You do not deserve to be under attack when you are at your weakest.
You do not deserve your hate.
It’s unfair.
It’s unkind.
It’s downright brutal.
And the war you started is futile.
And no one will rescue you…
But you.
Don’t you see that you are the only you- you will ever have in this life?
You must learn to love yourself. All of you. Every broken piece of you.
You must learn to fight your battle, your burden, your bully-
With SELF LOVE.
Please stop hating yourself.
Please.
Please.
Cradle yourself in compassion.
Soak yourself in sweet surrender.
Release your choking grip of taunting your tainted self.
And open your heart to:
Empathy.
Encouragement.
Gentle whispers of reassurance.
Newfound hope in believing that you are worth fighting for.
You are worthy of relentless kindness, patience, and respect.
Aren’t you?
You can find sustenance in lovingly stroking your hurts, your wounds, your limitations with the delicate and deliberate decisions you take each and every day to care for yourself-
With unfailing love.
Realize this pain, this suffering, this brokenness is not your choice.
You are fighting this fight.
Please do it with love, not hate.
You can choose to live in agonizing anger or generous grace.
You alone must choose to love yourself- unconditionally.
No strings attached.
No provisions.
No expectations.
No needless pressure with bars held too high.
No threats, shame, or relentless regrets.
That is not love.
That is not love.
Love stands alone.
It does not compare.
It has no stipulations.
No Expectations.
No measurements, requirements, or qualifications.
True love is unfailing.
It’s existence is a guarantee.
A never-ending, enduring promise.
You must love yourself with no bars, no barriers, no boundaries.
Pure love has none.
Do you love yourself?
No one else can live your life.
No one else has been given a life like yours.
You are a unique creation.
Your existence is like no other.
This life is yours alone-
How will you choose to define it?
How will you choose to define you?
You alone, can honor who you are and define your worth.
You alone, can acknowledge your strength, your perseverance, your gifts.
Remind yourself that your battle is half won, when you choose to triumph in your own war within.
Every day you must surrender the hate and place it where it should be placed.
On your pain, your burden, your plight.
And embrace the you who endures the hard fight.
Praise the you, who walks the road to freedom while living in limitations.
Freedom from self hate.
There’s nothing more liberating.
No one else needs your love more than you.
Especially when you are grasping at life with everything you got.
I promise you, your journey will be much easier to bear when YOU are on your side.
No matter your pain…
The greatest gift you could ever receive
Isn’t healing or changing or restoration.
It’s learning the true definition of love-
It’s in discovering Self Love.
And holding on to it for life.
This life is hard.
Believe me, please.
There’s a better way to battle through the hard parts.
Love yourself through it.
***
If you need more encouragement in your healing, my book may be what you need. You can check it out on Amazon HERE.
Darla Halyk says
I love you!
momcafe says
I LOVE YOU!!! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO…..
Lynn says
And you are so WORTH it!
momcafe says
Aw thank you friend. It’s always so wonderful to soak in other people’s encouragement. You’re such a blessing to me. And YOU are TOO. <3
Sue Theimer says
I had just said “I HATE myself!!” and then I read your post. Why did I HATE myself? Because I have had a 2-day battle with ‘postal tape’. I have tried everything in my power to get it to run smoothly. Why can I not do this? Because I have NO worth and I Hate Myself. And I stopped fooling with it and read your post. What a ridiculous reason for hate…period! I wish I could solve every problem in the world, but I can not. I am human and, as YOU said, the only human I have! So I choose to love me again; I will work on the tangled tape again…..later.
momcafe says
Aw mama! You are so adorable, and I LOVE how honest you are about this battle! I TOTALLY GET IT! Man, the things we say to ourselves, right? We have to stop being so hateful to ourselves! It’s down right unacceptable! Let’s do better together. <3
Janine Huldie says
What beautiful words of self encouragement and definitely needed to hear these words today as a reminder that I am indeed worth it as I do sometimes forget or even turn a blind eye to this worrying about other’s needs way before my own. So, thank you my sweet friend for indeed sharing this here today with all of us. Hugs!! 🙂 <3
momcafe says
Thank you Janine! I’m so glad it helped you remember to love yourself and take good care of YOU! XOXO
Liv says
I love this. Self love is always the first thing to go. Especially as a mom.
momcafe says
Yup. SO true! And it should be something we cling to, especially through the times we are most vulnerable and weak. <3
Alison Hector says
Such a word in due season, Chris. We need to encourage and nurture ourselves daily. There’s so much that conspires against us and our need to show extreme self-care and love to ourselves. Thanks for pointing us back in the right direction!
momcafe says
Thanks for your beautiful response, Alison! Who best to love us but ourselves? It can be so very hard sometimes, but we must. We deserve the grace and acceptance and encouragement especially when we are feeling weak!
Kathy says
You are such a light!!;!!!! So many need to read this and receive the grace you offer that pierces any self loathing! Your voice is wisdom singing through a town calling the self haters to the town center for a dose of love from a love and light giver! You have such a gift so many need!!
momcafe says
Aw! You are such an encourager Kathy! I just love that scenario you paint with your words! I’m picturing the town center filled with self haters… <3
Tamara says
Happy Valentine’s Day! I love myself and you!
Yes, this really struck me. My worst enemy is definitely ME and I have to battle.
momcafe says
Yep. I think we all have our internal battles. But the worst is when we are already hurting! No matter the pain, whether physical or emotional- we need to love ourselves through. <3
lisa thomson says
Wow, this is incredibly powerful, Chris! Your voice is strong. I can relate to the “I am weak.” statement. I hate that I tell myself that when I’m physically hurting. It really isn’t fair. I’m going to think twice before ever saying that again to me. Thank you!
momcafe says
It’s amazing how mean we can be to ourselves, when we need our love most of all! I’ve learned the hard way- this is NOT how we should be treating ourselves. I’m so glad you appreciate this message, Lisa! <3
Julie Jo Severson says
Beautiful, gracious, and soul quenching as always.
momcafe says
Thank you from the bottom of my heart, dear friend. XO
Marie Kléber says
This is such a POWERFUL message Chris. Whaou!
Thank you so much for sharing and caring for each one of us.
“You can choose to live in agonizing anger or generous grace.” I say YES to this. I say YES to Love and Grace.
momcafe says
ME TOO!! Love and grace can be hard to come by, some days. We all deserve both most when we are hurting! <3
Allie G smith says
Beautiful and so very true. You are so gifted and wise!
momcafe says
Aw thank you, friend. I’ve learned from experience… <3
Rebecca Huff says
I love this, “Cradle yourself in compassion.
Soak yourself in sweet surrender.
Release your choking grip of taunting your tainted self.”
I need to hang this on my mirror and read it every day!
Thank you!!
momcafe says
Thank you Rebecca. It’s such a vulnerable and vicious place we can find ourselves in, when we are hurting! I need that on my mirror too. <3
Ceil says
Hi Chris! I really, really relate to this post. I so agree that we can be our own worst enemy…by listening to the enemy! I have spoken about listening to the ‘Trash Talk’ we hear in our hearts, that absolutely is not from us. We are worth so much, each one of us special creations with special gifts and deserving of love. I hope this message goes out to many, and that we will all believe that we are precious and worthy of goodness.
These are some inspired thoughts my friend. I love it!
Blessings to you always,
Ceil
momcafe says
Amen, Ceil. Thank you for your beautiful words of wisdom. XO
Lisa @ The Meaning of Me says
Yeah.
momcafe says
Right? Love you, friend. XO
Marva | SunSparkleShine says
Christine, thank you for this reminder. I needed to hear this today!
Thanks, friend!
Weekend blessings to you!
momcafe says
Marva, I’m so glad you came by to soak it in, my friend. God bless you sister!