In celebration of this “Love” holiday, I decided to ask Cassidy and Cade what they would look for in a future spouse. I really was curious to learn their perspective on what makes a good husband or wife. What they value in a person they would be spending the rest of their life with, is a window into what they are learning about love and what ultimately matters in their lives. I decided this would also be a good exercise for them as well, in discovering for themselves- what characteristics were important to them in a person. I asked them to tell me at least ten attributes they would look for in their lifetime love, and I got more. Much more…
Cassidy: What Do You Think Makes a Good Husband:
1. He should be honest.
2. He should be considerate.
3. He should be understanding.
4. He should be mature.
5. He should be responsible with money.
6. He should be good looking.
7. He should accept me for who I am.
8. He should be Loyal.
9. He should be helpful.
10. He should be Reverent.
11. He should be Sacrificial.
12. He should love me.
13. He should be smart.
14. He should be resourceful.
15. He should be ingenious.
16. He should pray to God.
17. He should respect his family.
18. He should respect my family.
19. He should have good manners.
20. He should learn my love language.
21. He should be secure.
22. He should be likable and have a lot of friends.
23. He should be able to clean the house.
24. He should surprise me with gifts often.
25. He should be a good dad.
26. He should love to learn.
27. He should be creative.
28. He should always have a job.
29. He should love to help people.
30. He should love the Buckeyes and football and swimming.
31. He should be easy going.
32. He should be a light that shines in the world.
33. He should listen.
34. He should be good at fixing things.
35. He should be good in self-defense.
36. He should be dedicated to his family.
37. He should be dramatic.
38. He shouldn’t dawdle.
39. He should be encouraging.
40. He should read the bible.
**BONUS** He should be FUNNY!
Cade: What Do You Think Makes a Good Wife?
1. She should always be compassionate.
2. She should be lovable.
3. She should be friendly.
4. She should be clean and organized.
5. She should be patient.
6. She shouldn’t be too hard on her children, or too soft on her children.
7. She should be a good cook.
8. She should be caring toward her kids.
9. She should be pretty.
10. She should be a Christian and very Godly.
11. She should be sporty and musical.
12. She should be smart.
13. She should love pets. (Cause I’m gonna get a dog)
14. She should be giving.
15. She should be strong emotionally.
16. She should be in good shape. (Like you but maybe a little bit more than you.)
17. She should be wise.
18. She needs to be positive.
19. She should be an outdoors and indoor person. (Mostly outdoors though)
20. She should save money.
21. She should have good fashion taste.
22. She should be healthy.
23. She should be a very good mom.
24. She should not be greedy.
25. She should always tell the truth.
26. She should always support me.
27. She should be really fun.
28. She should make people feel good.
29. She should have good manners and not be rude to other people.
30. She should not gossip and always be nice.
31. She should be trustable. (Correction: Trustworthy)
32. She should be a good role model to her children and other people.
33. She should dress appropriately.
34. She should be thankful for her blessings.
35. She should be sensible.
36. She should finish what she starts.
37. She should forgive others.
38. She should be loving.
39. She should make smart decisions.
As far as I can tell? They are both gonna have some AMAZING marriages, if they find an individual who can meet all of these requirements!! I am impressed and delighted they have such high expectations. I told them I will keep these checklists for future reference. What fun that will be, to look back on these lists someday! I can only pray that my kids find exactly what they are looking for…
I love that you asked your kids and I agree that they both will indeed have great marriages if they can stick to their lists!! 😉
Heck YES they will!! My gosh, these lists are crazy high expectations!! I just love it. And I would LOVE for them to find someone who could meet them all… Will be a tough one to score, but ya never know! 😉
I love these checklists! I’d like to try this with my boys, but I’m a little afraid at what they might say. 🙂 But seriously, so adorable – I especially like, “he should like the Buckeyes” (in our house, it would be the Wolverines) and “she should love pets” (because I’m gonna get a dog) – LOVE their thinking.
They did a pretty good job, didn’t they?! I want you to ask your boys!!! Having their perspective would be SO FUN!! 😉
What a great idea! I got choked up and laughed at the same time. Your kids are amazing…..they get it:)
AW!!! Well, you KNOW my kiddos… they did a pretty good job, didn’t they? Yeah, some of these- ohmygosh too typical!! LOL I LOVE you for coming by and commenting, Christy!!! And I LOVED our date night the other night. BEST night since…. probably sometime in October. 😉
Those are some high, high standards. I couldn’t ever hope to match up to even half a list like that. I’m not ever gonna ask Husby this question. Ever.
HA!! No need to ask Husby… he’s got the best wife he could ask for. Perfect fit. <3 I don't think there is such a thing as THESE standards. Perhaps *striving* for them is a better way to use these lists. Lord knows, NO ONE can meet these requirements!! Not you, husby, derek or I!
I don’t think I’m equipped to even STRIVE for about half of these 😉
Hi Chris! The words these kids know is just amazing. Compassionate? Sacrificial? Godly? Wow. These are beautiful comments on a future spouse. You should be so proud of these two. And I’m proud of you and your husband for raising such sensitive, level-headed children.
Yikes. I wonder what my kids would have said?
Happy Valentines Day to my talented blog-friend!
Ceil
Happy Valentine’s Day to MY talented blog friend!!! I’m pretty impressed with their lists too, Ceil. They were really on fire that night I had them write these. 🙂
Holy smokes, that is quite a list. It’s so interesting to hear what children have to say about things like marriage and relationships. I wonder what their lists will be like in 10 to 15 years? Maybe they will be satisfied w/ just “he/she should not burp or fart in public”
Neh- THAT list is for AFTER they are married!!! That’s when things shift a bit, yes? LOL
I LOVE those lists!! They should keep them and really remember all the things they are looking for – never settle:)
I am laughing a tiny bit on the “be in shape” comment – funny boy!!
I am totally keeping these for them- for future use!! And yeah… that Cade- always always honest. Kills me!
Hmm . . . those kids sound like they have an amazing mom who has taught them well 🙂
AW! Thanks so much Crystal!!! I honestly think Derek has taught them well too, so I’ll give him some of the credit. 😉
This are great lists for what makes a good person in general! I was waiting for “funny” – glad to see it made it onto Cassidy’s list. And Cade’s “she should be really fun. To be married to someone who you love being with – that’s pretty awesome.
I agree Dana!!! Put these two lists together, and you have one hell of an individual!! 🙂 Funny better be on there. Life can’t be lived without funny!
I love this. Precious.
Thanks darlin’! These two… totally keeping these lists for future reference. 😉
If they find people that meet all those criteria, they will be some lucky, lucky kids!!! They are already wise beyond their years! 🙂
I know, right? My gosh, if they find someone that has HALF of either list- they will score BIGTIME!! I’m all for them aiming for the stars… I of course, think they deserve it all. 🙂
Y’know what? The word marriage is beginning to freak me out these days! :/
What if I end up with the wrong guy?? 🙁
I hope and pray that you will find a man that loves you for YOU, and don’t be too freaked out- when love finds you… you will feel peace and confidence in marriage. <3
Don’t rush into anything. And don’t get carried away with ‘feelings’. There has to be logic there, too.
And love that’s not just the lovey-dovey kind. Or the over-the-top passionate kind.
I’ve run the gamut with am I with the right guy/should I be married/should we break up/want to be with him til we’re old. I think those feelings are usual. Sometimes.
Marriage is SERIOUSLY REALLY VERY HARD though. I’ll tell you that. But it’s important and wonderful, too. If Husby and I weren’t married, we would’t be together, I guarantee it. But we are, and so we’ve stayed to honour that, and actually, a lot of the time now, it’s pretty good. So there’s that.
Everyone’s different. Things change. People change. You just have to hope, and you have to try your absolute best to both make it work, if it’s what you want.
Oh I love this! “He shouldn’t dawdle” <– Hahahah! Oh my.
I know!!! I KNOW!! She was adamant about that one too, cause I was like “really? Dawdle?” geesh. 😉
I’d say you are doing a great job raising them. Reverent and sacrificial? Good calls!!
I was pretty impressed with those words too, Michelle! They have some great insight and wisdom for their age. I’m proud of them. 🙂
I’m impressed. I don’t think any of my kids would be able to come up with such longs lists! I wish them luck:).
I was surprised they came up with such long lists too… but the reason is all about the *competition* between the two! I had them do the lists on their own and they kept wanting to ‘one up’ the other… comparing how many the other had. So hence this many!! And poor Cade thinks they both settled on the same number. Shh…
“Good fashion sense” and “no dawdling’ Loved it! I could’ve used this list 30 years ago…
They are quite the kids, I tell ya! I questioned the “no dawdling” and it was critical for her to add it to the list. Funny, I have no idea why. 🙂 And the Good fashion sense? Well, okay then. lol (That did not come from having ME as a mom. This I know!)
I’m dying to know what “dress appropriately” means at this age 🙂
BWAHAHAHA!!!! I know right? I think it’s so cute though. I will have to ask…
Wow, these are some great answers! I am impressed with their insight. I also had to laugh at some of their requirements (good fashion taste).
I know! Some of them are quite hilarious… I questioned many of them, to which they defended to the death! Apparently, dawdling and fashion sense, and being dramatic are key. lol
Holy cow, what amazing children!! I love Cassidy’s #7. It’s like nothing else matters.
I’m a bit sad about Cade wanting a Christian girl, because Scarlet is only partly so! Ah well. I’m sure he has a line of girls because he’s AWESOME!
AMEN to #7!! And don’t you dare take Scarlett out of the line up… She will woo him over just fine. 😉
Wow! These lists are great. They are so much more mature than most of the adults I know! I think I like Cade’s #16 the best. hahaha
Yeah… isn’t that just so sweet? HA! I get it though… the kid plays with my flab all the time, so there’s that. 😉
Your kids are so smart! When they start dating someone seriously, you should pull this list up and show it to them to see if it matches the person they’re dating!
I am TOTALLY gonna do that, Ginny!!!! 😉
Wow- wonderful wonderful qualities! I love this!
I was pretty impressed with them too! Thanks for coming by to read them, Clare! 🙂
Love, love, looooove!!!
I must say I’m amazed Cade had as many as Cassidy. I expected his list to be about 10 things. 😀 (guys and all)
I KNOW!!! I had the kids do them separately, so they would copy off one another. And every time each of them came back with their lists, they fought about having MORE than the other. HENCE why Cade has so many. Shh… he wanted to be even with Cass, and still thinks he is. I was DONE with the competition! lol
love some of the things that they came up with: love language, a light in this world, sporty AND musical.. LOL.
I had such a long list at one point, then I decided that I just needed someone who could stand still with me for 5 minutes. It sounds rather simple; but within that 5 minutes there is so many things that are understood, though unsaid.
basically if he could stand me for 5 minutes, I should keep him. HA!
I always had that ‘list’ too… and really? The list I have learned of love, is SO much better. 😉 I’m good with the five minute test too!! LOL
Amazing lists from your amazing kiddos, Chris! I love them! (had to giggle over “in good shape…like you but maybe a little more). Kids! Grr! What a lovely exercise to do with them to honor Valentine’s Day. Happy happy to you Sweets.
I loved how much they got into this! I made sure they wrote their lists separately… but then of course there was the battle between who had MORE… always a competition with those two. They kept going back to add ‘more’ to catch up with the other. Hence why they are SO LONG! 🙂 I was SUPER impressed with their lists though, and yeah- nice Cade! Geesh. But, he plays with my fat all the time, so well, yeah.
****S U P E R B******.
This, I LOVE: 12. He should love me.
YESSSS.
Your adorable children should be teaching marriage counseling!
xxxxxxxxxxxx
They really nailed it with these lists, didn’t they? Good LORD they have the bar almost as high as our Heavenly Father!! lol
I’ll support them 100% with these expectations. They deserve nothing less! 😀
Adorable, Christine. I’m so glad you asked them, though I don’t think I’d be able to make either list. Hope your Valentine’s Day was beautiful!
With heart,
Dani
Their lists are absolutely amazing, and I’m not sure there is a human being out there that will make them either!! 🙂 Thanks for reading this, Dani! I’m so grateful for you. <3