I hate having to see a new doctor. Filling out all the forms and going through Cassidy’s history is quite cumbersome, to say the least. I’d rather not do it at all, but I am used to documenting the unusual amount of history this girl holds in her 11 years of life. When meeting a new doctor, I have become quite eloquent and poised at sharing her long and sorted past of grueling medical issues and procedures and diagnoses. I am able now, with the distance of a few years, to spell it out in a pace that is practical and to the point. I have polished the pieces of her past with a detailed timeline that winds around difficult turns and haunting memories. And as those blurry reflections come back to the surface in that rising moment, I am once again stirred with that familiar jolt of emotion.
There is more praise than pain now.
For that I am thankful.
When I speak to these doctors, sharing her story- our journey, I sense her tuning in with that innate radar that clings to her defining identity. She listens intently, taking in every recollection as if for the first time. And I believe the one most important thing I have done right in this parenting gig, is birth and nurture her belief that she is God’s fearfully and wonderfully made child. She is special. Designed with His Holy Hands to be a mighty force of His Goodness and His Strength.
She wears her story like a badge of honor. Because she believes it when I tell her, she is the making of God’s Miracle. Although she doesn’t remember much of her agonizing past, she holds the story like a potent beloved diary that is by God’s Design.
And that my friends, is my greatest success in parenting this precious child. Revealing to her the mystery of her creation, that has become a true living monument of hope.
Her severe reflux, her years of chronic illness, her malformed sinuses, her debilitating asthma, her abnormally formed ears, her viciously damaged larynx and pharynx, her multiple ulcers in her stomach, and her beautifully broken eyes…
A maddening muddled mess made into a marvelous miracle.
And despite the trauma of all her conditions, her light has never stopped illuminating even in the darkest of hours.
I marvel at God’s workmanship in her. May she never, ever stop believing His Truth…
Meet my beloved daughter. And before I tell you her story, rest assured…
She is well within her soul.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.