Perspective saves me.
I have written a lot about gratitude and the shift in how we look at things in our lives to find deeper meaning and purpose.
Something happens in your life and you respond. You can either take a glance and carry on or take the lens and twist it into focus. You can look behind and beyond the circumstance and discover all kinds of insight as you grow in wisdom from such introspection. Embrace the moment I say. Dwell in the depths of it.
I do that a lot.
I’m a thinker. And a feeler. And I respond.
But the perspective I’m working on right now is very different. Instead of focusing the lens closer, like a microscope studying the very specific situation and all the parts and pieces that belong to it…
I twist that lens larger to cover the landscape that carries the picture I am in. When I do that, I see more. I take in more. My focus expands to a much greater significant scene that takes me out of the magnified situation, and pulls me further away from it, shooting the bigger picture.
Perspective.
Often when I find myself in a crisis, or some difficult experience, I lunge hard and fast right on into it without pulling back first. It takes intention to stop the lens from tightening into that initial image and diving into the depths of what transpired and what will come from it. We can lose ourselves right there in the thick of the frame.
But if we can brace ourselves, and turn that lens back further and further to expand the entire landscape of our lives, we just might respond differently. We might view it differently too.
I have been in pain for about a month since the surgery I had on my foot and my ankle. My life came to a nice jolted halt without the use of my leg. It’s quite difficult getting around on one leg, ya know? I managed to fall pretty hard spilling over myself and onto a bench in the hallway just this morning. Ouch.
It’s also difficult to run a household and care for children and pretty much impossible to drive school routes and errands and any activities. I have dropped the ball on writing deadlines, and book reviews as well as taking the absentee role on various events and gatherings. “Rest and elevate” is the treatment while in my cast. I don’t do either well. I’ve had to give up pretty much everything; at least it feels that way.
It’s been a bit torturing.
I’ve had my meltdowns. I’ve sworn like a sailor and cried like a baby. I’ve pulled my big girl pants up and composed myself enough to ‘mother from the couch’ and engage when I can with others. I’ve prayed for many people and challenged myself to think deeper and find purpose and meaning behind and beyond this situation.
That’s all fine and good and my usual way to cope with an unfortunate circumstance. But I realize there is something even more powerful for me in helping change my perspective. I practice it quite often and realized I don’t think I have described it here before.
This expansion of my lens…
Let me explain.
I feel the pain.
You see the pain, don’t ya? My lens was magnified intensely on that focal point, that image when I swore and cried and whined.
But if I stretch the lens a bit further out, you would find my family surrounding me with helping hands and serving hearts when I am in need. You’d see the mess of a home without the ‘homemaker’, but you would see the dishes done and the laundry folded and the ‘most’ important things completed by my husband and friends that come by with meals and a helping hand. Stretch that lens further out…
You would watch me playing a game of ball in the summer sun, laughing and embracing time with family as I so carefully placed cones on the divots in the yard, promising to NOT twist my ankle. Running to first base, I went down. But stretch further and you will see a weekend of love and laughter and the beautiful new land my sister lives on, with which my children played half-naked in the creek and acres of woods. You would be warmed by the campfire and wooed by the s’mores. Ah, the memories…
Twist again to widen the scope.
You would discover 30 years of walking in pain, and the revelation that finally something has been done about it! You would realize this is the beginning of a new way to walk and the beginning of the path to freedom, thanks to some incredible doctors and their expertise. I am blessed to have the option of being ‘fixed’.
Open that lens more…
You would see a beautiful home, loving ‘get well’ cards in the mailbox and down the street around town- people calling, sending pictures, or stopping by to check in on me.
You would find a community full of organizations and resources and people that fill our lives and our hearts and our minds, in which we are blessed to belong.
Step back further…
And you will span the country and the world full of beloved friends and writers, whom I adore connecting with through the web. You would discover those who send special gifts, cards, and loving prayers for my healing.
Shift the lens beyond this day…
And you will see into February, without a cast and in a new boot going to PT to learn how to walk again.
Tweak the lens one more time …
To span March and April full of the new birth of a season of warmer days and me taking my long walks reflecting on the winter of stillness and pain, and feeling so grateful for my recovery.
When the lens gets bigger… the situation we find ourselves in gets smaller.
Friends, when you feel consumed by your circumstance, expand your lens.
Open your borders and stretch your frame. The surrounding scenery may enhance and change the picture you are in. This new broadened landscape may add an entirely new dimension to your focal point.
When difficult things happen, we naturally zoom in on the circumstance and sometimes we allow it to take over the bigger picture.
Don’t zoom in too long, or you may lose the power of the big picture perspective.
Stretch it out.
Pull further away, to survey the scope of it all.
Widen the lens of your landscape.
Enlarge the image.
Wider.
Wider.
Even wider.
Until you reach your best shot.
The new scenery will surely change your view.
Sweet Chris…I cried my way through your post.
I LOVE your perspective, “When the lens gets bigger… the situation gets smaller.” A wide angle lens makes all the difference, and pointing it in other directions changes the perspective further. I need to focus on the BIG picture. Thanks for the timely remainder!!
I’m praying for your healing, your family, and your ministry.
Lots of love,
Becky xo
Becky, seeing your beautiful response and encouragement truly made my day. I’m so grateful you read this post. Thank you for blessing me!! It’s just so easy to drown in the muck of the moment, and it really does take effort and intention to widen that lens. But oh, when we do- it changes the entire landscape of our lives, and surely our hearts. I am forcing myself to do this regularly!!
Oh, Chris what a great outlook for sure and must admit when I was sick last week with 2 kids home, as well as the dog, too, I was miserable, but as I started to feel better I realized as bad as I felt, my life truly is a blessing and widening that lens sure does help in times such as these. Thanks my friend always for the reminder here 🙂 xoxo!!
I just hope you are 100% now Janine!! There is NOTHING good about being sick with little kids AND a pup!!! Oh, AND around Christmas!! Bless your heart. 🙁
Attagirl. Really nice analogy. GOOD THOUGHTS 🙂
Aw!! Thanks SO much Faves!! What’s “Faves” you ask? I think that is going to be my new nickname for you. Cause your my favorite. My Faves. <3 (Been thinking about you and missing you! Catch up this weekend!)
*giggling* NOW I understand your reply on Pintrest. I LOVE THAT, Kitty! That’s so awesome 😀 <3 <3 <3
Wow…
And yes. I'll keep showing up. Somehow.
And YES let's catch up somehow, aaaaaaand ALSO
LESS THAN NINE MONTHS TO GO! 😀
YAY!!! I was hoping you would be okay with “Faves”!!! You ARE, ya know…
COUNTDOWN ON!!!!! WOOHOO!!!!!!!!!
I’m ALWAYS okay with lovely nicknames. I’ve so rarely had any, it’s a delight to have one 🙂 Especially such a gorgeous one. Thank you, Kitty 😀 – you made me do that suddenHUGEgrin thing 😀
COUNTDOWWWWWN!
I get this, on a very deep level. When a tough situation arises, I too tend to dive into the center of it; I go so deep I almost immediately lose sight of the bigger picture. But a wider lens is exactly what I need to be strong in the toughest of times. Here’s to health for all of us—and a better perspective along with it.
I love that you get this Katie! Oh, have I missed you! I’m SO glad you are feeling a bit better now and please know that you are on my heart and in prayers with your pregnancy, my friend. XO
Love this and thank you so much for sharing. It always helps to put things in perspective in general. xoxox
Oh thanks so much for coming by to read it Samantha!! I’m so grateful. <3
Chris,
your perspective, insight, & encouragement toward others is a “GIFT” from the Father.
Love to you from Duluth. LOVE. Love. Love! xxxxxx
And my beloved friend, those precious words you say about me are surely the ones for you. Do you know that every comment you share here makes me cry? Yep. Every one. (Here I go again… and I already read this before!!!)
Your reframing skills always amaze me. What a beautiful way to change perspective–widening the lens.
I have the flu. I’m so miserable, and I’m so annoyed that my family tracks their snowy boots throughout the house. But, my husband is bathing the children, he stayed home two mornings and even my mother in law helped out. My sister and mother check in on me everyday, and I’m taking this as an opportunity to eat an entire carton of ice cream by myself. Hey, now I’m prepared for my TToT
OH Sarah!!! Damn I love you girl!!! Can I join you in that ice cream carton? No wait… I’ll get my own and THEN join you! I pray that by now you are feeling human and may I please contribute to the annoyance of my family tracking through the house too? Arg! BUT- there are a lot of BUTS. So, yes- lets go there and stay there, shall we? I’ll come visit this weekend and see how you are doing… you definitely have your TToT ready now!!! 🙂
Thank you for your beautiful encouragement… I am so grateful. <3
Sometimes it’s a shame that through adversity we learn life’s biggest lessons. Well, Champ, you certainly have had enough adversity already, but look at you! You have leveraged yourself until you’ve come through the other side, and you’re not even done healing yet (which I pray you will soon!)
I love this post so many ways, but mostly because your unique and strong spirit shines through every word. I am proud to know you and more proud to call you my new friend. Shine on, dear Chris. You are a bright and shiny gem.
Well bless my soul, YOU certainly do friend!! What beautiful words and incredible encouragement you filled my heart with Cathy! Gosh, you are such a love and a light… Thank you. I feel the very same about you! <3
You are absolutely right about the perspective. It is a trick it took me years to learn, and I still have not mastered it. I tend to catastrophize little things.
Fabulous ending, too. It really drives the point home.
Gene’O! Thank you so much for coming by to read this! Yeah, I’m certainly no master at it either- but with serious effort and intention I forge through the day with this reminder… and big picture vision is the best way to cope through those times when you want to catastrophize things!!! Beentheredonethat. 😉
So beautiful in every way. I often forget to twist, shift and expand my lens – literally and figuratively, of course. I miss things sometimes.
I’m glad you can see all of the beauty, cause and effect and wider vision of the pain.
Truly a beautiful gift.
It really takes serious effort and intention! I have to ‘force’ myself at times… like right now. Ugh. Every day is another day to drag myself up and manage it all over again… so every day I widen that lens and find something else I would have missed had I not done that. 🙂 *Trying*
I love that you are able to look past the current view and see the big picture even while you are living with so much pain. I hope that each day the pain is less and less!!!
I’ve been praying for you every night (I spend lots of time awake:) – I hope you feel a bit of relief!!!
Do you even know how much that means to me?!? Oh Kim, I am literally crying right now just thinking about you taking the (restless I’m sure!) time to even think of me and pray for me… You are just such a loving precious friend. I’m SO grateful for your prayers!!! Maybe when you start praying is when I can finally start sleeping!! Nights are hard yo. 😉 But somewhere between 2-3am, I finally fall asleep despite the discomfort and pain. Thank you sweetie. SO much.
YES!!!! And Yes again! I love this! I often get so frustrated with people who are so zoomed in they can only see that tiny lit bit of perspective. I love this, I love you!
I’ve been thinking about you and praying for you. I know it has to be miserable.
Also, I received the books and thank you SO much! You are too thoughtful.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
AW! I’m so glad you get this, my friend. And I’m really glad you got the books!!! YAY! Love you too!! <3
Wow – you are mazing. The analogy is wonderful and the fact that you can some up with it, while going through what you are – that shows us the beauty of you! Oh, if we could all take in the bigger picture, the world would indeed be a better place.
My heart hurts for your foot, though.
Thanks Allie, I appreciate your sympathy!! It is screaming at me right now, and yet I have to keep reminding myself to widen the lens… come spring I’ll be ready to roll!! 🙂
Oh wow! Did I ever love this. What a powerful post. So often we get caught up in the small… this hinders me in my walk with God too. I forget that He has the big picture, He knows all. I need to trust in that all the time.
So beautiful Chris. I’m glad you have your family surrounding you and helping you.
Praying for you my friend.
xoxo
I often remind myself of that and encourage my friends and the kids I work with about God’s picture is so different than our own… his vision is bigger than ours and we must trust that plan! I am blessed… even when I am literally broken. I must remember that always. Thanks friend!
So beautiful and wise, Chris. I often am guilty of focusing the lens too tightly, and missing the bigger picture. I need this reminder – thank you.
Thanks Dana! Gosh, it’s just how we operate, isn’t it? It really takes a lot of control and intention to really pull back that lens and see the bigger picture. I am forcing myself to do it constantly!
Love this! Love that you are on your way to walking pain free. Happy New Year!
Thank you so much Andrea! I am still praying for your precious niece and the tragic loss of her baby. Oh, how my heart aches for that family… and for you all with such a terrible loss. Just awful. *Sigh*
ouch my friend!! I think my first response would be to make a sailor blush too!!! I do hope recovery goes smoothly, quickly and you’re back to good soon!
Most people are picking just One Word for the year, but I think I like your phrase: Expand the Lens. It just suits me so well; in all areas of my life. Wife, mother, friend, writer, photographer, Sunday School teacher (um, sorry about that curse thing.)
yep, I’m stealing it. It’s the best compliment I can give 🙂
OH Leslie!! That is just such a cool ‘phrase’ for YOU!! And what a great compliment it is, my friend!! (Um… I have to apologize regularly for the same reason!!! lol) Hey, it’s all good. 🙂
Oh wow…that looks so painful.
Thank you for sharing this. Here’s to less painful days ahead.
Thanks Michelle! I’ll drink to THAT! 😉
I love your perspective Chris and think it’s very um, understandable that you’d be swearing and crying and focused on the pain because it’s like you have a Frankenstein foot right now!
BUT from the pain will come freedom and the way that you describe your community and your family and the perspective when pulling back the lens – beautiful. <3
Speedy recovery, sweets.
Thanks babe… I have to keep pulling that lens back, often!! But it helps. A lot. 🙂
Love this so so much!
Thank you so much Charity!! I’m so grateful you stopped by. <3
This is just the most beautiful reminder that all is not always as it seems. I absolutely love your ability to shift perspective and see not only what is immediately before us, what is currently plaguing us, but the whole story – the things that came before, the things that surround. All of it. Because life is never about what is right before us, is it? I’ve learned a lot of that this last year. Life is always about all the things, to use that phrase, but it is often difficult to see them all at once. And so we don’t.
Your foot looks positively gross, can’t lie. But I’m glad it will bring an end to your suffering. I continue to pray for your healing and peace of mind. Sitting on your butt waiting to heal is no picnic!
XOXOXOXO
Oh Lisa… I love you. I just love you. That is all. <3
Very nice reminder of how to look at all aspects of your situation. It would be so easy to focus on the pain, but it’s the talking like a sailor and the support of those who surround you that matters.
HA!! “talking like a sailor” is definitely up there with the support Kerri! Love that, girl! Love YOU! 🙂
Yes! The big picture is sometimes so much more relevant than the smaller one. Great post!
That big picture way of thinking has saved me more than once! BUT sometimes it takes everything I’ve got to widen that lens…
Beautiful perspective Chris! Sometimes we get caught up in one specific problem that we overlook the changes happening around us in our favor.
Thanks Jhanis! It is so easy to focus in on that *one* thing causing us great pain, but when we widen that lens- there are so many other elements in our life to hold on to, and that changes everything.
Thanks so much Christine
each time I join in on the conversation or read more on the blogs on themomcafe.com the more I feel blessed, hopeful with some despair, Im still NWB from ankle surgery, and uplfted by all these wonderful women sharing their struggles and hopes.
Thank you
Blessings always.
Jorjann
OH Jorjann, bless you! I’m SO glad you found my blog and are encouraged by the posts.
Can I send you my book? I would love to. <3 Email me your address at Chis@TheMomCafe.com
I’ll get it off to you asap.
As I lay here in bed wondering if I should panick, I decided to look on Pinterest at things I need to do to prep for ankle surgery. I thought, why not, I would think other moms have some ideas or lists for me! And then I was blessed, by so much more. I REALLY REALLY needed to hear this today. I couldn’t decide if I should cry tonight, drink wine, or take a Xanax and go to bed. But I looked, I reached out in Pinterest and found you! I am so tired but tomorrow I’ll be buying your book! I cannot wait to start reading it!! Thank you for your honesty and complete and utterly naked with us. Being vulnerable is a scary thing for us women/moms/partners. It makes us feel weak and insignificant. Those things don’t define us. Thank you for reminding me of that!
Oh, Jenny! I’m SO happy you found my blog and it encouraged you!! I’m also SO glad you will be reading my book and I hope and pray it helps give you the comforting assurance and guidance you need to get through your surgery and your recovery. Bless your weary and I’m sure, your very worn heart. You poor thing. I know how hard this can be. I know how painful it can be too. Stay strong, my new friend. Be patient and good to yourself, okay? You can DO THIS. Remember, it is TEMPORARY.
Hugs,
Chris
Fifteen years ago I was in a car accident breaking my right talus bone and severely causing a lot of soft tissue damage. Had 2 surgeries. Happened in October and was down until late spring. My daughter was 4 years old. Got depressed and gained alot of weight. Dealt with pain in that ankle for years. Fast forward, due to over reliance on my left foot, overweight, and extra physical demands at work during Covid, I developed acute midfoot arthritis. Was in tears. Couldn’t sleep. Went to podiatrist because of tendonitis in my achilles due to walking crazy. Knee started screwing up. Got fitted for orthotics – no relief. The only thing that helped was samples of a topical reliever I got from doctor, but costs like $2000 a bottle so no one can buy it. Decided to lose weight. Lost 50 pounds in 8 months. Finally, relief! But did not last! Suddenly one day had excruciating pain due to an impingement because of calf problems due to walking funny snd not bending my foot when I walk. Went to orthopedic urgent care. “Oh its just old Arthur again. “ I was so angry! Was referred to a PT. He helped me stretch my calves, got rid of alot of the inflammation, but talked me into seeing a surgeon to have midfoot fusion surgery. He convinced me to bite the bullet. He told me old Arthur will rear his ugly head again. I need to do it before I develop health problems like osteoporosis and become weaker as I age. So here I am, going through the hell of being down again, but this time I chose to do it. I have cried all day and screamed at now 19 year old today because I spilled coffee everywhere. I dont want to get out of bed. I found this blog and you have already made me feel like maybe I might not lose my mind before this is all over. Please God, let Spring come soon! Thank you for your insight and I hope to read your book.
Oh, Kathy, thank you so much for sharing your story. My gosh, you have been through SO MUCH. It just breaks my heart that you have had to endure such painful physical AND mental/emotional circumstances. You POOR THING.
I’m so glad you found my blog and it gave you a bit of hope while you have been struggling in that pit that I know all too well. I will be praying this surgery relieves your pain and banishes Arthur for GOOD. Please look into getting my book! And if you aren’t able to purchase it, email me your address at Chris@themomcafe.com and I will send a copy to you for free.
Hold on, my new friend. You are SO strong and SO brave and SO special. Be patient and gracious with yourself (and your 19-year-old!) as much as you can. Deep breaths, long prayers, and gentle hugs all help.
XOXO,
Christine