My precious daughter…
My heart crumbles into a million tiny pieces when you get into the car after school and tell me about your day…
Your recesses spent alone because no one wanted to be with you.
Not having a partner in class because no one picked you.
Friends’ betrayal, rejection and abandonment…
Constantly shifting and leaving you dismissed and un-chosen.
You find your place in isolation.
And the brutal reality of failing friends hits hard.
I’ve watched you navigate your way through this mess of vicious circles and self-indulgence. I’ve held your hand while you’ve survived broken fragments of friendships cutting your heart and questioning your worth. I felt your emotional struggle and heard your cries of surrender to yet another friend’s demise. Somehow you manage to step into the war of superficial plight with your armor on in attempt to be impenetrable.
Every single day.
Everyday you stand in your convictions and your strength.
Everyday you face the daunting silence of being alone.
Everyday you choose to remain confident in your choices.
Everyday you survive the disappointments.
Everyday you choose what is right and noble and wise.
Everyday you take the pain and filter it with faith.
Everyday you fight humility and still stand tall.
Everyday you hold on to a higher scale of measurement.
Everyday you long for trust.
Everyday you wish for good.
Everyday you hope for better.
Everyday you realize it’s worse.
Oh my precious daughter, how I ache for you.
Oh my precious daughter, I am in awe of you.
Oh my precious daughter, you inspire me.
Oh my precious daughter, your strength amazes me.
Oh my precious daughter, you are so beautiful.
With your incredible perspective, and your breakable heart.
Ten years old.
Don’t let them take your light. It’s far too valuable to waste on this season of social mediocrity. God has much bigger plans for you, sweet love. He is building your heart and creating your spirit for a purpose far greater than this moment, this time in your life.
Believe that, dear one.
I am blessed to watch your future unfold…
I am blessed to see your steadfastness endure…
I am blessed to be a witness to His Work in you…
For you, my love
Are fearfully and wonderfully made.
Let His Light shine in you, through you, around you, amidst the darkness in which you roam.
And in the corners of my night, I cry those mama tears for you. And I pray for God’s love to fill you, protect you, guide you and forever hold you up and give you peace.
Keep marching on, sweet soldier. And know that I couldn’t be more proud of the wisdom and strength growing inside of you. And while you are out on the battlefield, you have God on your side…
May you always remember…
When you pass through the waters…He will be with you.
And in the end…
That’s all you really need.
Isaiah 43:2 New International Version (NIV)
When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.
Love this! Crying. Completely understand, my daughter is 10 and that is what girls do at this age, doesn’t make it ok… XO, SSSF! ~A~
Exactly SSSF! Derek is blown away by it all- but I know better. I’m a girl- and oh do I remember… breaks my heart to see it happening to my baby. I thank GOD she is grounded in His LOVE more than theirs- that to me is key. Praying her strength in Him continues… Praying!
Ok, as a mom myself this one truly hit home and totally was shedding a few tears reading about your ten year old daughter. Kids can definitely be cruel, but I have to hope and pray that with you as her mom, Chris that she will indeed have the strength to keep going and doing all she can to grow up into a beautiful and amazing young woman with faith and love in God. Hoping you are also enjoying your weekend so far and thank you for sharing this with us this Sunday.
Oh Janine- I know this had to hit your heart just thinking about your precious girls!! It’s a brutal world with girls when they are tweens… I just pray middle school is a place where she can find a few good friends to pull her through. Oh, how I pray.
I love your hope in her- and in me. I am so grateful for that encouragement Janine. It helps. XO
Oh friend, thank you for reminding me of my rock we all need to keep running back to–regardless of age. Our refuge, our shelter. I needed to hear this today…thank you. And know what a brilliant job you are doing with her. xo.
I love that God used this post for YOUR heart!!!! Oh how I love that!!! God IS your rock, your refuge, your shelter sweet sister. No matter the waters or the fires… HE is with you.
–Chris,
your words drench into the core of the soul.
your positivity, passion, & faith in GOD resonates & spreads all over the place, including over here…
I have no doubt that God has larger, significant plans for your daughter. This is the reason HE has blessed you to be her Mother!
****When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.****
I believe this entirely.
This is the reason I still LIVE..
xxxxx LOVE.
I love your heart, your core, your soul, and the reason you still LIVE. Oh, how I do.
Thank you, my dear sweet sister.
Thank you…
My daughter is only four and the mean girl stuff starts so early. What’s funny is that someone said to my daughter, “You’re not my friend anymore!” And she said, “I actually don’t care” and then played a puzzle with another kid!
I know it won’t always be that funny and easy, though..
Cass has basically said similar things in a more ‘older girl with sweetness’ way- her x-friends keep saying she is too immature for them. I believe they are the immature ones-and she is just ‘innocent’ not immature. The girls get into some pretty ‘grown up’ inappropriate stuff very VERY early these days- and she doesn’t want to be a part of it, and clearly doesn’t know a lot about what they are talking about/doing etc. So she tries to accept the rejection and read alone in the corner of the playground. (Oh my heart)
Oh, Chris. As I read this (in the airport!) my heart just aches. As mothers, all we want to do is protect our children. It’s heartbreaking when we see them suffer. I love the perspective you are taking. I pray things get easier.
AW! You are such a LOVE to read this in the airport!!! I am thinking about you CONSTANTLY and praying for you honey!!! I wonder where you are now!! SO exciting and scary all at once!! I know you are in good hands, so I will rest easy as best I can in THAT. 🙂
Thanks for your sweet support. Girls are awful. I remember… I don’t think boys have the same type of drama and shifts in friendships like girls do. I don’t worry so much about Cade. Cass- I worry. 🙁
First – I want to come and kick some sense into those other kids!! Seriously, what is wrong with them?!
Second, you are right, your daughter is beautiful and incredible and one day she will be the one that everyone wants to have by their side!!!
I’m so sorry that kids can be mean and treat others so poorly. I’ve seen it a bit with my oldest son but thankfully he has formed a nice core group of friends so the rest doesn’t matter as much. I know it is hard at such a young age but I really do know that she is the one who is going to have a grand life!!!
I am so glad your son found his ‘niche’ and is able to be comfortable and confident in his friendships!! That is HUGE. I pray for Cass to find the same…perhaps when she goes to middle school next year. That is my desperate hope!
So surprised that all this going on for Cassidy. She is so quiet. Spent night with us, wanted to be outside, in the woods, by the creek. Grounding herself in Mother Nature in the babbling brook, in throwing stones, climbing logs, and all the time very quiet She wanted comfort foods, mac and cheese, mashed potatoes, ice cream, most of which we gave her with waffles for breakfast. Now I understand her quietness. All children– all adults need someone to love them unconditionally and a place to retreat to so they can reground their soul/spirit in times of adversity. All your children are blessed to have you for Mom. Today’s child needs lots of nurturing, for the times tell us that not much nurturing is going on in lots of homes. Thank God for all of you, thank God for Chris who acknowledges that there is a real problem in the social network in our schools, Thank God for wonderful families who love their children so much and support them, and teach them skills to not only survive but to go beyond survival to a more profound understanding of compassion, care, forgiveness without being victims. To know they are OK just as God created then, their identity is not defined by their peers; but is by God’s love for them and as parents we all manifest God’s love to our children. God Bless You All.
Oh my heart!! I am so so touched and gifted by your precious and wise words, dear ‘Grandma’… Yes- she has been amazing through this season of rough waters. I am so proud of her ability to discern those that make poor choices and continue persevering on her own… with quiet confidence. But she aches. And I thank GOD for having you- her refuge. She will need you more and more as the years go by and challenges and difficulties arise, as they will.
Thank you for being there- always. And giving her such a beautiful and unconditional form of love that I’m SURE restores her heart in so many powerful ways…
I love you so very much. XOXO
My heart breaks for Sweet Cass. She is such a light! And this scripture, it is one I cling to when life is weighing me down and beating me up. His precious promises are for all His precious children. Not only will he protect our perspectives, He uses these hard things to shape us and touch others. Oh how I wish she could avoid this hard stuff though! As I am putting these words down I am listening to her and Sophie giggling : D She blesses us so! Oh how I hope she knows that! In Sophie’s young-ness, she isn’t always the best at telling her friends what they mean to her…I hope Cass knows.
Oh how Cass adores your sweet girl… and quite frankly, it’s been her saving grace this year.
What a blessing – what a gift- oh how grateful I am for you both!!!
Oh your girl. I fear these days. They happen to everyone and I dread them. I hope I have the strength to give to my girl that you have given to yours when these a days come!
You will… you already have it. It will come when you need to use it. That’s the power of a loving mama. <3
Amazes me how much worse it hurts me when my daughter is rejected or hurt than when it is my own wound.
YES! That is just so true on all accounts, isn’t it? Oh how many times I prayed I could take on her wounds instead of she… but they must learn to grow from it and build the skills to cope with the world around them. That is my my prayer! Thank you so much for stopping by Joey. Lovely to meet you!
My heart aches for your daughter, and for you. It’s so hard to watch your child in pain. My daughter passed through the tween years unscathed by peer issues, and I’m not sure how she got that lucky. May your daughter find some friends who will love her for the wonderful girl that she is, Chris.
Thanks so much Dana! Oh how I hope she can find true friends that hold the same values she does… perhaps in middle school. I pray…
I am SO glad your sweet daughter was able to bypass this awful season. Good for HER!!! 🙂
This makes my heart ache in a beautiful way. Your words are stunning. With three daughters myself, I just want to protect them from all this meanness. I can’t, I know. Your faith and strength will hold her up and she will make it through, stronger and better. Hugs to you both!
Thanks so much Lisa… I know your heart is right there with me. Especially with your three daughters- sigh. I will keep holding out hope that she will find her true friends somewhere along the way. It’s never an easy road with growing up and realizing how different people are according to their values… and I am so proud that she clings to hers. I pray she continues to stay true to herself!!
My heart breaks for every tween girl who gets pushed to the margins. I’m sending up a prayer for your precious girl. That she will continue to find strength in her faith and in you.
I love this verse. Thank you so much for making it so real.
Oh how I just hate how girls treat each other at this age- and it will only get worse. I pray she holds on to her faith and to her values through this season and the next in middle school!
I am so very proud of her. And I thought this verse spoke to it. I am so grateful for your sweet support, my friend!!
My heart breaks for her. She is such an amazing person and to deserves to have others realize that.
Thanks so much, my friend. It’s a tough world out there, so I just hope and pray she continues to make wise choices and stay true to her heart.
I was like your daughter, with one huge exception – I let my circumstances harden my heart, and your girl has not. A heart open to love, and full of hope for others is a wonderful blessing, and one that can’t be spoiled by outside influences.
I found my lifelong friends in middle school, and continued to grow my garden of friendships, removing the weeds when necessary. Your girl will do the same, and she will surround herself with people worthy of her affection. Until then, hugs and prayers to you both.
I can’t tell you how beautiful and encouraging your words are to me, Amy. Thank you so so much for this. 🙂
Oh Chris, it’s such a heart wrenching thing for any kid to go through…and mom to watch. I was that kid in elementary school…it was hard for me because we moved a lot. Girls can be so mean. Hugs to both of you…tell her to hang in there. Later in life, this is just a blip. Things change tremendously.
I do hope she can have the strength and maturity to believe that this is just a blip in time. Bless her heart. Thanks so much for your sweet support, dear friend.
preciousness. Such a blessing to read this AFTER reading about her later finding her tribe..God is good all the time!!
Isn’t it amazing? I’m just so grateful for answered prayer!!!