One year ago today, I released my book, “Help and Hope While You’re Healing: A woman’s guide toward wellness while recovering from injury, surgery, or illness”.
I didn’t dream it to be a wild ride of success- landing on The New York Time’s Best Seller list. I rather dreamed it to be a source of comfort for the broken ones in their time of need.
And once in a while, I get sweet reminders that my book is doing just that, and it makes my heart SWELL.
“I am currently on the road to recovery from an injury and just finished reading your book. I have to thank you with all my heart for helping me see the beauty in the struggle. I plan to keep rereading this book until I am fully healed. So grateful for what you have shared through this book and you have my word that I will be sharing it with all of my loved ones who are ever faced with an injury or illness. Thank you, Christine ✨”
Our bodies break down, fall ill, get injured… It happens to the best of us, the strongest of us, the healthiest of us.
Any time we are down for the count and facing a healing process- it’s rough.
Over the last year, I have been busy behind the scenes of this blog, trying to help people who are facing the difficult season of healing. I like to call what I’m doing: My Secret Mission.
I decided long ago, that I would send my book to anyone who needed it. As people continue to reach out to me, sharing their stories and thanking me for my encouraging posts about healing and recovery, I offer to send them my book. I buy 20 books at a time (yes, self-published authors buy their own books), and I send them to anyone who is in this hard healing place and needs a hand to hold through it all. I spend a good amount of my time communicating with people all over the world who are hurting and going through the grueling challenge of healing.
With all the experiences I have read from so many readers, I noticed there are similar complaints, emotions, and uncertainties most women face. Whether they are healing from any injury, surgery, or illness- the issues are the same. I’d like to address them here, in honor of all those weary warriors who are facing the fight of an agonizing and often frustrating healing process.
FIVE THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW WHEN YOU ARE RECOVERING FROM ANY INJURY, SURGERY, OR ILLNESS.
- You are not alone.
Every single woman who has reached out to me tells me how grateful she feels to know she is not alone. Recovering from a painful physical limitation of any kind can be isolating and lonely. The experience of healing can be so overwhelming and you can often feel utterly alone in not only how you are recovering, but how you are handling the recovery. This is key. You may feel like you are failing in this healing process like you are completely unable to do this right, do it well, do it – at all. But here is the God’s honest truth: EVERY SINGLE WOMAN FEELS THAT WAY. We all struggle with being stuck and unable to function like we used to. We all have meltdowns, throw fits, sob, and even want to give up at times. But you know what else we all have in common? We dig deep down to discover the newfound strength to persevere, new courage to endure. Yeah, that’s what women do.
“I was so grateful to read your tips. I was grateful to know that there are so many who feel like I do. So many out there who feel lost in this inability to function normally. “
- It’s time to get bold and reach out.
When was the last time you asked for help? This is an unsettling, uncomfortable, and unconventional thing to consider, isn’t it? I know. You’d rather muster through things on your own because my gosh- people have so much else to worry about! You don’t want to burden anyone else with your needs, do you? I know. I get it. But this is where you must put your big girl pants on and find the courage and confidence to ask for help. Women are caretakers and doers of all things, but guess what? It’s your time to be on the receiving end. Please allow others to take care of YOU. People WANT to help you, but they might not know-how. They need you to ask and tell them what you need. Let them feel good about helping someone they love. You know that feeling, right?
“Reading your post (aloud) I just cried! I’m not some cross-fit, superwoman but I’m not weak or lazy. I struggle so badly with letting people help me or wait on me… even when it’s appropriate. This has been like psychological torture to accept or ask for help. Thank you SO much for saying everything you said and amusingly and beautifully as you did. I needed it more than I realized.
I think I can handle this after all.”
- You are not going insane, you just feel like it.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had a reader reach out to me to thank me for assuring her that she is not going insane. When you are stripped down to nothing, marred in pain, and unable to function in your active daily life- it can feel like you are drowning in your own madness, sucked into the quicksand of overwhelm and you just might come to the conclusion that you are losing IT. But I promise- you aren’t. You just feel like you are. Unravel as you need. But know that in your unraveling, you are undeniably experiencing the emotional roller-coaster of recovery and healing- and that is absolutely sane.
“I’ve read both your articles and have been truly touched, blessed and felt at peace that I’m not totally losing my mind! “
- Healing is not in your control, no matter how hard you try to control it.
Your body is this miraculous extraordinary system that seems to work on its own agenda, its own timeline, and with its own set of rules and regulations. Lucky you. As much as you can rest and care for your injury, your wounds, your illness, it just might have a plan of its own. This can be infuriating. You may feel like you want to give up at times- and you might even hate your body when it won’t do what you want it to do. You need to listen to it and honor the healing process with patience. Let it recover, regulate, restore, replenish, and repair on its own timeline. Honor that process, okay? It knows what it’s doing. You’re not the boss of it. Sorry, but it’s true.
“No words to express how difficult it is for this woman, but you get it. I’m on countdown for the cast to come off and x-rays to reveal the healing (10 days). For me it’s the boot next (non-weight bearing and at some point weight-bearing). L-o-n-g…
Thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing these truths. Your perspective has allowed me to refocus and remain patient through this long healing process.”
- GOOD things come during BAD TIMES.
Have you found anything you can claim as good yet? If not, I promise you will. This season will be rough, but I promise you will find something incredible in the midst of it. It might be a new friend, a new revelation, or a new hobby. It might be a new strength or perspective you never had before. Perhaps you have grown deeper in your faith, been inspired to serve in a new way, or even learned something you would never have learned had you not been in this recovery season. Are there people who are showing up for you in the most sacrificial ways? Look for the good things through your blurry vision. I promise they are there.
Thank you for your blog and your posts… This journey is so more mental than anything else, it is not on my timetable and that is the hardest lesson to learn. When you lose the ability to drive and walk in the blink of an eye, it changes you. Life is precious and should never be taken for granted. Love hard and live for the moment because the past is over and you can’t predict the future.”
Hold on, all you broken warriors. You CAN do this. Healing WILL come. The most important thing you can do for yourself is to love yourself through it.
I’m here if you need. And if you want my book, I’d be glad to send it to you!
Gentle hugs to all…
For more encouraging posts about healing, check out the ones below.
20 Truths about Life After Foot Ankle Surgery
Managing The Pain: Stay off the Bridge.
Meet Me At The Cafe- That’s What Friends Do
Five Things You Need To Know When You Are Recovering From An Injury, Surgery, or Illness.
How To Help Someone Who Is Hurting And Healing
Friends Are God’s Way Of Taking Care Of Us- REACH OUT!
Important Advice For Moms Facing Surgery
To Those Who Are Hurting: A Message About Self Love
Stacy Voss says
You’re amazing. 🙂
No, YOU are. 🙂 XOXO
Donna Fizz says
Im 65 have a mother with alzheimers in an assisted living, I take care of an elderly friend. Last week I broke a bone near the Achilles Tendon & am in a cast. I had to have my bed & things brought downstairs. Im alone in the house & feel so helpless. I have to have someone take me visit my mom or Uber my friend over. I have to stay off my feet for 10 weeks!!! I cant even imagine how i’m going to get through this. I count every hour & try to go to bed early do another day will pass. I dont know how people live through this. Im going to get a scooter-i imagne it will be good for me to get me up & mobile. Is it possible to get a copy of your book? I read where you said ITS TEMPORARY. Im only entering the second week. 🙁 i’m getting panicky.
Oh dear Donna, bless your HEART. I can tell you are a caretaker, aren’t you? And my question is, “Who will take care of YOU?” Do you have any family or friends who will come by to help you in your time of need? Oh, I pray so! It’s so hard to be alone and hurting and healing- limited on what you can do! I know 10 weeks sounds like a LIFETIME right now, but it IS temporary… And you WILL get through this. I can tell you are a strong soul and you will survive this difficult season.
I would LOVE to send you my book. Email me your address at Chris@TheMomCafe.com and I’ll ship it off to you asap.
Please reach out to those who would be willing and able to help, okay? And my book will be in your hands to offer you the guidance and encouragement you need during this time.
Hang in there, my new friend. YOU CAN DO THIS.
Donna Fizz says
I went to doc yesterday and apparently the pins in my heel are not tight because the tendon is pushing on them. So now I have to go back into surgery on tuesday and they will adjust them…its like starting all over and its only been 2 weeks.
The put me in this cast until then. Looking forward to your book more than ever. LOL
Oh NO!!! Good grief, because it isn’t hard enough, right? You poor thing, Donna! I am so sorry sweet friend! My book is on the way!!!! You GOT. THIS. XO
I found your blog and helpful hints through Pinterest earlier this year–and recently had to pull out these resources again. My original ankle injury was in January, followed by surgery, months of recovery, PT…and three weeks ago a second surgery to revise all the original work and fix non-healing bones. I’m back in the cast, on the couch and starting the process all over. This time, I feel more confident but still impatient to return to normal. While there are good days and bad, I’ve found a lot of support through others who have gone through a serious health event and landed safely on the other side! I can claim some ‘good’ in this, for sure! I feel confident that God has taught me much through this about empathy, strength, vulnerability and the miraculous structures of the human body! Thank you for your writing and encouragement.
OH Joanne, thank YOU for sharing your story and your beautiful perspective on it all. Let me send you my book! 🙂 Email me your address, and I will get it off to you asap. Praying for your healing, my new friend. Email: Chris@TheMomCafe.com
Janine Huldie says
Aw, love that you and your book has been a wonder source of feeling for so many. Honestly I am not surprised as you and your book are truly enlightening and uplifting, too! Hugs and thank you for just being you, Chris <3
Oh Janine, you are SUCH a love. I’m so grateful for all your support, my friend! 🙂
I actually have two close friends who need this RIGHT NOW. This week!
How has it been a year? Your book baby is growing up!
Message or email me their addresses! 🙂 I’d be happy to send them my book! Thanks honey! XOXO
Allison G smith says
I can’t believe it’s been a year. That actually freaks me out. Such a beautiful book, written by a beautiful person ????!
Gosh Allison, you are such a sweetheart. Thank you, my friend!! Your support means the world to me!
Lynn Simpson says
Your message is needed, blessing and encouraging many, Chris! Thanks for all the hard work you’ve put into this project and your other writings.
Thank YOU for all your support, my friend. I’m so grateful for you!
Kristi Campbell says
You’re so amazing. I want to do an author interview with you, please?
Did I not respond to this? Oh my gosh… YES I’d be happy to do an author interview! Love you so much, friend.
MyEsha R says
Please keep helping. This is amazing!
Oh what a wonderful thing to say! Thank you for blessing me with your comment. <3
Thanks to pinterest, I just found you. Buying your book today as I face a tough surgery and long recovery. Thank you – blessings
I hope you found my book helpful, and you have completely healed by now! I appreciate you commenting and I’m so sorry I am just seeing it now. Let me know how you are faring. I’m always thinking about and praying for anyone who comments here!
Maggie Simmons says
Christine, I never knew the struggle that women have until reading your blog! You are such an inspiration to many women and I thank you for your encouragement. The emotional healing of wounds is not unlike the physical that you mentioned here. My passion is to help women know their worth in Christ and be healed from the wounds that have been inflicted on them.
None of us can do it alone and as women we need to be reminded of that continually. God bless your all your efforts to give courage to women!
Maggie, what an inspiring mission you have. Oh, so much healing both internally and externally needed in many! I love your passion and your purpose. We need one another to lift us up and serve each other when going through any sort of healing. Thank you so much for stopping by and reading this post back in Sept. LOL
I somehow missed a bunch of comments. Please forgive me for not responding sooner!
Hi Chris! New York Time’s best seller list??? HUGE SQUEAL!! You are epic my friend. I am so blessed to know you through your blog, and I mean that. Your writing has changed lives, and isn’t that why you write in the first place?
You have the wisdom gained through experience and through others you have touched too, so thank you for sharing it yet again. May we all learn how important it is to support each other every day, in good stuff and hard stuff too.
God’s peace and blessings,
Oh Ceil, NO I did NOT make that list! Oh that is hilarious! Yeah, no. LOL. I was saying that I didn’t expect to- but rather dreamed of helping those who need it. 🙂
Thank you from the bottom of my heart, for all your ongoing support and encouragement! You are so dear to me, Ceil.
Julie J Severson says
What a giver you are! Your dreams and intentions for your book and your “Secret Mission” says so much about you. Can’t believe it’s already been a year that your beautiful, life-living book came out! I know it’s been a blessing to many as are you, Christine.
Oh Julie, I don’t know how or why I missed so many comments in this post! Forgive me for not replying… (LIFE, right?)
You are a HUGE blessing of support that I am forever grateful for, my dear friend. Truly.
Jorjann C says
Thanks so much!
Grateful for Your books, words of hope that you’ve shared with all these wonderful women who are
going thru “tough stuff recovery” and on to healing.
I’m 3 weeks post op, ankle tendon repair and healing from a high risk UTI, which landed me in
the “sleep depravation chamber” aka the hospital
for 4 days last week. I am so relieved to know
I am not alone. God bless you all.
OH Jorjann! I’m so sorry you had to land in that ‘sleep depravation chamber’ for FOUR DAYS. I laughed so hard when I read that… because it’s SO true! You poor thing. I’m so sorry!!
You are truly not alone. God bless YOU. Praying for strength and peace as you continue to heal.
Stephanie @ Mended By Mercy says
I really need to read your book! I know you have followed me through my head injury which has resulted in chronic migraines, memory loss and brain fog. Your encouraging messages have meant so much to me! All of your points are dead on. One of the biggest things I learned is to let people help. One dear friend who is in her 60s took me to a dentist appt one time because I couldn’t drive for 6 months after having a seizure. I felt so bad and told her I was so sorry and how grateful I was that she was taking me to the dentist so my husband didn’t have to take off work. She looked at me and said “honey, don’t be sorry. Never be sorry. When you allow others to help you, you are allowing them to be a blessing to you and it in turn, it blesses them. So don’t ever feel like a burden. Let others bless you because it blesses them.” I had never looked at it from that point of view. I’ve always been the caregiver as a nurse and the one on the “helping side.” Never the one that was being helped. And she was soooo right. It just took my adopted grandma to tell it to me straight! I’m going to have to get your book, sister because even now, being pregnant and high risk, I struggle with this chronic illness and sometimes feel like I am literally going crazy! Love you sweet sister in Christ!
Ah Stephanie! I have always been so concerned and inspired by your strength as you had to manage such a challenging condition and for so long, sweet sister. I LOVE what your adopted grandma said. It is TRUE. (That very thing is in my book!) I hope you got it, but if you haven’t- I can send you a copy!! Just let me know and know also, that I will be praying for your health and your pregnancy. (I get the going crazy part. 🙂 )
Thank you so much for all of your pointers for getting through this post op process of my ankle. I really needed to hear that someone has gone through the same exact emotions I am currently experiencing. These articles were a God send..❤️
Erika, I am so glad you found my blog and my posts are helping you in any way. Email me your address at Chris@TheMomCafe.com, and I will send you my book.
Hang in there, new friend. Hoping you found my ten tips and twenty truths posts too. 🙂
I am 2 weeks post op and 4 weeks out from original accident (which was a 2 inch step that I missed????????♀️
DAMN those two inch steps!! Big fat UGH. 🙁
Ashley Baker says
Thank you for your blog! I’m recovering from ankle surgery after breaking my ankle 11 weeks ago. I’m a lot better than I was and no where near back to normal. I have found myself referring back to your blog several times for encouragement. I know that God speaks through others and he has definitely called you to help so many of us struggling. Thank you for saying yes!
Ah Ashley, thank you so much for your kind words! I’m thrilled you found my blog encouraging while you have endured such a difficult recovery season. You have blessed ME with your comment.
I know you are well into your healing, but if you would like my book to help you get through the rest of your recovery, I’d be glad to send it to you! Email me your address at Chris@TheMomCafe.com if you are interested.
Hang in there, new friend. You can DO THIS.
This was such a helpful article! I fell the day before Halloween while I was in the process of moving (missed one step). I severely sprained my ankle and tore ligaments so severely that my ankle required surgery the day before Thsnksgiving. To add on to this, I just moved into a new house during all of this and haven’t been able to put anything away. It’s been very hard to rely on my fiancé for basic things like water, ice and food. Just resting and not doing anything has made me feel depressed at times. The discombobulation of my living situation has been challenging too. I’m glad I stumbled on your article for validation of what I’m going through. Thank you!
Oh my goodness Hope! As if the move and beginning a new life with your fiance isn’t enough stress, you have to get injured to boot! I’m so sorry. I hope you were able to read the other articles on my blog- for more help and encouragement. I’d love to send you my book. Email me your address at Chris@TheMomCafe.com and I will get it off to you asap.
Hang in there, Hope. I’m sure it’s maddening and exhausting and depressing at times. Keep reminding yourself that this is TEMPORARY, and soon enough, you will be able to settle into your new home and begin your life with your love! I’m sure this is great training ground for your marriage. Remember to ask your fiance for what you need and be patient with him too. He’s probably trying to navigate all of this the best he can. *Deep breaths* 🙂
Andrea B says
Thanx for your words. It really calmed me when i was worried about my foot. My toe was broken and now is in a cast. Since i cannot see my toe or if the surgery was done right it has left me agitated and scared. Although, reading your blog has calmed me by reminding me to take it slow and be patient.
Thank you for posting.
Andrea, how you are doing? I JUST saw your comment. I’m so glad you found my blog, and I would love for you to get my book to help you through the rest of your recovery season. Please check it out on Amazon! If you don’t have the financial means to purchase it, I’d be happy to send you a copy. I know how difficult healing can be…
Email me your address at Chris@TheMomCafe.com if you’d like me to get my book to you.
Hello! I just found your blog tonight, as I lay restless in bed close to midnight and in tears from getting up to use the bathroom because the pain is so unbelievable any time my foot is not elevated. I broke my ankle 10 days ago and I am 3-4 days post op and the psychological challenges have started. I am so overwhelmed about thinking of my daily life (single mom! 5 year old! 2nd story apartment! Dog! Being out of work!) and then I stumbled on your blog and I started crying for a different reason—- gratefulness. Thank you so much for being so relatable and honest and for writing these things down!!! I would love a copy of your book.
I will look it up online, but money will be extraordinarily tight, I hope the local library is carrying it!!!
Thank you so much again
Oh my gosh, Evelin! I absolutely understand your overwhelm and the PAIN. I can’t even imagine all you are going through and hope and pray you have friends and family who are willing and able to step in and help you!! Girl, I will ABSOLUTELY send you my book- and I will do that TODAY. Email me your address, okay? Chris@TheMomCafe.com
Susan Cichoski says
Evelin, we share similar accident time frames and pain. Im a week out from fall/surgery and I found this book. Its so good, I hope you get a copy. Take care!!
Susan, THANK YOU! I’m so glad my book is helping you! 🙂 I would SO appreciate you taking a minute to leave a review on Amazon if you feel up to it. Your comment blessed me today. So grateful. <3
I stumbled across your blog thanks to Pinterest. I’ve been feeling sorry for myself as I await ankle surgery. Your posts made me realize that I’m not the first to go through this. I am going to try to order your book because I feel like it will support me during this journey. Thank you for being there!
Gina! I am so sorry I missed your comment! I hope your surgery went smoothly and you are handling the recovery okay. I also hope you have my book in your hands to give you the help and hope you need. Please let me know how you are doing, okay?
Your blog is like water in a desert. I am recovering from tibia surgery and I will be using your articles for strength to give my body the time and patience it needs. I’ll also use it as strength to do the things I won’t want to. Thank you for sharing, its very encouraging!
I’m SO glad you found my blog, and I’m hoping it will help carry you and guide you through this difficult season, Thao! I hope you can get my book on Amazon. I think it will help you even more. 🙂 If you would rather I send you a copy, email me your address at Chris@TheMomCafe.com. Hold on, stay strong, be patient and kind to yourself.
Hello, thanks to Pinterest I found you…is your book just for women, or would it help an 18 yr old find hope while he’s recouperating from strained gluteal muscles? He loves working out at the gym! And I can tell he’s depressed now that he’s been unable to go because of his injury. It worries me because he’s such a happy young man but for the last month, I’ve seen very little of that happy, go-lucky guy I know & love.
Your poor son, Alma. When our kids are used to being so active, this can be CRUSHING to not be able to do what they love! I’m not sure he would appreciate my book, as it’s geared more towards women- but there ARE chapters that might help him get through his recovery. Just keep reminding him that this is temporary. Help him find something productive to do that doesn’t involve him being active- What other interests does he have? Encourage him to dive into things that will help him feel fulfilled during this temporary time. Ultimately, this will surely teach him to appreciate his healthy body when he recovers completely! I hope the wait isn’t too long!
Tiffani Minton says
Christine thanks so much for these blogs they mean so much to me as I sit here broken (my right leg and ankle) I have been so down and out but these blogs have made me laugh and realize I’m gonna be ok (eventually) I just had ringgit ankle orif just had my stitches removed today and I’m still non weight bearing so I still can’t dribe and man I have been so down and out!! So thank you so much for these blogs they have helped so much!!????
Oh, Tiffani, I’m SO glad you found my blog too! I KNOW how hard it can be. So so hard, friend. But it WILL be okay.. in time. It just feels like it’s neverending and my gosh do I understand feeling down and out. I was there so many times. Please look into getting my book. I think it will really help you through the rest of your recovery! If you can’t purchase it, I’d be happy to send you a free copy. (You can email me your address at Chris@TheMomCafe.com)
Your article made me cry. I recently had ankle surgery and I am not allowed to put any weight on my leg for 12 weeks. I am a very active person . I run 6 miles 4-5 days a week and is always doing something fun with my husband. Also for the past 3 years, I was the care taker for my mother who passed away last May. Just shy of her 1 year anniversary of her death, I was in a terrible accident and now I need someone to help care for me. It’s a very frustrating and emotional time for me. I would love to read your book. I am also newly married and I feel terrible that our first year of marriage will be spent with me recovering from my surgery/injury.
Oh, Theresa, I’m so sorry you had such a terrible accident and have to face such a long difficult season of recovery! You had already been through so much, caring for your mother and grieving her passing. Just so much.
I know how hard it can be to suddenly STOP your busy and active life. Everything gets turned upside down. It’s especially hard to allow others to care for YOU when you are so used to that caretaking role. AND you are newly married? Oh, sweetie… what a way to spend your first year of marriage! Sigh…
The one blessing that will come from this is that your marriage will strengthen, having been through such adversity. I hate this for you, but I also know that in our most difficult struggles, we realize just how strong we really are. You will get through this. I KNOW you will grow so much from this. That will be the gift. It may not feel like there would be a gift in this mess, but I promise you there is. Hold on, new friend. You and your husband will come out on the other side, so much stronger having been through so much right at the start.
I’d love to send you my book. 🙂 I am anxious to get it in your hands.
Email me your address and I’ll get it off to you ASAP. (Chris@TheMomCafe.com)
jenna villar says
Hi. Just had my foot surgery and had metal implant. My doctor says I need 90 days to fully recover. And since i am a single working mom, i forced myself to go to work just after 30 days from my surgery. I feel helpless whenever im in the office, i can feel people around that they do not understand what I am feeling that they think that I am just fine and all. But im not. It is so painful and its swelling each day as i go to work. I just hope that i can find sympathy and moral support from people around.
I searched on things I need to do after surgery, and fell on your web, it moved me. It made me cry. And i want to Thank You! I hope i can have a copy.of your book. 🙂 So i can be able to be more inspired and more motivated.
Oh, Jenna, I’m so so sorry you feel so alone! I just hate that you have to go back to work so early- and I worry that your foot won’t heal properly with all the demands you are placing on yourself! Have you seen your doctor recently? The pain and swelling should get checked out, sweetie. I would HATE for things to get worse, consequently extending your healing and recovery time! Could you work from home at least? Is that even possible? My heart hurts for you and people can be quite ignorant when it comes to understanding other people’s pain and struggles with healing. It breaks my heart that your coworkers can’t be more sympathetic to your circumstances. 🙁
I’m SO glad you found my blog and reading it has encouraged you, my new friend! I would LOVE to send you my book asap. Send me your address via email at Chris@TheMomCafe.com and I’ll get it off to you. And please keep me posted on how you are doing. I’ll be praying for you.
Be good to yourself. Give yourself the kindness and patience and grace you deserve as you endure this difficult season, okay?
Found your blog like others, last night in the middle of the night in pain– an answer to prayer. I teach special ed and fell in the classroom February 14 breaking my 5th metatarsal. I have been on leave since the accident and was in a boot and therapy for about 10 weeks with little to no healing so had surgery on May 4th to implant a metal plate and screws. I am using a scooter and just now starting to walk on crutches again with partial weight bearing.
I can relate to so much you have written. I am starting over again since surgery and dealing with pain, discouragement and isolation. My kids are grown with children but now I am taking care of my mom. I am grateful hub is helping with meals & laundry, even a little housekeeping, but now, this summer he is driving a truck often 12 hours a day. We are fairly new to our community and so my close friends are long distance.
Thank-you so much for your writing. It is like finding treasure. I have some writing projects of my own and I am trying to use this time to make some progress though it is so much slower than I had hoped. You are encouraging me to keep at it.
Sheri, I am SO GLAD you found my blog and it is encouraging you! The pain, discouragement, and isolation can be so horrible. I’m so sorry you have to endure such a difficult and long healing process.
I’m anxious for you to read my book because I believe it will help get you through these long days of recovery. LOVE that you will be diving into your own writing projects! That is the best thing you can do! And yes- EVERYTHING takes so much longer when healing… no matter if it’s physical progress or mindful or emotional well being – EVERYTHING is challenged when our bodies are hurting. Please be patient and gracious with yourself, okay?
Lisa Bell says
I would absolutely love your book! I had surgery 8 days ago for a broken ankle. Im not handling this well at all. Im so over this already. Thank you!
Girl, I get it! I’m so glad you commented, so I can help you through your recovery…
Email me your address to Chris@TheMomCafe.com, and I’d be happy to send you a copy. 🙂 Hang. In. There!!
Cindy Tulowiecki says
I was searching for some encouragement for my sister who has had some major surgeries and has a long road to an uncertain recovery, I would love to give her some home to hang on.
I’m so sorry your sister is going through so much! Please get her my book! I think it will encourage her through it all.
If you are unable to purchase it, you can email me your address at Chris@TheMomCafe.com, and I will send you a free copy to give to her.
Hoping and praying your sister can progress smoothly through her recovery and heal completely.
I fell and broke both ankles and my left collarbone 4 weeks ago. Surgery and 2 weeks in the hospital over Christmas was bad enough, but add on to that the unexpected death of my mother-in-law during that time and it’s all like a bad dream. My friends have been amazing bringing meals and staying with me, and I am healing, but you’re so right – this is not supposed to happen to those of us who do the caregiving most of the time! Asking for help is hard!! Thank you for the article and helping me see that all my feelings are completely normal. Keep up the good work!
Oh, Mel, I’m so sorry for ALL of this. Breaking BOTH ankles must be so incredibly hard to manage and along with your collarbone too? My gosh, I can’t imagine how difficult recovery must be for you. AND the unexpected loss of your MIL is heartbreaking. What a horrible season of pain and suffering for you. I hope you were able to read the other posts I’ve written about healing and managing the pain listed at the end of this post.
I hope you can get my book to help you through the rest of your healing! I think it might be a good source of help and encouragement for you. If you are unable to purchase it, just email me your address at Chris@TheMomCafe.com and I will send you a free copy.
I’ll be praying for your healing, Mel.
Traci Morris says
Prayers for you and your family and for a blessed recovery.
Where are your books available? Ive just come across this link and think your book may just be what i need, i have had two lots of major surgery (2 weeks) apart and am struggling in all aspects especially in returning to work
Hi Christine! I’m so sorry you are struggling so much and it sure seems you have a good reason, with two surgeries. You can purchase my book on Amazon here:
If you aren’t able to afford it, you can email me your address and I will send you a copy if you’re in the U.S.! My email: Chris@TheMomCafe.com
I hope my book brings you the comfort, guidance, and support you need.
Anonymous warrior says
Reading this from a very low and lonely place today. I’m two weeks post fall. A fall down the stairs that broke my neck and cracked my skull. I’m at home, alone most of the time, while my husband and young son go off to school and work. I need my husband to take care of my son and the house and me, but our marriage is in shambles and he literally is telling me now that after this is all over he wants a divorce. Struggling to battle isolation and loneliness during my recovery was hard enough, let alone having to cope with the idea my life as I know it is falling apart and he wants out. Thanks for listening. I just had to tell someone.
Oh, my heart, I am so sorry to hear about the horrible circumstances you are in! My heart just breaks for you! You are suffering through so much physical pain from your injuries and to have the emotional trauma with your husband and your marriage falling apart- my gosh, it’s just too much. I so wish I could hug you right now. Is there anyone you trust that you can reach out to? You need support now more than ever! Please don’t do this alone. I’m so worried about you! Praying for healing, for strength, and for hope in this terrible situation.
I know things seem completely hopeless right now in so many areas of your life, but please try to hold out hope that things WILL get better- in time. If anything, think of your son and your love for him- draw on that for strength and hope, okay?
I truly appreciate you sharing all of this here, my new friend. If I can do anything for you, please let me know!
I’m 2 week’s post-op in a non-weight bearing cast after breaking my leg in 3 places from a fall down some stairs. Frustration has already set in as well as a strange lamenting over the loss of what my leg once was – despite Dr’s telling me I’m right on track towards healing. I’m afraid that all these new “nuts and bolts” inside my leg will leave me stiff & swollen forever. I could use some encouragement and would truly love a copy of your book if possible. Thanks for sharing your experience and tips.
Oh, Tammy, I’m so sorry you are going through such a difficult time! I KNOW how hard it can be- filled with pain and frustration and that longing and loss of your full life as it once was. But I promise, in time, you will recover and heal and get your life back! It will take a lot of patience and perseverance, but it WILL come. Hold on to that hope, okay?
Email me your address at Chris@themomcafe.com, and I will send you my book. 🙂
Megan Wheeler says
You are amazing. I have only read a handful of your blogs and already I am feeling the weight being lifted. I have a long way to go only 3 weeks after my injury. I can now say that I have truly known despair, hopelessness, insanity, and pain, oh the pain! Reading some of your blogs has been a true life saver. My perception is starting to shift and I am working on breathing and giving into the healing process. I have always considered myself a patient person towards others, but never for myself. Being a mother of 3 boys, I have never let myself slow down (probably why I’m in this mess). I have always been their sole provider, care taker, emotional support, and their stability. Currently I feel like a failure at all of these things. It is unbearably difficult at times. I would love to read your book! You have some amazing insight and experience about just how hard this process can be. Thank you for giving so many people hope and perspective during their struggle! We all appreciate it.
OH, Megan, I absolutely understand every single difficult thing you are feeling and experiencing right now! It’s just so hard, so defeating, so painful, and so discouraging to be in this place- I know. I’m so sorry you have to bear it all and my gosh, being the sole provider of those precious boys of yours just adds unbelievable pressure and overwhelm. You can’t do it all and you must give yourself an ABUNDANT amount of grace and patience. I hope you have some supportive friends or family members who can help you while you recover. PLEASE reach out to them. You need and deserve the help- both with your kids and with your healing!
And thank you so much for your encouragement! My gosh, here you are suffering and you take the time to thank me. Your heart is GOLD, my new friend. I would love to send you a copy of my book if you are unable to purchase it yourself. Email me your address and I will ship it off to you asap! (Chris@themomcafe.com) I hope it brings you more encouragement, guidance, and comfort while you heal. It’s such a hard season for you, but I promise it will get better!
Thank you so much for writing such a funny and honest blog that totally sums up how I’m feeling right now. A week on from a fall at home resulting in a trimalleolar ankle break and surgery, now in a cast for 6 weeks and on crutches. Looking after a 3 year old and breastfeeding a 5 month old. Your words are light in the darkness and just what I needed to read right now, about the pain and feelings of utter helplessness.
Oh, Amanda, you poor thing!! I am SO sorry you are having to endure such a painful injury/recovery WHILE parenting your little ones. There is nothing harder than trying to care for your children while you are in pain and have limited mobility. (I KNOW!) I hope and pray that friends and family are helping you through this incredibly hard season of healing.
I’m SO glad you found my blog and my posts encouraged you!! Please check out my book on Amazon, because I really think it will help you through this. If you aren’t able to purchase it, email me (email@example.com) your address and I will send you a free copy. https://www.amazon.com/Help-Hope-While-Youre-Healing/dp/0990830330/
Hang in there, mama! YOU CAN DO THIS.
Hi Christine, I read your book recently through Kindle unlimited. It was a great read and I appreciated it so much. I may need to re-read it or parts of it! I’m 8 weeks past my ankle surgery for a torn peroneal tendon in my left ankle. I had daily pain for 5 years and tried everything–all sorts of doctors, tests, medicines, injections, chiropractor, acupuncture. Low and behold when I finally decided to do this surgery, they discovered a 10 centimeter tear. My doctor said “No wonder you were in pain!” Anyway, I’m still on crutches and going to PT. It’s my left foot so I can drive. But there is still SO MUCH I can’t do. I miss being more active, and I can’t take care of my home or my yard. I’m a SAHM so that is difficult. My kids are 16 and 13, and I’m so glad school is out for the summer and they can help me more. The 16 year old drives, and that has been a godsend. My husband had to deal with the hardest part of my recovery immediately after surgery and that was overwhelming for him. It’s a lot for him to have to do his job, get everything I need, plus take care of the house and yard, and the dog. I’m thankful the kids are older and are helpful. God help anyone trying to recover with little kids underfoot!
I find that the mental and emotional side of healing is almost more difficult than the physical. My main question for you is this–and I don’t know if anyone else can relate, but I’m so tired of talking to people about my ankle!!!! For example, being at church is almost torture because people are either asking me how I’m doing since the surgery, or they want to know “what happened” since I am on crutches. Those who know about the surgery want to know when I’ll be off the crutches (I don’t know–so that is frustrating.) I’ve also really struggled emotionally with physical setbacks during my recovery (incision not healing, etc.), and have been very open about asking for prayers in my lowest times. It is somewhat humbling/humiliating when people ask me how I’m doing after all of that. I don’t like being the center of attention. Having the crutches (or the knee scooter before) is like a beacon and I can’t escape! I know people mean well, but my story/injury/surgery/recovery/prognosis is all people ever want to talk about. I am living with my limitations every day and it is depressing. I don’t want to talk about it when I get somewhere and am finally, actually around people other than my own family! Between the post-surgery isolation and over a year of COVID-19 isolation, it’s all a bit much! Can we talk about something else, please? I guess I maybe need to do a better job at steering the conversation. Again, I know people mean well, and I know it’s out of legitimate concern, but I am really struggling with this.
Peroneal tendon surgery is just a long recovery. I was told this before I had the surgery. I had over 5 years of pain before this, and I don’t know what I did or when the tear started. Recovery is definitely hard. Especially mentally and emotionally. It feels like one step forward, two steps back all the time.
I keep praying, doing my Bible studies, texting friends, etc. I never knew how lonely and difficult post-surgery could be. Summer is always bad for me with regard to seeing friends, since everyone’s kids are home, and there just isn’t a lot of free time. Thank you for your book and for this blog.
Oh, Carol, thank you so much for reaching out and sharing your story. I’m grateful you told me that my book has helped you. It sounds like you have been through SO MUCH PAIN and SUFFERING. What a long hard road it’s been for you and I’m so so sorry about it ALL. You poor thing!! Please go back to some of those chapters that might continue to encourage you- I had to focus on those exercises OFTEN throughout all my recoveries!
You are sooo right about the emotional and mental sides of our recovery and healing- as hard as the physical pain and suffering are, it’s often the mental/emotional side of things that is even more difficult to endure! And having so many people constantly pay attention to our vulnerable hurting side can be exhausting, depleting, and discouraging, and awkward, and awful. I get IT. I hated being the center of attention with ALL my surgeries and people constantly asking about them and how I was doing. It was often terrible because I was taking FOREVER to heal and I felt embarrassed to tell them the truth. People assume you get better and move on- but that is RARELY the case. Healing takes soooo much longer than anyone ever expects. sigh.
I’ve learned that when I would get those questions and pitiful looks, I would give a quick answer and immediately ask them what is new with them, or a specific question I know they would like to talk about. I would often say, “I don’t want to dwell on all my crap, what’s new with YOU?” Or “Eh, I’m going to be fine. How are YOU doing? How’s fill-in-the-blank doing?” Just direct the conversation on them as fast as you can. People like talking about themselves and it will give you something else to think about and focus on besides your hurting horrible situation. Heck, I’ve bluntly said that too! “Give me something to focus on, other than my crappy situation! Please!”
You are so strong. Do you know that? And diving into your Bible studies and reaching out to friends is exactly what you need to keep doing. Hold onto your faith- this is the best time to nourish your heart and mind with God’s Word and grow your relationship with Him. He tends to get our attention most when we are stripped of our busy lives and desperate for hope, doesn’t He? And keep resting as much as you possibly can. I know it feels like this has been going on forever (it has!) and there’s no end in sight…
But someday, you will be through this long difficult season. And you WILL have your life and health back. Oh friend, thank you so much for sharing your heart and your struggles here with me and all the others who read this blog. I will be praying for your healing and your heart. PLEASE forgive me for not responding sooner! I’ve been off the blog this summer and just saw your comment now. I hope this is still helpful and I hope perhaps you are doing much better by now!