I turn 49 today. And as I wonder about my age, the years gone by, and this season I am in, I realize that these days are the best days of my life. I’m your average middle class American mom with two kids and an adoring husband. I am living the dream I didn’t know I had. Better yet, I’m living the dream I believe God had…
This is where I am.
I look back on my life as though there were different seasons that defined my years, my growth, my identity, and paved my path forward, preparing me for what lies ahead. I see that each one created in me, those things I would need for what’s to come. I wonder now, how this season will affect the next, and I realize that with time I will surely understand its purpose.
I’ve written a lot about these seasons, and how they have created who I am and this life I live now. I’ve written about acceptance, intention, and purpose often around here- because I truly believe there should be those three things in every season of our lives…
Actually in every day-
Don’t you agree?
As I write this, I grasp onto gratitude for this place I am in, and I cling to my faith in where I will go.
I am often in a state of agony, as this world reveals such atrocities of war and hate and death and violence. I watch as this earth crushes humanity through earthquakes, floods, hurricanes, tornadoes, and fires…
And I feel the weight of it all and the constant conviction that I should do more. I must do more. I feel an immense burden of guilt, for living in this wrapped gift of protection and peace. How is it that I am untouched by it all? How can it be, that I live my days free from all this mayhem? This madness? This suffering? This evil?
I’m not naive to realize that at any given moment, evil can find me too. There is a chilling unknown we all anticipate, and in these times- we are well aware that danger may be a moment away.
But for now, in this moment…
I am astounded at this life I get to live.
There is a profound joy that simmers deep in your soul, when you are using the gifts God gave you. There is an immense fulfillment that comes from it. I believe in this season, I’m using many of my gifts.
And although I still suffer in silence, when I am hit by this often indistinguishable illness- I must have faith that this too, will find its way through acceptance, intention and purpose. I cannot let this pain steal the season, or disband my mission with defeat and discouragement. I will grab onto the hope that more answers will come, toward healing and restoration.
Experiencing chronic illness, past surgeries and injuries, and now planning yet another surgery, I find more affirmation and confirmation of my most valued mission: My upcoming book, offering women help and hope while they are healing. I don’t think I have ever felt this assured of anything in my life. I hope and pray this gift reaches the many women who suffer too. It really is all about acceptance, intention, and purpose. And my heart swells to think that I can use my own painful experiences to walk alongside others in a very personal way.
I can’t think of anything better than that.
So today, this is where I am.
Completely and utterly grateful for this life I live.
I couldn’t think of any place I’d rather be.
Always LOVE linking up with FTSF.
FRIST! AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY KITTY! <3 <3 <3
You’re so silly. And I LOVE YOU for it! 🙂
Or maybe NOT frist! EEEK! Who knows now! Why am I being moderated?!
You are ALWAYS MODERATED!! HAHAHAHA!!!! I believe you may have been first!! Or Janine… I can’t tell back here behind the blog. 🙂
Ahhhh so beautiful. I’m so happy you’re where you want to be, and that you feel happy there. That’s AWESOME <3
Thanks love. I really am. And it’s pretty incredible, really. <3 I've come a long way!
Janine Huldie says
Aw, Happy 49th Birthday my dear friend and wishing you only the best yet to come now!! 🙂
Thanks SO much Janine! 40 sounds so… OLD! lol
Oh my gosh, I get to wish you a Happy Birthday, what a glorious birthday for a faithful, beautiful, gorgeous woman!!! If it is a belated birthday, I wish you the best birthday year ahead, you are graced with such a beautiful life because God has plans for you my dear friend, you have such a huge heart and are faithful to your calling to minister to others with this beautiful book and your life!!!
PS..I never got your email about your launch team..please send..I would love to help in anyway I can!
You are a blessing, and this writing here is so heart-warming and a testimony to God molding and shaping you through the years into his image!!
I return to writing next week..missed you much!!!
Oh Kathy- you are SUCH a God-SEND. Thank you for always blessing me with your beautiful encouragement, sweet sister! Yes… I was going to send you the PDF when it was ready to go! It’s coming SOON!! (Still doing some final edits!)
I’m SO glad you are coming back!! Missed you terribly. <3
Very lovely. You are an amazing lady. Happy birthday!!!
Aw! As are YOU, my friend. As are you. Thank you for your beautiful support and gorgeous heart. <3
Lynn J Simpson says
Firstly, happy birthday and what a milestone year already with the publication of your book. I so agree that it is important we recognize that we are called to different seasons and they all are perfectly orchestrated for our journey here. Have a wonderful birthday weekend!
My Inner Chick says
——-Happy Birthday, Chris.
The world is SO much sweeter, kinder, and glittery w/ you inside of it, darling.
God is using you in BIG ways.
I Love to observe what HE is doing for HIS glory.
xxxx From MN.
Oh Kim, my dear sweet soul sister friend- thank you. I love to observe what HE is doing for HIS glory too. It’s quite a show, isn’t it? <3
Kenya G. Johnson says
I am glad something so wonderful came out of your painful experiences and you have your own wisdom and God’s protect to withstand the next surgery.
Happy belated birthday to you! 49 looks good on you!
P.S. Glad you got a new post in 😉
Thank you SO much, dear friend. <3 And yes- YES! I decided the morning of my birthday to STOP doing doing doing... and treat myself to WRITING. I did just that, and glad I made that choice!
We'll see when the next one comes... LOL
(Anxious to find out your answers! Did you publish yet? Must go check...)
Thanks SO much for stopping by to wish me a happy birthday Kerry! So grateful. <3
Allie G smith says
Well said! And a nice reminder for me, as it was a lllooonnnggg week. I have too much to be grateful for, to let the minutia get me down. And Happy Birthday my sweet friend. Have a fabulous day!
Oh, I just hate those llloooooonnngggg weeks! I have had them, and they are NOT FUN. Hang in there sweetie! And yes… gratitude, despite and because. 🙂
Kristi Campbell says
Happy happy birthday, Beautiful friend. How did I not know (or perhaps I forgot) that our birthdays are just days apart??? I, too, am exactly where I need to be although I am thinking a LOT more about turning the big five-oh in two years and being in better shape than I am. I’m SO happy about your book and cannot wait to spread the news far and wide with you! xoox
Aw thanks SO much, babe!! Yeah- I am now seriously thinking about that big 50. Good Lord… I am feeling OLD!
I missed your birthday! I was in Alaska! Bah! Happy 49th to a beautiful friend. You are a gift.
Well happy (belated) birthday!!!
And congrats – so much congrats!!! I think this is the book who were meant to write!! 🙂
I so agree with these 3 simple principles of life — well, simply in declaring, but hard for us all to live. Living in daily Gratitude is definitely what helps me remain in those places. It’s hard to complain over much when really our lives are so richly blessed in so many ways compared to many others.
Jennifer | The Deliberate Mom says
Happy belated birthday lovely lady! You are one amazing woman and you make every season sparkle because you truly are a light in the world. Congratulations once again on your book. So very exciting!
We really should all count our blessings just as you did, Christine! We’re truly privileged!
Happy birthday. It’s back to school for me, too. I teach and I’m ever grateful for the support of parents. Paper and pen – back to school. Six words. And I am over from Eli’s place. My wife is grateful schools back in session, too. There’s too much action when we we all home for summer! Have a great school year and a wonderful birthday.
Lux G. says
I believe and agree! I am exactly where God intends me to be and that I need to live deliberately every day.
Julie Jo Severson says
Just stopping by today out of the blue, to see what I missed and to get a dose of YOU and your uplifting words, and I can’t believe I didn’t comment on this post. I’d read it when if first came out and was so touched by it, but I must’ve been pulled away and never got back to it. Christine, I’m just in awe and so proud of you for finding it in you to write this book that comes from such personal experience of which you’re still in the thick. The credibility you have to write this specific book to encourage others is second to none. I cannot wait to read it and share it and support you in anyway I can. You and I are just a year apart. Comforts me to know we’re on the brink of the half-century mark together;-)
Marie kléber says
I love the way you look at things and see life, full of miracles and opportunities. Once again, well done on your book. I am sure it’ll inspire many and will be one of the ones you keep close to yourself, to read again and again and find peace in it.
A very late Happy Birthday Christine. Stay blessed always.