Snow days always start with a “YIPPEE!!!” and a “YAHOO!!!”, as we celebrate a day to stay home and snuggle and watch movies and color and play games and watch the snow and ice fall outside when we are warm and safe in our beautiful cozy home!
The snow days always turn into:
“IF I SAY THAT ONE…..I SAY ONE MORE TIME…. JUST ONE MORE TIME….. I AM GONNA HAVE TO HURT YOU BADLY AND THEN I WILL GO TO JAIL AND YOU WILL NEVER SEE ME AGAIN! YOU WILL CRY AND FEEL BAD FOR ALL THE EVIL THINGS YOU DID TODAY TO DRIVE MOMMY INSANE AND YOU WILL HAVE NO MOTHER FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!!!!!!!” (Kids laughing running around house with total crazed look in their eyes literally bouncing off the walls as they continue to completely ignore what I am shouting….)
“I MEAN IT YOU LITTLE PEOPLE!!!! TO YOUR ROOMS NOW! FOR THE TENTH TIME YOU ARE BOTH ON A TIME OUT!!!!! (Screaming, laughing, now tackling each other and wrestling….inevitably, someone gets hurt. Now one starts to cry, both kicking, scratching, and hitting as the other one cries….)
“I TOLD YOU SOMEONE WAS GOING TO GET HURT!!!! DID I TELL YOU????”
(MAAAAAAAAAAAAHMEEEEEEEE! One of them screaming for me…..) “Okay…now calm down…..where did you get hurt? “HEY! STOP KICKING NOW!!!!! I know you are mad, but what is our saying????”
(“If you’re gonna play rough, you gotta be tough.”)
“All better? I know I see the scratches your brother gave you. I know…..awful child he is…..I know” Oh I am just KIDDING son! You aren’t awful! Oh now stop crying…..I was just joking! Yeah, I know she kicked you….both of you say you’re sorry please. Now you can both say your sorry because you both got hurt. Okay, I know you hurt too honey. I hear you. I know your pain. Feel your pain. Got it. Mmmmmm, ouch, that must’ve hurt. Oh I know you hurt too honey. Okay- are we ready to apologize and play nicely?
Thank you. Can we now pick up the mess you left behind? Hey, guys…..where are you going???? HEY KIDS!! GET BACK HERE NOW!!!! OKAY- THAT’S IT! I AM TAKING EVERYTHING AWAY!!! NO TV! NO TOYS! NOTHING FOR YOU TO DO BUT SIT IN YOUR ROOMS FOR THE REST OF THE DAY!!!!” (What was I thinking threatening that one? Am I going to torture myself more today with nothing for them to do?????)
(They start scurrying around the house to pick up things as they beg me to not take anything away……)
“Thank you! Okay…..I can’t even see the floor down here!” (basement playroom) Can you both come down here and clean this mess up please?” (Simply amazing that literally ten minutes in the basement can result in a complete disaster of chaos and forts gone bad and toys thrown about the room…amazing.)
“NO you cannot have another treat today! Stop whining……okay you need to stop now!” (Son throws tantrum that I ignore… for treat he will never get until he’s at least 18 years old now)
“OF COURSE you can’t have a treat either!”(daughter pulls the same stunt)
“AAAHHHH!” (total exasperation)
(I end up picking up entire basement as they maybe get one toy put away with the greatest of efforts known to children-kind. Pulling myself back to together with a deep breath, I decide it’s craft time…..)
“Come on guys!! CRAFT TIME! Lets see what we want to do?”
“YIPPEE!!! CRAFTS!!!” (They exclaim)
About 30 minutes later, the entire dining room is flooded with feathers, puff balls, felt, paper shreddings, glue gobs, paint, etc etc etc! Kids off and running again…
Me singing… “Clean up, clean up, everybody do your share! Clean up clean up, everybody everywhere!” (silence)
“HEY GUYS! COME CLEAN UP THIS MESS!” (silence)
Sigh….
“Mommy, I am hungry! When’s lunch?” Says my daughter who suddenly appears.
“I just finished cleaning up breakfast honey, please help with the clean up. Where’s your brother??? He needs to help too…..”
“Mom, can you please wipe my butt? PAAAAHLEEEEZE!!!!!” (I know he’s out of money!!!!! What’s he gonna bargain with now?)
All before ten.
HaHa!!! Okay, so my kids aren’t even yet in school, so I can’t blame our insanity on snow days, but I feel like this every day! Thanks for making me feel normal, Chris, b/c this is EXACTLY how it goes down at my house!
Oh yes Meredith!!! I remember THOSE days before school… bouncing OFF the walls with complete and total INSANITY!!! Motherhood rocks doesn’t it? I mean literally ROCKS. 😉 (Rocks our homes, and our souls…to the core!)
May I come to your house and pretend I am your third child a boy/girl person to play make crafts out of puffs and snuggle and eat yummy lunch and treats when I am a really good boy/girl? YES! YIPPEE!!!!!!!!!
HAHAHAHAHA!!! Full CIRCLE baby!!!! And the universe tilts to the left… LOL
Cannot stop laughing!! YES!!! That is EXACTLY like every snow day!
“Both of you…TO YOUR ROOMS” is something I must say at least 20 times…with a bit of “I’M NOT KIDDING” thrown in for good measure.
So glad to know I’m not the only one!! 🙂
HA!!! How does it spiral out of control EVERY. SINGLE. SNOW. DAY. Oh, who am I kidding… EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. 😉
I’m here fantasizing about having an actual snow day, where there’s snow. Good ‘ol Florida. That sounds like my house on the weekends. I can’t imagine my kids getting much older.Oh. Boy. Thank God for nap time. I think I’m gonna make them take naps until they graduate high school.
Think summer day in Florida…stuck in the AC. LOL! Do you know I made my kids nap as LONG as humanly possible for this very reason!!!! Seriously- kept them up LATE just so they would be tired for a nap the next day. I just desperately needed the T.O. It’s all in the strategy!! Right? (And good luck with the nap thing… it’s brutal when that phase ends!!!)
I can’t…I just can’t..I am laughing so loud. Apparently I am not the only mom who has used the ..”I’ll wind up in jail” line with my kids! Chris, this is so funny because it’s true! And I think the thing with snow days is that I like the *idea* of them more than being in the house with my kids for an unexpected extra 12 hours – beyond the first 10- minutes when the love of playing in the snow wears off. Great post! Glad you recycled it and shared it with us!
I am SOOOOO GLAD you stopped by Ilene!!! You and I are so much alike with this shindig! I always start the snow day off in the best mood…so relieved I don’t have to go out in the cold and snow and ice- stay warm in the house and spend lovely awesome “quality time” with my kiddos. Uh. No. Never. Happens. Ever. 🙂
I love this. Because why? I used to live this! BWAH! I made a comment the last “snow” we had (the term is used loosely) that the best part about older kids and snow is that THEY get to dress and undress themselves 5,000 times. They also care a little bit less and will sleep until 11 and then maybe get up for a frolick in the snow. Of course, a part of me also misses the kid enthusiasm of snow 🙂
Oh man… I cannot WAIT for the days when they sleep IN and can put their OWN SNOW GEAR ON!!!!! 🙂 But then I will miss them snuggling on my lap and saying “mommy” instead of “yo mom”. And I will miss all their sweet smiles and how they always want hugs and kisses all day.
Ahhh- It’s good trade off though! Yup. lol
You know what’s another good tradeoff?? They’ll happily veg on the sofa all day watching movies, surfing the ‘net and eating comfort food with you! WINNING!
AW MAN!!!! I want YOUR kids on a snow day!!! Say, do they actually MAKE their own food to munch on too? And uh how about they make the food for YOU?? Do they? Huh? Crap. I want older kids.
Hah! Sometimes. Usually they still ask me to do it and I stomp around and give the necessary complaints and then do it because I know that it wasn’t that long ago I was dressing them 5,000 times for the day and pretty soon, I won’t even have this.
Ah yes. Oh, so beautifully said.. Well played my new friend. Well played. 🙂 We’ll count our blessings as we go down our different motherhood paths together. And cherish each season as they come…and go.
I just loved this fun conversation. Just loved it. (insert big read heart here)
I can’t relate..actually have no idea what you are talking about…EVERY DAY is like a snow day at our house with homeschool and it is always just a picture of 3 quiet, calm children peacefully playing or learning separately or together in perfect harmony. They clean up every mess without being told and flush every toilet after use. They speak respectfully to each other at all times and wait patiently for food at meal times. They use the utmost manners in all their requests and use indoor voices instinctively! They eagerly but politely request more learning worksheets and excitedly sharpen their pencils for the day ahead. I don’t have to clean house because they divide that up too (including laundry!) and have it all taken care of. The older ones are even handling basic meal prep! They give me 2 hrs of interrupted silence in the afternoons for me to watch TV/check email and sip coffee. I couldn’t ask for a more perfect balance. Sorry, just couldn’t get where you were comin from on this one dear but better luck to you next snow day!
Oh, and for those that don’t know me…I’m a huge smart a**! And if my wrinkles are deeper set and hair too gray to keep up with dying it, it isn’t from starting homeschool 6 months ago, that’s just the ‘relaxed’ look I have chosen because I’m living the life of royalty each day!
Thanks for allowing me to paint my little slice of heaven, quite therapeutic!! 🙂
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! I kept thinking any reader who doesn’t know you, would be all like, “Look at this chic! She can totally rock the mom gig in her house!!” or they might be all like, “Look at this woman. How dare she rub it all in like she’s queen of the mom world!!”
SO funny sister! But truth be told…you described it exactly how I picture it every day over there!!! So now, I don’t even know you anymore. 😉
This is just a snow day for you? Sound like every day after school and daycare for us! I have stopped yelling about the constant wrestling / fighting / kung fu and just tell them not to involve me unless something is bleeding or broken.
Ah yes. You touched on a truth I live out each day. Now that they are in school all day for the first time in nine years, I don’t have them doing this cr– all day around me and TO me!!! (Yes- I take it all very personally!!) Now the ‘behavior’ they display is afternoons and evenings and oh yes…loaded weekends here baby!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
When I realized that it was still morning, my heart skipped a beat! SO glad to be a FL girl right about now. LOL
How do you do it? HOW????!!!! I applaud you SUPERmoms who home school. Seriously FREAKING amazing. I don’t think I would make it a week without wanting to hurt them. Well, actually I already often want to hurt them…but of course I don’t!! I just may not be trusted with those urges after a week of attempting home schooling! lol
That’s EXACTLY how it is here. My kids don’t just save that for snow days either. It’s winter break, spring break, summer break and even weekends. It’s all the time. So funny to see it in writing.
OH yes…from 3:30- 9:30 every single day and God help me on the weekends!!! I can only imagine your house with FOUR and they have such different ages too! You are my hero. 🙂
Hilarious. Some of the convos b/w you and your kids are identical to ones I’ve had in my home. Only difference is that Noah still likes to wake at 5:30 a.m. so many of our “creative differences” occur well before 8 am.
Okay- so seriously, if I had a kid wake at that time….they would definitely need to be completely independent of me so I can sleep! Actually Cade was an early riser when he was very very little. I would get out of bed and find him downstairs playing all by himself when he was a toddler! My friends and I would joke that he should whip up an egg burrito and wake me with breakfast! lol I trained him well. 😉
I refuse to do a snow day for these exact reasons! So funny and typical for our house too! If we have a snow day, I’ll just pretend I didn’t get the message and drop my kids off at school anyway. Is that wrong? Great post, Chris!
Oh that would be so so GREAT!!! I especially hate the snow days where it’s all ICE and they can’t go outside at ALL. You would think that one day all together trapped in the house would be glorious… I don’t know if it’s the last minute adaptation issue thing or what. Just never seems to work out well.
This post exhausted me just to read it!
Next time, go outside and have a snowball fight with them, and while they’re warming up inside after you beat them soundly, put on some hot wings and a Netflix movie and save the cleaning for tomorrow.
Well now that sounds all good and nice and lovely…but what if the outside world is all ICE Mr. Mister??!! THEN what? Just skip to the beating part? Hmm…if it gets me to the wings and Netflix- I’m gonna go for it!! 😉
hahahahahahaha… well I guess that is one (many!!) reason to be thankful that we don’t get snow down here in SC!!! 🙂
Oh yes it is!!! 😉 LOL (BTW- did you get my piece via email? Hoping!)
LOL!!!! Ok, my kiddos aren’t THAT bad, but they do have their moments! LOL Snow Days are DEFINITELY a mixed blessing! 🙂
Thanks for stopping by my blog and helping me celebrate my SITS Day! 🙂
Well you are one of the lucky ones Julie!!! LOL! It was MY PLEASURE to visit. You are a GEM!!! 🙂 Shared your great articles too. We need to fb each other to stay in contact!! (I couldn’t figure out how to like your page!)
Aww, thank you! 🙂 I’ll get you added on my list! 🙂
YAY!! Thanks my friend! 🙂
You’re welcome! 🙂 I’ll post a link to my blog page so you can find it, too.
AWESOME!!!! 🙂
Oh, I am laughing…. It wouldn’t be funny if it wasn’t all true! I have had my moments like that, believe me! And, like you said, all before 10:00 even.
I know RIGHT??!! I can’t imagine you having a day like that though… You are always so planned and productive with your kiddos!! 🙂 Good to know I am not alone!!
It’s been a long time, but I remember those days all too well. My kids are 14-22 now so there’s a lot more trying to keep track of people and trying to send them different directions so they don’t make each other crazy (and me in the process). Not so much snow days as all holidays and weekends. I love Mondays because it means everyone goes to school and/or work and I get some breathing time. And I’ve earned every breath of it.
This time will pass. Don’t listen to anyone — you won’t miss it when it’s gone. The snuggles maybe, but not the craziness!
Happy Sharefest. I hope you have a lovely weekend.
I love that… “you won’t miss it when it’s gone…” but of course I will miss the snuggles and perhaps the fact that I am still bigger than them, so I have a BIT more power!! Wait. This day really didn’t show that now, did it? 😉 Keeping you in my prayers Robin!!
Oh, Chris!! Thank you for sending me the link to this gem!! LOVE IT! And I can totally relate!
Now if you’ll excuse me, someone is calling me to wipe his bum…
😉
I am SO glad you took the time to read it Stephanie!! It’s just a day in the life… lol 😉