I sit here empty. Depleted from life’s circumstances that have been peeling layer upon layer off of me, leaving me whittled to the bone. So much has happened in the last two weeks, that every corner of my life has been burdened with heavy weight. I have tried to keep from getting submerged by the ever-growing tides that keep crashing in, and I still stand in victory that I have yet to be washed up on the shore lifeless and hopeless. I’m not there. I’m simply treading the waves with prayer and His endurance keeping me afloat.
We’ve all been there, yes? Things can come at you from all angles, when we least expect it. Sometimes they are even good things mixed in the heavy-hearted trauma that can grip your heart and hold you down. I have been blessed with light amidst the ongoing pieces that have fallen. Oh there is much light surrounding me, and in me! So I must go forward armed with that light and carry on my mission in many places that call my name.
Here’s the deal. At this very moment, I don’t have the time or capacity to carry out this mission in the blog world. Not right now. I have countless bloggers whom I adore, and I want so badly to keep reading, connecting, loving and laughing along this journey together with them. With you. This blog world is full of life and love and deep friendships that I treasure with all my heart. It’s what we do.
It starts with obligation. There is the need to reach out and reciprocate their precious love for my words and my message. It then reaches a steady commitment that radiates among the blogosphere. I become entrenched with so many lives, that I immerse myself in their words and long to connect and encourage and give back. Friendships are founded, and we do what friends do…
We reciprocate.
Blogging reciprocity.
It’s a beautiful thing.
Oh, so beautiful.
Here’s where life shifts and the true test of friendships and commitments will either rise and continue to take flight, or land and slowly dissipate. Friendships in real life do the same, don’t they? A friend stops calling, and we either don’t call back or we give more and realize they are in a place of receiving- not giving. As loyal as friendship can be, it sometimes fails to follow through when the fragile pendulum swings out of balance. A friend stops giving… we do too.
This is my fear. Always.
Is it yours?
I hate to think of friendship in this way, but it is the harsh reality of our human condition, really. Sometimes it’s just a natural transition that occurs in a poorly maintained relationship. Sometimes life situations cause a turn that sacrifices a devotion to another.
Whatever the reason, it happens.
I am going to face this fear now. In order to sustain my endurance and fuel my light, I must surrender this need in order to breath life into the crises AND opportunities that have been unfolding behind this screen. My husband and children are healthy and wonderfully blessed. My dear core family is intact, however there are other family members who are suffering tragic hardships right now- and without divulging confidential information, I will ask you for your prayers for them. It is a nightmare, and I pray for God to breath strength and mercy into their lives. I also have taken on the teen ministry for my church, in addition to the vital ministries I am already engaged in… This is a critical time, as we start to launch new programs and make some transitions within my fellowship. I must open more space for this. As most of my dear readers know, I have regular writing obligations to three additional sites- and I will not let them down. This is my nutshell explanation, offered only to satisfy your sweet concern.
LOTS of good things, but some tragic circumstances as well…
Pendulum swings…
I will keep writing, during those moments of quiet I can grasp… I must. Writers get this.
But it’s the reading that I must break from, temporarily. Just until the undertow dissipates, and the storms settle. For now, I take the risk of losing this very precious piece of my life, to weather the winds and battle the waters outside of it. This blog, and you mean the world to me. I absolutely love reading and connecting with so many beautiful souls I have come to truly understand and love. I pray I come back to those friendships still alive and well. Oh, how I pray.
I hope you keep calling, dear friends. Even when I don’t return your messages. Please know you are on my heart so very often, and I hold my breath waiting to get back to you. I will. I promise. Because that’s what friends do. And I am honored- so very honored…
To call you friend.
I’m just giving myself a week, maybe two…
Okay?
You know how much I love you…
Right?
I want to support you…
Do you know that?
Oh, how I do.
I will.
Soon.
I’ll be back.
Hang in there, sister.
Take care of you and yours first, always.
Sending you what I’ve got.
xo
Oh Galit- thank you so very much. I am so grateful you came by to touch my heart with your lovely ‘note’. It means the WORLD to me!!!
Thank you friend. I appreciate you so very much. XOXOXO
You’ll be back. I’ll still be here.
These storms come to everyone, and you’re absolutely right to prioritise. But thanks anyway for such a gorgeous explanation, even though it contains such urgency and challenge (both positive and negative).
Glad you’re still afloat. Stay that way if at all possible.
Sending you several hundred million lines
_____________________________________
_____________________________________
_____________________________________
_____________________________________
_____________________________________
_____________________________________
_____________________________________
(or take these seven and times them by seventy – that could work too)
Do you KNOW how much I love love love your response here? Oh, so much. It took my breath away when I first read it, and it still does. You always ALWAYS know what to say. I love that about you, sweet friend.
I love the seven times seventy- oh my heart. Yes.
And I am taking those hundred million lines.. as best I can. I love that you give them so freely- and I love you for always always being there.
I’ll be back- of COURSE! You KNOW I can’t stay away… it’s killing me to not go and read your posts NOW!!! But this is good. It’s really good. For now…
TIGGER LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’ll always have lines for you.
But I’m better than this. You’ll see 🙂
MADTIGGERLOVE *hugs*
And seven times seventy once more, and each day until you can breathe, my Lovely <3
You- my dear lovely- are the LOVELIEST LOVE AROUND!!!!
Seriously.
I mean it.
You know that, don’t you?
You better.
Now…
Cause you are.
🙂
I know that you mean it 🙂
Take all the time you need! Sending prayers and positive energy your way.
AW! Thanks SO much Jhanis! I so appreciate you, your prayers and positive energy!! XOXO
Like most friendships, there are blogging friendships that are fragile and that end at the first “no follow” and there are others that can endure time without that reciprocity. I don’tr read blogs the way I used to because, well…..building a granola empire takes time. 🙂 Those who love me are still around and those who just wanted the follow aren’t. And those that I truly love, I am in touch with as much as I can be and they know that.
We love you and we’re here for you. I’m sticking with you no matter what. But you knew that. xxxxxoooo
I LOVE YOU no matter WHERE we are in this world- but you knew that too. XOXOXO
And yes- true friends show up. That’s what they do. SO get that.
HUGS. Kisses. Man sweaters. POOMA’s. Swearing, drinking smoking and everything in between… you’re my girl. Always. 🙂
Thinking of you, friend. The great thing I’ve found about friendships is even when they do shown signs of wear and tear, they can always be revived. We will be here when you get back.
Thanks my friend- I believe that too. And you KNOW I will be back to read your gorgeous words… soon! XOXO
I’m sending prayers your way, darlin’. And trust me, I so get the need for the break. Doesn’t mean the love isn’t there, but there’s only so much time. My mother always said there “wasn’t much sense in spreading yourself too thin!”
Love you.
Oh Michelle! you are such a DEAR to share such beautiful sentiments with me.. It’s SO true- it’s doesn’t mean the love ISN’T there at all. It’s SO there- always. Gosh, I wish I could heed your mother’s wise words! Sigh…
I love you too. Know that! XOXO
Chris, I will be here and if you need anything let me know. Trust me, I do a lot of blog reading daily and had to cut back late last year doing designs, too. So, believe me when I say this, I do get the fear of cutting back and losing readers. Just know that those who love you and your blog will never be far away. Thinking of you and sending extra hugs today!! 🙂
Oh Janine! You are SUCH a love! Your words mean so so much to me… thank you thank you thank you. XOXOXO
It’s a journey Christine. Take the time you need to prioritize, tend, pray, serve… and care for yourself too:) Sending love your way!
Oh such beautiful words from you!! Thanks so much my friend- they just warmed my heart and brought me peace. Truly!
“Prioritize, tend, pray, serve, self…”
Perfect. 🙂
You are one of the most supportive blogging friends I have – I’m sure that anyone has. Sending my prayers to you and your family members that need them. When you come back, I’ll be here.
Oh Dana!!! I am SO honored that you feel that way!! I adore you- everything about you. I am SOOOO grateful we have connected! Is it weird that I am totally missing you already? Yes- it’s been FOUR days. ACK! 😉
Be back SOON. You know I will!
Not to worry! Sending prayers for peace and a restful heart. Take care.
Thanks so much Andrea! I need the break, so I can focus on what’s going on and not feel that overwhelmed and furiously and frantically living. I must pull back- and I already feel my peace flow in. This is a strong wave of goings on, that I just couldn’t keep my head above water. Had to cry for Mercy!
I’ll be back soon. Promise!
I pray peace and balance for you sweet friend. I so understand the excitement yet burden of a plate just a tad too full. And the fact you are apologizing in advance for not supporting and encouraging us fellow bloggers for a short while? What a precious heart you have! I will lift you up as have me. And I am sure many others will do the same. You are loved.
Oh Karmen!! Your words are SO precious to me! Thank you dear friend. Thank you so so much. You have blessed me so… XOXO
No need to justify or feel obligated.
NO!!!!!!!!
We must do what we do in order to survive.
FAMILY is ALWAYS first.
Love, Blessings, Kisses from Minnesota.
Ps. If you need to call me personally, contact me for my phone number. Xxx
Oh Kim…. you are such a LOVE!!! Thanks my dear friend- for your sweet encouragement and your precious offer. I will contact you if in need… bless you!!!
Oh friend, take all the time you need. Life is more important. Do what you need to do for yourself and for your family and friends. We will ALL still be here, reading what you write when you do, sending you virtual love, etc. Thinking of you and sending up prayers.-The Dose Girls
It means the WORLD to me that your support never fails… ever!! THIS is why you girls are such a beautiful pair of faithful and devoted friends. Oh, how I adore you!! SO grateful. XOXO
Do what you can do. That is all you can do.
We will be here when you get back. NO hard feelings. Just excitement to see you, and to know that hopefully it means life has slowed down in your real world.
I am pulling back for just a while- I needed to regain some strength and perspective and offer my energy and time to my family. It’s been liberating, really- to focus on limited things and not feel so overwhelmed with spreading myself EVERYWHERE. I’m glad I am taking this break- as hard as it is to not ‘connect’….it’s good.
Be back SOON!!! 🙂
Oh Chris. We understand. We are also honored to be one of the chosen three. Chin up, my dear. We love you.
AW! SO LOVELY to see you back here, honey!!! I have missed you so very much!! Thanks for your precious encouragement and I am so honored that YOU are one of my chosen three! (I hope you received my post, btw!!! lol)
be back in the ‘game’ soon- I have to. Cause on the field are some amazing friends. And for THAT, I am blessed.
Chris, first – ove and prayers comin’ straight at you. BIG. Did you feel it? Did it feel like a warm hug? Good.
I do consider us friends, and I’m not going anywhere. I don’t need a comment or a *like* from you to know that. You take the time you need for those that should come first.
I’ll be here. Always. Always.
CRAZYMADLOVE!
B xo
Mmmmm…. YUMMY!!! I felt it. I did!!
I love you for ‘sticking’. SO very much. I miss you- but this is good. I need to focus on what I need to focus on, ya know?
I’ll be back- of COURSE I’ll be back!!
LOVE and prayers. Not ove. that would be weird.
BWAHAHAHAHA!!!! That WOULD be weird. Indeed. But kinda funny too… which I love. A lot. 😉
The blog reciprocity thing can be a heavy burden – especially when there is so much upheaval in our “real lives.” Rest assured, my friend, that your blogging buddies will be here whenever you are ready to come back. In the meantime, we will understand completely. We will also send may prayers and virtual hugs your way!
Thanks SO much Lisa!! It’s such a comfort to know my true friends are right there with such beautiful support! Thanks for your prayers- my family needs them. It’s been hard to NOT read and engage- because I love so many of you girls!!! But- it has also been liberating, so I can actually focus and not feel overwhelmed at doing it “all”. For that I am grateful I am taking my “time out”. XOXO
Oh honey. I was holding my breath and I am so very happy your core family is intact.
Very upset that others in your life aren’t, though. I’m going through the same thing. My core family is intact (well Des has a cold) and the rest of the world isn’t faring so luckily.
This is so beautiful! So beautiful. I would have just written, “Dudes. I’m up to my ears here! Don’t hate me. I’ll be back soon.”
And you spun a gorgeous call to prayers and peace. And I think you know this, but I’m not going anywhere!
Oh Tamara!!! I just adore you SO SO MUCH!!! I love your comment- oh how I LOVE it!!! Thanks so much dear friend- for being you YOU YOU you!!!!! (missing you!!!! SO hard to let go…. be back soon!)
I’ve had you on my mind lately, noticing your absence and meaning to reach out. I will keep you and your family in my prayers my friend. Here for you now, while you’re gone, and upon your return. Keep on keepin’ on!
Thanks SO much Leah!! Do you know I have had your book on my table for WEEKS ready to write a post- I want you to know, that I lingered reading it on purpose!!! I wanted to soak in each chapter and take my sweet time- taking in your sweet words. I can’t WAIT to share my review with you and my readers!! Promise to get it out within the next few weeks, okay? Will let you know…
DO NOT feel guilty for putting this on the back burner. This is the thing w/ people like you and I who feel the need to do everything and make everyone happy…eventually something’s gotta give. I so feel your fear of what will happen if you don’t pay attention to the blogs you love. But they will be there when your schedule permits you to get to them. And we all understand and don’t fault you one tiny bit. Do what you need to do. We’ll be right here waiting when you get back.
I love you so much Stephanie- your words right there just made me feel SO loved and brought me much peace… What a blessing you are to me. You get it, I know you do! XOXO
As you can see, we will all be here for you Chris. I will be praying for you. You need to take care of the important things in life. I understand this completely. We can wait a little while for the next blog post. Love you!
Thanks so much dear friend… your support means SO much to me. You know that, right? XOXOXO
I haven’t been blogging long. And I never set out to. I’m an author. My first book came out last year and I found myself blogging to help promote. Then the whole social media whirlwind. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t feel horribly overwhelmed. I totally understand where you’re coming from. I would love to have tons of readers but they do too. How can we reciprocate with everyone? Its impossible. And stressful. I’ve met so many great folks to so I want to support them…all…but how?
No answers. Just understanding. Get a good rest. Take a good breath.
EXACTLY Kathleen!!! EXACTLY!!! Every single word of your comment speaks my heart, and probably all bloggers’ hearts! I love what you said- just so true and yet, we must figure out the balance and juggle it daily. And then sometimes we need a break. Like now~
I am so glad I took that step of faith and am getting a bit of respite from it all. I miss the dear friends and the valuable words I am not reading- but I need this. Taking my breath. Feels so good. 🙂
Dear Chris,
Blogging can be such a task master, can’t it? Well, at least the engaging, networking, building community.
As you know, I’m new at this–just beginning–but this I’ve already learned: if people drop you like a hot potato when you have to step back and LIVE, they weren’t really your blog friends at all.
Those who read what you share from your heart, who follow because they care, get it. We all have lives to live! Let’s face it, when life happens, blogging doesn’t seem so important in the grand scheme of things.
Praying for you and your family. No need to feel like you’re letting your readers down. We’re here!
On a side note, thanks so much for being an encouragement to me over at my little blog! Can’t tell you how often you showed up just in the nick of time, saying just the right thing!
Many blessings, C
Oh Colleen!! You just don’t know how much your precious words mean to me… truly!! You are so right… I must trust that I have invested in friends that stick around. I know they (and you) are golden, loyal and always supportive. I am so grateful for every single soul I have been blessed in becoming friends with in this on line world!!
I love your blog and I am SO glad my words meant something to you, my friend! Seriously- SO glad you told me that. I never knew… 🙂
Chris, you do what you have to do. We love you and understand. Make the main thing the main thing, and we will be here for you through it all. Hugs, Ali
I love that Ali… that is perfectly put. I am doing just that- for now. It’s SO hard to let go of my dear friends here for a bit of time!! But I also feel the pressure release and my freedom rise, so that I can use my time where it is needed. I love you and our friendship so much- I am SO glad we have connected, my dear friend. SO glad. XOXO
Take as much time as you need! I’m always a reader but I slack in the comments. And by “always” I mean when I’m not in my own slump!
Thanks so much Kate!! I appreciate that so much, my friend. XOXO
Chris, I have been on the wrong end of losing a real life friendship in the exact manor you described (where she quit making any effort) – it was awful when I tried to figure out what was going on and sadly a friend that i considered family (the kind of friend that I drove 12 hours through the night when she needed me on more than one occasion) no longer wanted to be friends because she was at a different place in her life. Not sure why that meant a friendship had to end.
The whole point of my novel is just to say that in my world, friends stand by friends no matter what. I love reading your words and hope you don’t think I expect anything in return. I will keep reading and commenting even if you take a permanent break from reading.
And, I’m praying for you and all of the circumstances that you are dealing with right now. I’m glad that you are the one who is there for those who need you!!!
I love you Kim. I really love you…
You are the goods, my friend. The true and real and loyal and trusting and faithful friend we ALL need.
Thank you. From the bottom of my heart. <3
I’m a fairly new blogging buddy, Chris. I’ll still be here when life opens up a little time to share. My thoughts and prayers are with you as you begin an exciting journey and with your family members who need some support.
Thanks SO much Jennifer… you are such a love. I am SO glad we have connected, and I appreciate your sweet support more than you know!
I’ve had to do it, too, girl. No worries. I understand, and if you can stand by me in my absence with understanding, patience and love, I can do the same for you. 🙂 I wish I could be around more (and I have not forgotten about the blog post I promised to you, and have been working on one and hope to eventually have 2, if you’ll have them), but life changes and obligations make that an impossibility more often than not, and it saddens me, too. Stay well, my friend, and know that you and yours are always in my thoughts and prayers even if I am not always able to tell you so!
Oh Julie!! Your words touch my heart SO deeply!!! Thanks for you precious love and support and you KNOW I would GLADLY take your postS- any time you are ready… no rush, nor worries! I pray you are doing okay honey. You’re such a beautiful soul!! XOXO
Hey girl!! I’m sitting here smiling from ear to ear, because.I.know.where.you’re.at!! Why, because I’m there too! 😉 I am at this very moment writing my fair well post(for the month of March), lol, to be published tonight. Like you, everything is going great(actually better than it’s ever been), but I’ve never been as busy as I’ve been since the new year started. Because of that, I just can’t. Too funny though, I wouldn’t have even visited, but I saw this on FB, lol, and had to come over. I get it Chris and definitely understand. We’ll be praying for each other in this season! LOVE YOU SO MUCH MY FRIEND!!!! And I’ll see you in April darlin’. Stay blessed and I’ll miss you!! xoxoxo
Isn’t that CRAZY??? You and me both, girl!!! I miss you already!!! I love that you are so strong in your priorities and know what’s best for you and your family and your mission. Good for YOU Michell!!!! Embrace it girl!! See ya when you return. I love you so much. XOXO
No explanation necessary! But feel free to ignore the tweet I just sent you.
; )
Hold your loved ones tight. That’s all that really matters. We understand.
Thanks so much for thinking of me with that tweet Nicole!!!! It was all I could do to NOT go read…. trying to set limits. SO HARD!!!! Focusing on what is most important right now as best I can. Miss you!
Completely understand — your family and life outside blog world must always take precedence!
And, I can’t think of a better teen minister!
Oh you are SO sweet to say that Christina!! Thanks so much my friend… for your grace and your support!!
Look at all of these wonderful friends you have. That is awesome and a testament to your loving, giving ways. I’ll be here, waiting and praying. xo
I am SO blessed with so many beautiful souls to love and care about here… in this beautiful on line world!! It is real though- so very real. And my friendships here are real and alive and I am so blessed by each one of them- and YOU!! Thank you for your prayers, sweet one. I am so grateful.
I’ll be here when you get back and send huge huge prayers and strength to your family members who are dealing with so much right now.
XO
I agree that you’ll be The Best Teen Minister ever!! Ever. Fill them with your love.
Thanks Kristi- so very much. They could use all the prayers they can get. I have spent as much time as I can helping anyway I know how. I love your support dear… so grateful!
I get this. To my very core and you know that. That’s all. Oh and I love you.
I know you absolutely GET this! I am liberated and it feels good…although I am missing my dear blogging friends SO much!!! 🙁
Chris, take all the time you need. We’ll still be here! {{{{{hugs}}}}}
Thanks SO much my dear friend. I appreciate you! XOXO
I’ve had to step back for a bit too – and sure, there are many bloggers who stop coming around. But many who do. The ones that do are really the ones that were there all along and you don’t have to worry about them going anywhere. Take your time. Be good to yourself. xo
I love that Leah… you’re so right. And I love your blog and your words and YOU. Will be back soon. Cause we’re ‘tight’ like that!! 🙂
Thinking of you. I totally get this and it has completely been my fear but I’ve had to pull back…a lot in the past couple of months. A combination of personal things and trying to direct energy towards opportunities and career and yes, unfortunately I’ve had to pull back on the reading and writing. I know that you have some pretty amazing friends in the blogosphere who will stand by you!!
Oh Christine!! I am SO glad you stopped by here! We simply MUST connect more! (As we talk about trying to pull back! HA!) I do hope you have great prosperity in ANY endeavor you pursuit, my friend. You so deserve it. And I do pray your ‘personal things are moving forward with purpose and direction as well…
XOXO
Thinking of you, Chris. It’s been a rough start to the year for me and I’ve had a hard time keeping up. And then when I do catch up, I catch up a whole bunch at once and I read 3 or 4 or 5 or 6 posts. I’m not going anywhere though, Chris. Sometimes I wait to read your posts until I have time to sit and think about them, because they’re always so full of meaning. I treasure our friendship and can’t tell you how glad I am we “met.” I hope someday we meet in real life!
I love that you save time to read my posts and wait until you have some quiet in your day to do that, Michelle!! Oh, how much that means to me to read your sweet words. I am so grateful for you!! And we MUST meet someday- it will happen. Oh, how freaking AWESOME that will be!!! 🙂 🙂 🙂
Prayers coming your way for you and your family. I pray that you will find peace and healing. I pray that your mind will be clear and you will be able to focus on what matters without feeling unnecessary guilt over letting things slip that aren’t as important. And I pray that you will find time to care for yourself. Whatever it is that feeds your soul, that makes your heart happy, I hope you’re finding time for that. When you have such a caring heart it’s so easy to give until you have nothing left. That’s not healthy for anyone.
He is with you. Your heart is good. Things will settle. And I believe in you!
Robin, I am saving this comment to read over and over again- for ALL those times when I can’t see straight and my clarity is warped and clouded. Thank you love. Your wisdom and faith inspire me, always. XOXO