It started with the packets that came in the mail. Those thick large envelops that I seem to always dread opening. Included in the layers of paperwork was all the information on those “Back to School Days” schedules, important dates, forms, fees and needed supplies.
Ugh.
I put them aside, thinking I had all sorts of time on my hands to get to that business.
Wait. Where did summer go?
Clearly, I haven’t mastered the madness of school preparation yet, despite my experience of a decade of summer endings and fall beginnings. I seem to always find it appallingly shocking, when I finally realize that summer is ending fast and school begins in a few short breaths of insanity.
Yes, insanity.
I somehow find myself spiraling into this frenzied state of craze, as all the things I need to do in order to prepare my kids for school recklessly flood into my sweet summer solace.
Why it is, that I don’t begin this preparation sooner- I don’t know. Perhaps it’s because summer seems to get cut off shorter every year. Maybe it’s because I have a sheer joy that comes with this season- it’s flexible schedules, careless fun, and lack of responsibilities. It’s quite possible, I just don’t feel like letting go of another season and forging on to a new.
Transitions are hard work with kids. There’s of course the whole school thing: Buying the supplies, outfitting our kids with new clothes, planning lunches and snacks, finding out classes and schedules, meeting teachers and starting homework and sports and all the other activities our kids participate in. There are sign-ups for everything our kids want to do, and of course buying what they need for them all. There’s the cleaning and sorting of old summer stuff, and cleaning and sorting of new fall stuff. There’s the packing of backpacks and clearing of desks and space for schoolwork to come.
It’s a lot of work.
And it always seems to get me frazzled in the frenzy.
But what really seems to stir my nerves, is the undercurrent of emotion triggered by all the anticipation and angst in letting my kids go.
Go off to a new year.
Go off to a new grade.
Go off to a new class.
Go off to new experiences, new sports, new friends, and new activities… new new new…
Letting my kids go off into the unknown.
It scares me.
At the beginning of every school year, I somehow get slammed with that startling awareness that my kids are moving forward in their lives and growing older on their timeline.
There is this profound combination of sadness and excitement that comes with this awakening.
It’s fresh every year, like it’s the first time I have had to face it all. You’d think I would get used to this, but I don’t. It’s these last remaining days of summer, where I find myself immersed in those big breath moments, full of deep sighs and gasping gulps. I don’t want to face it, but I know this is how it goes and there’s no stopping it. No matter how hard I try to hold on to time, it slips out of my grip.
Another year begins…
Too soon.
Got a few weeks here still, but summed up my feelings about the new, impeding school year for my girls now, too Chris.
I hope you are totally enjoying your trip right NOW, Janine!!! Embrace those last few weeks in the Magic Kingdom and trust that your girls will do GREAT in school. You probably know that… it’s us moms who struggle!
I am in the same boat, what the heck happened to my summer. I just wrote about this exact same thing! Mine of course a little more crass as I am kinda like that 😉 . I am sharing, because it is nice to know I am not the only one!
Loved your post Darla!! And yes, its a comfort to know I’m not the only one who feels this way! Thanks for sharing, my friend!! XOXO
Personally I’m not into it! I do sort of crave fall by the end of summer, but only from an autumn/relief from heat standpoint. In fact, now that I have kids, I love/hate it so much. We still have four weeks here so I’m not sure what I’m complaining about.. but it does seem shorter every year.
I’m glad you have more time- I know your schools let out much later than ours, Tamara. I am going to live vicariously through YOU, okay? 🙂
Ugh, yes, I know what you mean! We have only two full weeks left! I still haven’t shopped for school supplies! And my baby is going into 5th grade! Is it time to panic yet? 😉
Neh- You have one more week, and then you can panic Ginny!! LOL Hang in there mama!! It will go FAST! I’ll see you on the other side. 🙂
You nailed it! I can relate to this post in every which way. I just posted about this topic, too, but your focus on that angst some of us have of sending our kids off to the unknown is so spot on, and really the hardest part for me this time of year. But every time I do feel that ripple of anxiety float through me, I remember that it’s not our job to prepare the world for our children but to prepare our children for the world. To me, that means stepping back from worrying about whether or not they’ll have friends in their classrooms and lunch periods and focusing more on trusting that our kids can and will figure it out as long as they know we’re behind them all the way. Last year was so hard because one of my daughters did not have any close friends on her middle school team and my other daughter got assigned to what she thought of as “the meanest teacher of all”. And they survived it! So this year, my mantra is, “whatever teachers, classes or teams you get this fall, it will all work out okay and you’ve got what it takes to make the best of it.”
Exactly Julie!! I kept reminding myself of a similar mantra!! Every year, my kids make it- they rise above some challenges an toughen through some hardships, and thrive in some other areas. I must have confidence in them- and allow the worry to transition into trust. Trust that they will be safe and make good choices!
Yes! I swear this summer has gone by SO FAST!!!!!!! WE have two more weeks and I’m am not ready at all.
It really seems like this summer was much faster than all the other ones. Not sure why- perhaps the rain? I don’t know… I’m not ready either!! Enjoy your last few weeks, Lisa!
Even though this is my second summer as a mom, I’ve never really thought about what the end of summer means as a parent other than back-to-school preparations. There are a lot of emotions that go with it. Watching your children grow older and become more independent through the years, and both the excitement and sadness of that.
It really is difficult when they go off to school!! There really are a lot of emotions that go with it, Bev. Sigh… But there are emotions in motherhood PERIOD. School or not. You know. 🙂
Hi Chris! I do remember those years. I was in Target last week, and the school supply section was rocking! The excitement of new pencils, folders and glue… Of course I’m looking back fondly, forgetting the crises of ‘what teacher did I get?’, and knowing that we’ll all have to learn to get up early EVERY STINKIN’ DAY of the week.
I pray for your easy transition, both physically and mentally to get your little ones ready (no matter how old they are, they’re still little!). You can do it Supermom!!
Blessings,
Ceil
Oh Ceil, thanks for much for your prayers my friend!! SO glad to see you back!! I hope you had a wonderful vacation! 🙂
Oh yes I hear you on all this. I always seem to be caught by surprise with all the back-to-school madness and I always attributed it to not wanting to let go of summer, but now you’ve made me realize that it’s also the letting go of our kids each year into new situations — it scares me too! And now this year, I’ve got one LEAVING THE NEST and going to boarding school for 2 years before he goes to college. I am in such denial about this, it’s ridiculous. I have not bought one thing for his new dorm room yet – yikes! Anyway, good luck mama with all the prep – I’ll be thinking of you and right there angst-ridden with you. 🙂
OH my gosh, I would be in denial too Emily!! Hang in there mama… one step at a time! Praying things go smoothly in your HUGE transition with your son!! XO
Great post, Christine! This is my first year when I’m not sending a kid off to school. Everybody is done now!
WOOHOO!!! Enjoy and embrace this new freedom, my friend! 🙂
Where did summer go indeed?!?! So much of this resonated with me. Thank you.
Thanks for coming by to read it, Christine! Good luck with your transition too, mama.
I feel like summers go faster and faster every year. When I was a kid they used to go by so slowly. I’m getting old.
I hear ya, Christina… Every season seems to fly by. I’m getting old too. 🙁
Oh yes! I too adore flexible schedules, carefree fun, and lessened responsibilities! I also LOVE all things summer, SO much that I pretty much stick my fingers in my ears and lalalala past anyone talking about summer ending in early August just because school is starting – instead I insist on going by the calendar which tells me summer is over in October! I even make my oldest refer to it as “summer break” rather than “summer” because my entire summer should not be defined by a school calendar #momconfessions – Haha makes me feel better!
I LOVE THAT Sybil!! I am with you! We were just at the pool until it closed tonight… summer is NOT over, despite the school schedule and all that entails!
oh yes… I get you!! ha
I feel very much like Scarlet O’Hara right now… “oh, I will think about that tomorrow.” LOL
and then I will be the mom scurrying around to do it all… the day before school starts.
and you know what? I bet it all still works out just fine. 🙂
It worked out JUST fine for me!! 🙂 I’m still in summer mode… as long as the sun shines and the warm air blows… I’m sayin’ it’s SUMMER.
And so it does…I’m struggling, too. This expresses it perfectly: “At the beginning of every school year, I somehow get slammed with that startling awareness that my kids are moving forward in their lives and growing older on their timeline.
There is this profound combination of sadness and excitement that comes with this awakening.” I wish I had your way with words.
OH Allie! Your comment means so much to me! Thank you so much, my friend. And hang in there… somehow after the school year starts, it gets easier. 🙂
It’s always too soon Chris. We think we have the time but summer is busy too and time flies as always.
You’ll make it I am sure.
Sit down and relax a bit before the rush…
Yes… it was a hectic start, but things are settling quite nicely now. It’s that transition that is so difficult for me and for the kids! Glad it’s over. 🙂
I may be the only one here, but so glad summer is over. Haha! Looking forward to schedules and bedtimes again!!
You are definitely NOT the only one Kimberly! I have mixed emotions, really. I LOVE summer- but the crazy chaos gets to me by now, so I welcome the schedules!!