As my hubby, and two kids were scurrying around the kitchen this morning, out of the blue my five-year old begins a meltdown of sorts throwing a fit exclaiming with a pathetically terrified voice….
“MOMMY’S TURNING INTO A GRANDMA!!!!”
“NO REALLY!!! SHE’S TURNING INTO A GRANDMA!!”
“HER HAIR IS TURNING WHITE!!! IT’S GROWING EVERYWHERE!!!”
My daughter responds to my defense…..
“No she’s not! Would ya look at this bod? (She rolls her hands down my frame as if selling me for money on the street corner…) She looks like she is in her thirties!!!!”
“BUT LOOK AT ALL THIS WHITE HAIR!!!! (as he grabs my “bod” and climbs up to my head pointing at my lovely skunkies on the side of my head) THAT IS LIKE A GRANDMA!!!”
My husband and I are now laughing and I immediately go to my daughter’s side on this one as I hold her and thank her for her support. My son however, is still not convinced.
Oh dear….
One awful, awkward, fleeting and funny moment of innocent opinion and terrifying judgement for us both. I told him he was cuter when he told me I looked “hot in the eighties”….now he’s just pushing it to the limit with the “grandma panic” thing. Really? Am I THAT old already? Or can I just chalk it up to some five-year old’s ineptness and pathetic, distorted observations of the world around him. I mean, he’s only five for crying out loud! What in the world does he know? He’s the one who still pays me to wipe his butt….and and AND, he doesn’t even know all the small case letters of the alphabet! He thinks he knows what “grandma hair” is??????? Well, maybe he should get some lessons on how to gel his own hair back without looking like a goofball! Yeah! And another thing…. If he didn’t keep me up most nights with all the crying, and reflux, and asthma, and night terrors, and bed wetting…just maybe, MAYBE I would have NO “GRANDMA HAIR” at all!!!!!!
Ah……………..feel better.
This was funny but I know how you feel I have a son. Thanks for the great post.
Thanks for your comment! Glad to know other moms have boys like mine!
I am getting Grandma hair so I know how you are feeling. I wish it was easy to get rid of the gray hair. Keep up the stories they make me laugh.
Alisha
OH thank you for your post! You made me smile two times…one because you also have grey hair so I am not alone! And two because you laugh at my stories!!!
Sometimes kids can be too honest. Dye your hair that is what i do.
Lol! Oh I totally feel you on this one! My kids often do this about my weight. They talk about my “giggly” stomach , my big butt, and countless other things that just put a swift kick in my self esteem! I often find myself going through the same things in my head!
Oh so glad to hear I’m not the only mom whose kids always point out my flaws in the most brutal of ways! 🙂 Thanks so much for your post!!!!
Love, love, love this one. Gray hair….it’s just a reflection of all my many years of loving my family (pets included) and friends AND all the experiences/adventures that come with them. Yes, I color my hair also. My one treat for myself. Your son can be so convincing, brutally honest and so dang cute all at the same time.
P.S. Who are you calling old?
Ouch!
And, yes, if they didn’t keep us up at night… lol…. You’re little guy sounds like mine that way.
Don’t our children age us so?! I always say I have tripled my age since I had kids… the wear and tear I tell ya! 🙂 Thanks so much for grabbing a minute to read this post and respond!! SO kind of you!