Today I welcome an awesome blogger/friend of mine from Another Jennifer! Her eclectic blog has many diverse posts related to motherhood, photography and Philanthropy. I am always inspired by her integrity and awareness of so many amazing organizations/people she shares information about in her weekly Friday Philanthropic posts. She has a passion for the stuff… and it shows! Today she shares her thoughts on motherhood…
You’re Doing Something Right
Parenting isn’t easy. I have days when I feel guilty for yelling at my kids, being impatient or not handling a situation in the best way.
But every now and then I get a nice reminder that I’m doing something right.
After a rare night out with friends, I came home to a four year old with a stomach bug. He got sick with the babysitter, and he kept getting sick once my husband came home from work. No one wanted to ruin my night out, so I found out when I came home. Though I initially felt guilty that I wasn’t there for him – because us moms torture ourselves this way – I was comforted that he had people who loved him to help him through the worst of his sickness.
I wasn’t home long before I heard Biz crying. I went upstairs, ready to comfort and disinfect, and my older son was already there. G, who is seven, had his arm around his little brother and was telling him that everything was going to be OK.
Turns out, this wasn’t the first time G got up to help his brother. His room is closer to Biz’s than ours, and so he was listening for his sick brother.
My husband and I often ask G to help us with his brother, and he never hesitates. Sometimes I wonder if we ask too much, but when I see how genuine he is with Biz, I realize that G really wants to help his brother.
Biz last woke up around 4:25am, and G was right there to help. I told him to go back to bed so that he wouldn’t be too tired for school. He asked me if I thought I should keep Biz home from pre-school and daycare that day. I told him not to worry about it. We’ll make sure Biz gets better.
Biz, of course, ended up staying home. He felt better, but he still couldn’t eat very much. He was on the couch watching movies for half the day and in bed “not sleeping” the other half. The funny thing is that G had an early release that day and though I offered to pick him up from school instead of sending him to daycare as planned, he opted to go to daycare to help out with the younger kids.
I honestly don’t know what I’d do without G those few days. It was hectic, with so many things going on personally and professionally. When I neglected to send a note in the next morning to allow him to take the bus to daycare so I could attend a later meeting, he went in and asked them to call me.
He keeps me in line, that kid. And he understands that sometimes even mom need a little help.
It makes me smile because though I am always quick to point out my parenting flaws, all I really need to do is to take a look my kids. They’re good kids. My husband and I try to teach them to be kind and to give back whenever possible. On more than one occasion G has been described to me as being a very thoughtful child that teachers and other authority figures appreciate having around. What else can you ask for?
So the next time you’re being hard on yourself as a mother, take a good look at your kids. I’m betting you’re doing something right too.
Jennifer Barbour is a copywriter, blogger, aspiring author and new media consultant. She aims to inspire, to entertain and to make you think. Her passions are writing, philanthropy, her awesome family and bacon, though not necessarily in that order. You can find out more at anotherjennifer.com.
How beautiful, and so true. We’re so hard on ourselves. Thank you, Jennifer, for this fantastic reminder.
LOVE your tagline, by the way! “Eat bacon.” That made me smile.
We are way too hard on ourselves. It’s nice to get a reminder every now and then. I’m happy to have made you smile today!
Yay! Thanks for having me in the “cafe” today.
It really is an HONOR Jennifer!!! SO glad you are here!! 🙂
Christine – I just found you from Mary at A Teachable Mom and just learned you’re in Columbus? Me too! Such a small world. 🙂
OH that is AMAZING!!! Where in Columbus do you live? We should meet for coffee and talk “BLOG”!!! 🙂 Email me and lets do it! SO glad you found my blog through Mary and looking forward to getting to know you Missy!
Oh, such a good, good reminder. I needed to read this today. I am so hard on my kids and really, if I take a step back, you’re right…they’re good kids that are respectful and kind. Great read and I can totally relate because I have a sick 3 year old at the moment.
So happy you could relate to this post, AnnMarie. I think, as moms, we’re way too critical of ourselves. We need that reminder every now and then that we’re not doing everything wrong (even if it feels like we are)!
Thank you Chris! What a wonderful guest to post! Her writing style is so very honest and relate-able (same as yours!)Love this post!
Thanks, Marcia! 🙂
What a precious story and what a blessing to have a big brother that always has your back.
Thanks, Stephanie. Biz is a lucky boy.
Oh, Jennifer! First of all, I a loving seeing you at Mom Cafe (Chris, I swear lately you have had all of my favorite gals here!) And I am totally feeling the heart warming-ness of this with you. Yes, you ARE doing something right for G to be that compassionate and to take great care of Biz as well as others. Sometimes, it’s takes a bad incident to really drive that home – like a stomach bug. For me it was a night in the ER with my youngest daughter, where my older 2 were just amazing with her. Let’s hear it for siblings who stand by each other!
Yes! It’s wonderful to see, isn’t it?
Ilene… I just LOVE that you are LOVING my guests over here!! (We have the same great taste in blog friends eh?) I am so glad to see your lovely name in the comments! Any time you want to guest post over at my place, just give me a holler!! Join the faves!!! I’m on a ROLL!!! 😉
Chris, I would SO love to guest for you. It would be an honor!
Oh NO Ilene…the honor is ALL MINE!! 🙂 YAY!! Lets chat via email and plan it!
I’d love to see Ilene on The Mom Cafe. We need to all meet in person some time. Anyone else going to BlogHer 13?
I applied to volunteer at Blogher ’13… hoping I can do that and save money!! It’s just SO expensive!! 🙁
Another Jennifer!! I read her blog! Whoo Hoo! How fun to click and see a guest poster that I know! 🙂
This post made me tear up because it’s so true! I often feel like I am just blowing it…but my kids are actually great. They are! I’m probably not so bad after all! 🙂 I needed this post today!! –Lisa
Yay! I’m so happy to hear other moms relate to this post. We’re really not that bad!
That is great advice. We get so focused in on all the things we think we do wrong or badly we forget to look at all the good we do. What a sweet young boy you have raised!
Thanks, Kim. We so need to focus more on the positive!
Aw, so nice that everyone waited to let you have your night out. And I love the older brother helping. My little one is nine-months-old and my older is three. She can only do so much at her young age to help, but she really stretches her limits in trying to soothe her brother when he’s upset. It warms my heart so much. I can’t wait to see it develop more and more.
It’s so fun to see that sibling relationship grow. Warms your heart is right!
Thanks, Kim. G’s the best. Sometimes I wonder where he came from. 🙂
I think it’s essential that we take a moment every once in a while to pat ourselves on the back for a job well done!
Absolutely, Rabia!
Awesome story. I think kids want to help more than we expect. I think being given the opportunity to help means the most to them, especially if they have that caring trait at the core – your child definitely has it.
It’s good to get a reminder. It kind of offsets seeing bad words scribbled on their notebooks or emails from teachers!
Or, so I’ve heard.
Ha! Yes, we all have our moments. Sometimes kids just need to feel empowered.
{Melinda} What an encouraging post! 🙂 Yes, we tend to focus on the negative and on our shortcomings, but often we are doing so many things right that we don’t give ourselves credit for. And I pray daily God will fill in where I fall short — and He does!
Yes! We need to give ourselves credit and realize we are not alone in this whole mothering thing.
You made me cry!! Thank you for this post, I (like many Moms) don’t pat myself on the back enough. When I look at my son it seems that I must be doing something right too.
Your kids sound great! 🙂
Thanks, Joanna. They are great. I’m sure your son is too! Don’t forget to pat yourself on the back today!
Some days it’s harder than other to see if I’m doing anything right at all!!! But other times, like when my kids unexpectedly share or do something really nice, I think, MAYBE I’m not so bad after all!!
Exactly, Alexa!