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Dear College Student Struggling with Anxiety

September 10, 2018 By momcafe 12 Comments

Dear College Student Struggling with Anxiety #College #student #anxiety #helpforanxiety

 

 

Dear college student struggling with anxiety,

You’re off to school away from home for the first time and I know this is so hard. You’re far from your comfort zone, your safe place, in a world that is all so very new. It’s terrifying and I know you want to leave and come back to your familiar life with trusted friends and the security of your family. I know you miss your bedroom and all the familiar hiding places that give you protection. I know this is all too much, too fast.

I know.

You thought you could handle it, you hoped you could pull through, you tried so hard to believe it was going to be a good thing. But instead you feel exposed, threatened and rocked to your core, and it’s so very hard. All of it.

First, let me tell you something.

You are so brave.

And you are stronger than you believe.

Despite the panic attacks that seem to shatter your strength and scream to go home, you can do this.

One day at a time. One hour at a time. And sometimes?

One minute at a time.

Deep breaths.

You have taken a huge step out into the frightening world with new people and uncharted territory to navigate. But even with anxiety, you can do hard things. You have proven this before. Each time you have faced your fears and managed to push through them to the other side, you realized you were brave and strong and able to withstand the anxiety that tried to pull you under.

You can feel that same victory every day you make it through at college. Every day that you are brave.

You can feel victory every day you make it through at college.

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When you are experiencing anxiety, wanting to give up and come home, remember these things:

Your overwhelming anxiety is valid but don’t let it be victorious
. The emotional roller-coaster you are experiencing is natural and normal in many ways because having anxiety triggers them. This in no way means you are failing at doing this college thing. It simply means you are in a very emotional season and that’s to be expected. Don’t let your feelings make you believe you are failing. You are not. You are simply feeling all the feels right now and that is scary.

Each time you feel the overwhelming surge of anxiety hit you, remember that it will pass. You will survive. It will end. Close your eyes and take slow deep breaths. Then focus on the things that bring you joy, comfort, and peace. Bring them to the forefront of your mind. Stay there. Those are your buoys. They will keep you from drowning when the waves hit. Hold on to them tight and remind yourself that this is temporary, it will pass.

When you can, leave an anxious situation and go do something that is familiar and comforting to you. Dive into that book, listen to your music, go for a run, write in your diary, call your mom, text your best friend. Do all the things that quiet your nerves and make you feel the familiar security you once had. Do them often because they will help calm you down. They will stabilize you and anchor you onto a more steady ground when your footing feels shaky.

Pace yourself as you go. Only do what you must at first. Make it to your classes, eat your meals, then find your safe place in between and keep doing those comforting things to settle you down. Take one step at a time, then pause, rest, refuel. You can add more to your day when you feel more confident and secure, but for now, it’s okay to go slow. Don’t feel pressured into doing #allthethings that college students can do. And do NOT beat yourself up over going slow and saying no to those things. You have lots more time to get involved. For now, slow and steady wins the race.

It’s uncomfortable to start new friendships, but you must. I know you miss all your high school friends, but new friendships are good for you too. You will meet many more people who have the potential to also be best friends, even life-long friends. You just need to take those courageous steps to get to know people. A true friend makes the world feel a whole lot safer, so look around and see who might turn out to be that trusted friend. Reach out, say hi, and see what happens. You’ll know when it’s a good friendship fit. And when you find a connection, that will change everything.

Believe in yourself. I know you feel so vulnerable, so fragile like you could break at any moment. But you are proving to yourself that you can do new things, you can survive your fears, and you will become stronger each time you do. Don’t give up on yourself. Stop those negative voices whispering in your mind telling you, you can’t do this. Don’t let them win this battle. Instead, tell yourself over and over again that you are brave. You are brave.

These first weeks (and even months) will be the hardest to endure. It’s all so new and terrifying and you ache to go home.

But if you can persevere through this really tough season, if you can ride through the emotional waves that want to pull you under, I promise it will get easier. Someday, you will experience the joy that results in taking these bold first steps in going to new places, doing new things and meeting new people!

Minute by minute, you will steady your steps and open your world.

Little by little, the fear will lessen.

Day by day, you will prove to yourself that you are stronger than you believe.

Week by week, you will discover that in this scary new terrain, there are things that bring you joy.

And you will be empowered, emboldened, enriched.

Big changes for anyone with anxiety are terrifying, I know.

And this is the biggest change in your life, but it’s also the greatest opportunity too.

Don’t let your anxiety steal that from you.

Battle hard against that brutal beast and WIN.

You deserve this. You are worth it.

Don’t ever forget you are brave.

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Filed Under: Encouragement in Motherhood, Encouragement in Words Tagged With: Anxiety, college, encouragement for teens, first year of college, kids, mental health, parenting, Stress, Teens

Comments

  1. lisa thomson says

    September 10, 2018 at 12:17 pm

    Chris this is such a wonderful post and could apply to various situations of change in one’s life. Going to college is a big step and your words will comfort many young people going through this now (and their parents!). xxoo

    Reply
    • momcafe says

      October 14, 2018 at 7:50 am

      You’re so right about that, Lisa. It really could apply to so many big changes and people who suffer from anxiety. I am close with a dear teen who has had a hard transition into college and I wrote this both for her and knowing she is not the only one who does. I hope those who need to read this, find it and it helps.

      Reply
  2. Janine Huldie says

    September 10, 2018 at 1:12 pm

    Aw, what a beautiful note and reminder to all new college students. Thanks for sharing this here and pinning to keep for when the time comes in the future for my own girls, because you said this quite perfectly, my friend <3

    Reply
    • momcafe says

      October 14, 2018 at 7:53 am

      Thanks so much, Janine. I know quite a few older teens and one, in particular, is really struggling with this transition, so it was inspired by her. Anxiety can be so hard and being away from the security of home can trigger so much more.

      Reply
  3. Allison says

    September 10, 2018 at 10:23 pm

    Such good advice. I need to save this for Hunter – he heads off next year (if he gets in anywhere:)!

    Reply
    • momcafe says

      October 14, 2018 at 7:56 am

      Anxiety is just so hard to manage, and being away from home and doing all the new things can be extremely difficult for some. I hope this helps Hunter if he struggles WHEN he goes to college because he surely WILL get in somewhere! (But I get it. It’s ridiculously competitive now! Sigh)

      Reply
  4. Julie Jo Severson says

    September 12, 2018 at 3:04 pm

    Thank you for this! I’m definitely saving this for my daughter when she launches next fall. I am so anxious about it, sometimes I can’t sleep. She doesn’t seem to be–YET. But I do know it will be a bigger transition for her than she anticipates. Things don’t tend to come easy for her. But I’m also excited for her to be in a new setting that allows her to experience new kinds of friendships and dimensions within her. For me, college was liberating. I was so glad to be free of high school, which felt like a big chain to me. I found myself and my strengths on campus, away from my family. Christine, your encouraging posts are so needed in this world!

    Reply
    • momcafe says

      October 14, 2018 at 7:58 am

      I love that college was so liberating for you, Julie! I hope your girl experiences the same when she launches into the world next year. (WOW) I can only imagine all you are feeling about this big transition, friend. SO exciting and scary and everything in between.

      Reply
  5. Tamara says

    September 14, 2018 at 2:08 pm

    I remember having it bad the first few weeks. And then it got better and everyone else got hit with it. It’s funny now that I thought it was so bad but my post-college anxiety has been so much worse.
    I wish I had had your letter then, still!

    Reply
    • momcafe says

      October 14, 2018 at 8:00 am

      College is a big transition and girl, I get exactly what you mean! It’s just so strange how as adults our anxiety increases… but then again, we know much more which can cause a great deal of worry, understand everything so deeply which can cause so much angst, and experience incredible pressure in all our adult roles, ya know?

      Reply
  6. Dana says

    September 24, 2018 at 3:30 pm

    So many college freshmen think they are the only ones having a tough time – and they almost all are. This is a compassionate reminder to be patient and kind with yourself. Well said, Chris!

    Reply
    • momcafe says

      October 14, 2018 at 8:01 am

      Thanks so much for coming by and reading this Dana! If you know any who need this, send it their way. I know quite a few and I hope it helps.

      Reply

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