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The Worst Way to Spend A Wedding Anniversary

February 17, 2016 By momcafe 48 Comments

 

Darling Husband,

I just wanted to remind you that we are spending our 15th wedding anniversary at our beloved son’s fourth grade recorder concert.

Yeah.

Wedding anniversary, marriage, married with kids, parenting

Listening to 75 nine-year olds blow through a squeaky plastic toy in the school’s gymnasium while sitting on folding chairs sounds thrillingly romantic, doesn’t it?

Yeah.

So, when you get home from work, you will need to slurp down some leftovers and race to the school to catch the performance, okay? We’ll already be there, because of course we’ll need to get to the school 30 minutes early for warm up.

Maybe after the concert, we can take the kids to get some ice cream?

Equally romantic with a side of sugar. Not the kind you’re looking for though, sweetie.

We’ll work around it. We’ll find a way to celebrate our love. We’ve been here before, pretty much every year since having these beautiful children.

It is what it is…

Remember how I made you promise on our first wedding anniversary, that we would always plan a wonderful vacation to some warm sunny destination to bask in the glow of our love and celebrate our years together? Remember that? Our first year was a hit! Remember that Caribbean Cruise we took? It was amazing, wasn’t it? I even worked on my gift for you over months of time, creating a framed written piece titled “365 Ways I Love You.” That was a labor of love, if there ever was one.

It makes my heart swell to see it still on your desk downstairs. After 15 years, I continue to agree with them all. All 365 of them.

Ah…Memories.

Our second year wedding anniversary, I remember we were in a pinch. I had foot surgery gone bad and you blew a lumbar disc consequently having back surgery shortly after.There was no hope for the romantic getaway that year. We were both stuck in recovery and struggling to stand, let alone get on a plane and fly to a tropical paradise.

By our third year, our daughter was born.

So much for getaways, vacations, or anything remotely remote. We were drowning in parenting a baby who constantly took our breath away… mainly in fear or possibly exhaustion. She was the center of our world- such first time parents.

And what were we thinking having a wedding during cold and flu season anyway? Sure I wanted it on the anniversary of the day we met two years before, but seriously- we didn’t own a parent predictability radar to give us any foresight to the winter seasons ahead of us with our two born and budding asthmatics.

Ridiculous.

A June wedding would have been so much better, but I did love the Valentine’s Day theme and the red rose simplicity of it all. Classic style. It was beautiful…

Remember the vows I wrote for you?

I do.

And I still mean every word. It’s rather prophetic, don’t you think?

I’m amazed at how our love has grown richer, deeper, stronger through the years, despite our pathetic anniversary celebrations that always seem ‘less than’ ideal.

But really?

It’s not about that one day. All married couples know that.

It’s about our every day hugs and our ability to bend.

It’s about giving and sacrificing and patience.

It’s about listening and respecting each others voices, dreams, and feelings.

It’s about diving into difficult decisions together and stretching hard to reach for the other when the tidal waves of life hit hard and take us under.

It’s about sticking hard to the values and principles we believe in and showering grace and forgiveness when it’s called for, asked for, or even not asked for.

Celebrating our love has never been about our anniversary plans, nor will it ever really will be.

Romance isn’t something we need to dine over and dress up for…

Our most passionate moments are found when we’re stuck in the trenches of everyday life- catching a glimpse of one another and smiling that smile. They’re found in the notes you leave me every day telling me you love me, or when I surprise you with a lunch date, or when we laugh at our own little quirks about one another. And often when we watch our kids shine, we realizing we created them together- that’s passion.

I grow more in love with you every day, because for 15 years you have revealed to me what true love really is as our story continues to unfold.

We don’t need to travel to some tropical island.

Turns out, I was wrong back then.

I had no idea that our home would be destination paradise all its own.

Thanks for making the last 15 years the trip of a lifetime.

I’ll see you at the concert.

 

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Filed Under: Encouragement in Family, Encouragement in Laughter, Encouragement in Marriage, Encouragement in Motherhood, Featured Post Tagged With: Anniversary, Love, Marriage, motherhood, parenting

Comments

  1. Janine Huldie says

    February 17, 2016 at 12:01 pm

    Aw, Happy Anniversary Chris and sounds vaguely familiar how we celebrate our own special days here being parents to our two girls, too. So totally get it, but still somehow it just feels right when all is said and done, too πŸ™‚

    Reply
    • momcafe says

      February 24, 2016 at 2:06 pm

      It does, doesn’t it Janine? Our family is the true treasure in it all. I’ll take spending time with our ‘people’ any day… the Island can wait. πŸ™‚

      Reply
  2. Jennie Goutet says

    February 17, 2016 at 1:09 pm

    I love this. And oh boy it sounds familiar.

    Reply
    • momcafe says

      February 24, 2016 at 2:05 pm

      Right? Concert or island… We are blessed with LOVE. I’ll take it! πŸ™‚

      Reply
  3. another jennifer says

    February 17, 2016 at 1:18 pm

    Are you saying a recorder concert isn’t romantic? Hahahaha. Happy Anniversary! You two will make it perfect no matter what because love should be celebrated every day. I know you know that, Chris. xo

    Reply
    • momcafe says

      February 24, 2016 at 2:05 pm

      It was a quickly timed concert, and for THAT I am grateful! We really do celebrate our love in every day life. That’s where the good stuff happens. πŸ™‚ Thanks SO much for coming by to celebrate it with me, my friend!! XOXO

      Reply
  4. Katy @ Experienced Bad Mom says

    February 17, 2016 at 1:24 pm

    Aw, lovely!! “I had no idea that our home would be destination paradise all its own.” Happy anniversary. πŸ™‚

    Reply
    • momcafe says

      February 24, 2016 at 2:03 pm

      Thanks so much Katy! There truly is no place I’d rather be. But that beach sounds quite lovely too…. #Someday πŸ™‚

      Reply
  5. Julie Moore says

    February 17, 2016 at 1:45 pm

    Happy Anniversary! Enjoy the anniversary concert! πŸ˜‰ I think this will be an anniversary for the books – just have that feeling. There’s something about having your birthday or anniversary on a day that requires you to do something completely different than what you originally would have planned that make them that much more special and amazing. Just always seems to go that way. πŸ™‚ I wish you all the best, and many more happy years together!

    Reply
    • momcafe says

      February 24, 2016 at 2:03 pm

      Oh Julie, thank you SO much for coming by to celebrate this anniversary with me! I agree, it’s those times we don’t do what is typical that makes for the best moments and memories!

      Reply
  6. Derek says

    February 17, 2016 at 2:47 pm

    It’s been a great journey with an awesome wife.

    Reply
    • momcafe says

      February 24, 2016 at 2:01 pm

      Aw! Thanks babe. We have a really REALLY great thing. <3

      Reply
  7. My Inner Chick says

    February 17, 2016 at 3:02 pm

    ***I had no idea that our home would be destination paradise all its own.***

    You, my dear, make it a paradise on earth.

    Happy Anniversary!! Xxx

    Reply
    • momcafe says

      February 24, 2016 at 2:01 pm

      Oh my heart. Thank you, dear one. How lucky am I to have this kind of love? SO blessed. <3

      Reply
  8. Charity Craig (@charitylcraig) says

    February 17, 2016 at 3:33 pm

    This is one of my favorite posts you’ve written. I laughed and sighed, because you nailed pre-parenthood, and post-parenthood on the head. LOVE IT!! Hope you enjoyed your anniversary concert.

    Reply
    • momcafe says

      February 24, 2016 at 2:00 pm

      Aw! Thanks so much for coming by to read this and celebrate with me, Charity! The concert was perfectly timed and in TUNE! LOL

      Reply
  9. Jennifer Steck says

    February 17, 2016 at 4:36 pm

    You brought tears to my eyes, Chris. Happy anniversary!!

    Reply
    • momcafe says

      February 24, 2016 at 1:46 pm

      AW! Thanks SO much, my friend. And thanks for celebrating it with me! XO

      Reply
  10. Tamara says

    February 17, 2016 at 5:30 pm

    Ack, this is so romantic. I can’t stop smiling.
    That concert.. that’s the stuff…
    Also, I love that you had a February wedding. I think mid-February is the sickest time of year, right? Have they proven that yet?

    Reply
    • momcafe says

      February 24, 2016 at 1:45 pm

      It IS the sickest time of the year! What were we thinking? lol πŸ™‚ Thanks for coming by to celebrate it with me, dear friend! XO

      Reply
  11. Michelle | A Dish of Daily Life says

    February 17, 2016 at 5:32 pm

    Happy Anniversary, Chris! I’m laughing a little because since having our first almost 19 years ago, we have had very few romantic moments. But…now we’re within a few years of being completely empty nesters and I wouldn’t take back one soccer game, one track meet, or any other activity that’s taken place on our anniversary, Mother’s Day or Father’s Day. πŸ™‚ Hope all is well with you, my friend!

    Reply
    • momcafe says

      February 24, 2016 at 1:24 pm

      Oh Michelle, how I absolutely love that. “But…now we’re within a few years of being completely empty nesters and I wouldn’t take back one soccer game, one track meet, or any other activity that’s taken place on our anniversary, Mother’s Day or Father’s Day. :)” <--- I think I will feel the same when my kids are nearing the door. Thanks so much for coming by to celebrate this with me, my friend!

      Reply
  12. Rorybore says

    February 17, 2016 at 8:01 pm

    Awww, beautiful. Happy Anniversary!
    Such truth. All those dreams of exotic vacations we would also take. We even purchased into a time share in Mexico on our honeymoon….. and 13 years gone, have never been back yet. LOL
    Hubby worked Valentines. He usually works on our anniversaries too. Yet I know couples who were lucky enough to travel to sunnier climates and bask away…. only to end up one year paying all that money to lawyers. It’s true – we create our paradise. And we find a way to make it beautiful every day.

    Reply
    • momcafe says

      February 24, 2016 at 1:23 pm

      OH that’s good Leslie. That is GOOD!!!! LOLOL

      Um, can we use it? I figure I should seriously look into planning for our 20th now and your time share sounds absolutely PERFECT!! πŸ™‚

      Reply
  13. Ceil says

    February 17, 2016 at 9:05 pm

    Hi Chris! It’s so fun to see how your thoughts morphed over the years. I remember my first anniversary. I had the top of the wedding cake in a prominent place, the table set. My husband came in and said “I’m not eating year-old cake.” Yeah. What a romantic.

    But your so right about it being ‘every day’. We’ve been through some hard times my friend, and I can’t think of anyone who I’d rather have with me through them.
    Enjoy your concert! I bet you and your husband will be giggling in the back, and looking forward to ice cream.
    Blessings,
    Ceil

    Reply
    • momcafe says

      February 24, 2016 at 1:21 pm

      Ha! Thanks so much Ceil, for celebrating this special love with me. I KNOW you get it- and oh, how blessed we are! The concert was perfectly short and well tuned and timed. πŸ™‚ I did however ask where the bar was- one teacher suggested serving wine and cheese at these events. That would have been PERFECT. πŸ™‚

      Reply
  14. Allie says

    February 17, 2016 at 10:16 pm

    This was so sweet. I wish my husband would let me write about him. I laughed at me he cold/flu reference. We were married the weekend before Thanksgiving, and it always crazy now, getting ready for the holiday/travel. I always ask H m “what were we thinking?” Happy Anniversary!

    Reply
    • momcafe says

      February 24, 2016 at 1:19 pm

      Ha! Yeah- that sounds worse than a February anniversary, Allie!! And you totally need to write about our husband. πŸ™‚ What’s with him not wanting you to? I’m sure it would be ALL good things, right?

      Reply
  15. Kisma says

    February 18, 2016 at 1:48 am

    Happy Anniversary from one February bride to another!

    It’s funny how our view changes over the years and what we really appreciated and sometimes the perfect celebration for such an occasion is just know you will be together.

    Reply
    • momcafe says

      February 24, 2016 at 1:18 pm

      Amen to that Kisma! YAY for February Brides!! When is your anniversary? Thanks so much for coming by to celebrate ours! πŸ™‚

      Reply
  16. Bev says

    February 18, 2016 at 2:17 am

    I love all the love I’ve been reading about this week. And not just sappy, romanticized Valentine’s Day love, but LOVE love. The real deal. You can feel it in your words the love that you have with your husband. I think that the real test of it is deep in the trenches of marriage (and parenthood). It doesn’t have to be grand gestures or trips to warm places. It’s the little things in the everyday, as you two clearly do. Beautiful!

    Reply
    • momcafe says

      February 24, 2016 at 1:16 pm

      Oh Bev, your response is just so precious to me. THANK you. Thank you for truly understanding this kind of love and celebrating it with me!

      Reply
  17. Marie says

    February 18, 2016 at 10:15 am

    Happy Anniversary Chris! Another special post. I love it!
    Your words and story show me that Love still exists and that somewhere for sure I’ll share such wonderful love with somebody. Thank you. You are an inspirationnal lady!

    Reply
    • momcafe says

      February 24, 2016 at 1:15 pm

      Marie, I truly believe God has an incredible plan for you. Your heart is FULL of jewels to be shared with this world- and someday you will also share it all with someone God chooses to walk alongside you. I know you will one day hold the most powerful and precious love in your hands and I celebrate the hope in what’s to come!

      Reply
  18. Leah says

    February 18, 2016 at 11:47 am

    Happy Anniversary!its all about the real little moments. That’s true love:)

    Reply
    • momcafe says

      February 24, 2016 at 1:12 pm

      Thanks so much Leah! It truly is. I know you get this! πŸ™‚

      Reply
  19. Kathy says

    February 18, 2016 at 11:05 pm

    So precious and so funny and recognizable!!! What a beautiful marriage you have–it is always so when the ordinary becomes extraordinary!! This is true romance, true love! Happiest 15 years together, may you find more beauty in your marriage each and every year! What a great man you have, and he has such good taste of course!!

    Reply
    • momcafe says

      February 24, 2016 at 1:11 pm

      AW!! Thank you so much for your support and beautiful encouragement, my friend! I tell ya- I always say Derek is my first miracle. The kids follow after that. I have three living miracles I get to celebrate and praise God for every single day. SO blessed.

      Reply
  20. Lynn J Simpson says

    February 19, 2016 at 1:49 pm

    Yes it sounds like, although the clouds do cover the sun once in while, your place is bathed in a warmth of love no matter where you are! I love your idea of the 365 day treasure. Beautiful! Happy Anniversary! Marriage is something you get to celebrate every day, and we get to do this everyday too, for His love for us too.

    Reply
    • momcafe says

      February 24, 2016 at 1:10 pm

      I really thought my idea was pretty cool too, Lynn! It took FOREVER to write, 15 years ago. πŸ™‚ I love how you described love my friend. We truly do have a chance to celebrate our love every single day-and God’s love too. <3

      Reply
  21. Kristi Campbell says

    February 19, 2016 at 8:46 pm

    Aw happy happy anniversary to you and your husband, Chris! I know what you mean about the dreams and promises of always going to paradise for vacation to celebrate…and then the kids and life and surgeries and and. Sounds to me like you’ve got it covered with romance though and that home is its own paradise!

    Reply
    • momcafe says

      February 24, 2016 at 1:08 pm

      It is what it is, right? It’s amazing though, how there is really no place I’d rather be- than my own home with my family. It sounds so cliche and dreamy- but dang it, it’s true.

      Reply
  22. Dana says

    February 21, 2016 at 7:49 pm

    Happy belated anniversary, you crazy kids! On our honeymoon in Aruba, we vowed to go back for our tenth anniversary. We took the kids to Disney instead. We finally made it back for our 20th, but on our actual anniversary? We went to a field hockey game and drove carpool.

    Reply
    • momcafe says

      February 24, 2016 at 1:07 pm

      Ha! I love that Dana. True to LIFE, right? I’m SO glad you made it back for your 20th. LOVE that so so much. I’m thinking that will be our year to do something big too! We have five years to plan it. lol

      Reply
  23. Lux G. says

    February 22, 2016 at 12:19 pm

    Aw. Happy anniversary. Your story is fun and inspiring to read.
    Looking forward to my own marriage adventures.

    Reply
    • momcafe says

      February 24, 2016 at 1:06 pm

      Thanks for coming by to read it, Lux!! You surely will have your own adventures in time. For now, celebrate you just like you do, my friend!!

      Reply
  24. Elden Sarinana says

    March 13, 2016 at 12:06 am

    β€œ We had a party the day after our wedding. One hundred and twenty of our guests came to my parents’ house for a cookout. It wasn’t a necessity, but I loved sharing more intimate time with friends and familyβ€”and extending the celebration one extra day.” β€”Kate

    Reply
    • momcafe says

      March 22, 2016 at 11:36 pm

      WOW. That sounds like SO much fun. πŸ™‚ That’s a HUGE extended celebration, and I’m sure it was absolutely wonderful to see everyone after the more formal ‘big day’. πŸ™‚

      Reply

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